


Saved Me Again

by constancehainesashes



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bondage, F/M, Fame, Horny, Love, Lust, Sex, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-02-14 12:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 57
Words: 70,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2191317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constancehainesashes/pseuds/constancehainesashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All we can see are our similarities; all they can see are our differences.<br/> -Anya Singh & Zayn Malik</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SweetLoving](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetLoving/gifts).



Anya's POV

I can feel myself sinking. Dying. Already. Rotting away into nothing, empty without his love. Without his touch. He's gone, and I'm caged. There's nothing left to do now, no reason to stick around. No incentive to live. Nothing.  
I suck in a deep breath, lifting the blade. I stare at it hollowly, wondering if this is the best way. Maybe I should just hang myself. Cutting might not kill me.  
I sigh, knowing there's no rope. I realize I don't care how I do it; I just want it done. I close my eyes, touching the blade to my wrist. I cut my caramel skin for the first time in my life. The last time.

''Anya?!'' I can hear Zayn's voice in the distance. He sounds alarmed. I know now that death - she is near. I can't feel my body any more, and that's a good sign. I enjoy this delusion of his perfect voice. He sounds worried, though.  
''Anya, can you hear me?'' Now his voice is closer, almost like he is holding me. Maybe he is. I can feel nothing. Not even the pain.  
He cries. It breaks my heart again. I just want to escape the hurt. His life can go back to normal. He can become Zayn Malik again. For me, it's too late. I'm ready to leave. I can't live without him.  
I hear him cry, and this delusion now pains me. Why is my mind conjuring up this scenario? I can feel him become silent again, and the quietness of the air. Then nothing. Nothing at all.


	2. Characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of the oc's in the story.

Anya Kiran Singh

3a9z4  
Hey! I'm Anya! I'm 20 years old and I study at London University. I love photography! I have some pretty amazing friends at uni. I'm quite shy and introverted. I find it hard to open up to people. I've never been in love but I'm currently in a relationship with a college friend. I live in a small apartment in Shoreditch (east London for those of you who don't know). I'm an Indian by family. I come fron Harlow.

Sean Richard

www.google.co.in/imgres?hl=en&...  
Hey, guys, I'm Sean. I'm 20 and I study astronomy at London University. I live near Liverpool Street alone. I'm quite temperamental. I'm in a relationship with Anya, but it's nothing serious yet. I want more, but she doesn't. That makes me very unhappy. I'm quite possessive and self-centred.

Lexie Williams

www.google.co.in/imgres?hl=en&...  
Hello, there! I'm Lexie! I'm studying photography at London University! I'm 20 years old and I love to have fun! I'm known to be very optimistic and outgoing! I think I'm a good friend to Anya! I'm happily in love with Rob!

Tanya Doberman

www.google.co.in/imgres?hl=en&...  
Hi, guys! I'm Tanya Doberman! I'm 20 and I'm studying science at London Uni. I'm quite intelligent and known as the braniac of the group. I like to be relaxed in life and chill.

Robert Tate

www.google.co.in/imgres?hl=en&...  
Yup, that's me! Hi, I'm Rob. I'm majoring in science at London Uni, second year. I have some pretty cool friends. I've already met the one - Lexie. I'm known to be silent, and I can totally relate to Anya about that! See ya later!

Zenith Stone

www.google.co.in/imgres?hl=en&...  
Hey! I'm Zen! And that is my real name *rolls eyes*. I'm completely the opposite of what I look like! I'm wild, if I do say so myself! I'm 20, studying photography at London University! I'm pretty crazy, but my friends keep me grounded (kinda! They wish!).


	3. 1. Decisions

Anya's POV

I rubbed my eyes, sunlight hitting my vision. My pillow was streaked with tears. I remembered why that was. My parents had called me last night while Sean had been here. He wanted to tell them we were together. But he didn't know how bad things would get. It had been a disaster. My parents hadn't found out anything, but Sean had been pretty upset.  
I couldn't even imagine telling my parents about Sean. I couldn't even talk to them about university, or my friends, so there was no question of mentioning him to them. Even if I would've loved him, I would've hesitated. My parents were quite old-fashioned and conservative. Even though they'd lived in the UK for the past 25 years. They were still conservative Indians at heart.  
I sighed, knowing this was not something I could change on my own. But still, I felt sad. I loved them, I did, but I couldn't talk to them. There was no transparency in our relationship.  
I pushed those thoughts away, and got out of bed. It was 8 in the morning. College would start at 9 as usual, and my first lecture was theoretics of photography.

I stomped off the tube and walked up the stairs to uni. It was raining. Again. Don't get me wrong, I loved the rain, but I was pissed off today because I hadn't brought my umbrella. I knew I was going to get wet now. I reached the escalators only to see my friend, Zen. He was holding a huge umbrella in his hand.  
''Hey, Zen,'' I said casually, eyeing his umbrella. God, he knew me.  
''Hey. Knew you would forget.'' He rolled his eyes.  
''Thanks.''  
We walked up together to London University in silence. Zen knew that I liked the quiet, that I wasn't talkative. Even though he was the craziest, he understood me on a Zen level. I felt comfortable with him.  
Lexie and Rob were waiting for us at the entrance, smiling happily at each other with goo-goo eyes. They were so in love. I was happy for them, but I had no idea. I had never been in love.  
''Hey!'' Lexie chirped, giving me a hug, dripping wet as she was. ''The rain is so romantic and beautiful, isn't it?''  
I rolled my eyes at Rob. He knew I was exactly the opposite of Lex.  
''Not really,'' I mumbled, ''I'm just a bit low today.''  
''Okay,'' she seemed to process my mood. Rob looked at me questioningly.  
''I'll tell you later, okay?'' I said finally while they stared at me. They thawed, and we walked up to class. Rob split to go to his lecture, Physical Chemistry, while the rest of us entered Theoretic Photography. The lecture whizzed by, with the teach making us split into groups. Thankfully, I was not in Lex's or Zen's group, and they had no chance to ask me what had gone wrong. I didn't want to tell them right now. If I talked about it, I would bawl my eyes out. Not good.  
English was quick; I managed to avoid Sean the whole time. I could feel his stare burning holes into me. I tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. I walked up to History only to be stopped by him.  
''Avoiding me?'' he asked with a sneer on his face. He was always unpleasant to deal with whenever he didn't get his way.  
''No,'' I said curtly. ''Someone's overreacting.'' I sat down in my seat quickly, unsettled by Sean's reaction. He had no idea how bad my family could get. I'd warned him countless times, but he just refused to listen to me!  
I concentrated on my text book, reading a passage on the war between Churchill and Hitler. I furiously wrote notes as fast as Mr Stark delivered them, my brain and hand working equally fast in opposite directions. Sean was starting to get too close. I didn't want to let him in. I didn't even love him. He was clingy and desperate. Too much.  
It felt as if History got over too soon. I sighed, preparing myself for Sean's wrath as I stood up and strode out as the lunch bell rang. He followed.  
''Talk to me,'' he demanded furiously. ''What the hell was that all about yesterday?''  
''Calm down, Sean,'' I said quietly.  
''I will not calm down!'' he shouted. ''You just don't give a shit! Do you even have a heart in there? You're never worried, or scared, or angry, for that matter!''  
''Sean!'' Zen screeched from behind me. ''Stop. It. Get. Your. Hand. The. Fuck. Off. Anya.'' He glowered at Sean. That was when I realized he had a tight grip on my arm. Painful.  
Sean slowly unwrapped his rough fingers from my upper arm and said, ''Protective, much?'' before walking away. I stared at him.  
''Hey, you okay?'' Zen asked me lightly.  
''Yeah,'' I nodded. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I told him about last night as we walked to the diner.  
''Wow,'' he said once I was done. ''Sean is such a dick.''  
''He's mistaken, too,'' I said glumly. ''He thinks you and I have something.''  
''But we don't. I'm here to protect you till your guy comes along and sweeps you off your feet. Then, my job's done!''  
''Zenith,'' I mumbled. He was always like this. Talking about me falling in love. I wondered if I ever would. I had so many self-esteem issues and problems in talking to others, I highly doubted anyone would be interested in me. I was chronically shy.  
As Tanya met with the rest of us for lunch, I felt relaxed again. Zen didn't bring it up again, and for that I was glad. I didn't want anyone to know. But I knew he wanted to talk to me about this. It was only a matter of time before he voiced his opinion.

Zen and I were alone at my flat. He'd dropped me with his bike, and come up for some tea. As I handed him a cup, his abstract moment came.  
''You know what I think?'' he asked suddenly, his dark blue eyes snapping up.  
''About what?'' I asked back wryly.  
''Sean and today's debacle,'' he answered dryly with a hint of sarcasm.  
''I don't know, Zen. I can't read your mind, no matter what Sean thinks.''  
He laughed along with me. But then, he was serious. ''Anya, he's wrong for you. You know that. He doesn't give a fuck about you. All he cares about is the physical stuff. He doesn't know who you are. He doesn't understand what an incredible girl he has. He's an idiot.''  
I smiled. ''I didn't know you felt like that.''  
He snorted. ''Should've been obvious. I'm going to say something you're not going to like at all.''  
''Go ahead,'' I said.  
He took a deep breath. ''You should end things with Sean. He's not the guy for you, Anya. You deserve someone who can love you, appreciate you for who you are, respect your silence, and actually listen to what you have to say. I really think that. Make room for someone like that in you life' Anya.  
''No matter what Sean says, I do not mean me,'' he cleared. ''I'm just a concerned friend.''  
''Of course. I know that.''  
''Just think about what I said.''

I did think about what Zen said. He was right. He was so right. Sean did nothing but hurt me. This was just physical. He didn't know me. He didn't know the person inside. I deserved better.  
I made a decision.  
I was going to end it with Sean.


	4. 2. It's Over

Zayn's POV

''Come on, Zayn, we gotta go,'' Harry gently said from the door. I sighed, breaking my stillness. I was feeling low for the past month. It was beginning to become too much. I couldn't blame Harry for that now, could I?  
I got up and slung my handbag across my shoulder. Harry gazed at me sadly. He felt it, too, then. The tiredness. All the travelling. Being away from home.  
I didn't even know where home was anymore. Bradford didn't seem like it; London didn't feel like it. And the situation with my parents was a bit too much. God, the guilt was eating me alive. I loved them so much, but it was hard with everything I had going on. I was hardly ever in the country.  
I was sick of all the touring. It was torturous. I was fine on stage, or at events, but once all that was done, I was quite the opposite. I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to party, I didn't want to joke around with my bestest friends in the whole wide world. I had lost all purpose in life.  
I didn't know what the future held for me. I didn't have any idea what was coming. I didn't know when, or if, the touring would end, and I didn't have a clue as to how to get out of this sinking feeling I had.  
Sleep evaded me the entire plane ride. Usually, I found it pretty easy to fall into a deep slumber, but these days, it had become quite a task. I knew the guys were worried about me, but I couldn't feel better no matter how hard I tried.  
We finally landed in Paris, and I got off the plane hurriedly. I needed some fresh air. The fans were screaming as always, but I felt numb to it all. I needed to rest a bit. This whole promoting 'Midnight Memories' was just way too much.

''Zayn! Come here!'' Louis bellowed through the walls of the other room.  
''Coming!'' I shouted right back, swinging open the doors. There stood Simon.  
''What is this I'm hearing about you, Zayn?'' he asked calmly.  
Liam stood up for me. ''Uncle Simon, I think you shouldn't blame Zayn for this. We're all sick of all this nomadic living.''  
''Well, talk to me,'' he asserted, surprising me. ''I'm on your side. I'm here to help you, not to hurt you.''  
''When's the tour going to end?'' Niall asked, off the ball.  
''Just a few more days now.''  
''What?'' Larry Stylinson had their moment.  
Simon nodded. ''You guys.....you're tired of this. I get it. I live the nomadic life, too. Not everyone can handle it. I know it's hard. I really think we should just end it here. I've been really thinking for a while about this, as Paul and I have already talked. I don't want to push you to your breaking point. This is what's going to happen : you're going home in less than a week.''  
Smiles lit up across the room. I felt myself tugging a smile at the corner of my mouth as well.  
Decisions to make, though. Would I go back to Bradford?  
The answer was no, as I discovered a couple days later. I called home before the last concert we were going to have for a while, and told them about the news. They were not happy. They were freaking pissed. Now they didn't want to see me. Why did they always want to see me when I couldn't see them?  
I was in a bad mood for a while. Nothing like my cheery band mates to cheer me up, though. After a long time, I genuinely had fun with them, during and after the concert. We had a good time, and soon it was over.  
We landed in London the next midnight, and slumped off to our flats in the off-centre building. It wasn't until next morning that I realized I was going to be alone in London for a week.

Anya's POV

''So, what are you going to do?'' Rob asked.  
''End it,'' I whispered. ''Don't tell anyone yet. I don't know if he's going to just listen. He might put up a fight.''  
''You can do it, Anya,'' he said. ''You're the strongest person I know.''  
''Thanks.''  
''But Sean is stubborn,'' he reasoned, ''so I do see where you're coming from.''  
''Let's see how it goes. I'll let you know, 'kay?''  
He nodded as I stepped away from him, to do what I'd been trying to for the past week. No doubt, he was thinking about Lexie.  
Sean appeared as if magic. Speak of the devil.  
''Okay, what did you want to talk about?'' he asked hastily.  
''Sean,'' I breathed, ''I don't think I can do this anymore.''  
''What do you mean?'' he said.  
''I mean, we should end this. Us. I don't even know if there is an 'us'.''  
''What?'' Clearly, he was shocked.  
''You aren't right for me. I'm not right for you. I don't want to hurt myself, or you. I think it's best if we stop before someone gets seriously hurt.'' I tried to feel level-headed.  
''You're breaking up with me?'' he screeched. People stopped to stare at him.  
''Yes,'' I nodded. ''I want to be away from you. You make me feel caged.'' I went with the truth.  
''How can you break up with me?'' he shouted. ''How dare you?''  
He was up in my face. ''It's over,'' I said, before turning on my heel and walking away.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before the word had flamed through the entire freaking university. Thousands of students now knew. Shit.  
Of course, Lex, Tanya and Zen found out, too. They demanded I throw a party. I gave in, but reluctantly. My friends were kinda crazy. Maybe Rob, not too much. But the rest of them, hell yeah. Cra-zy.  
We all went out to one of the hottest clubs in town, VVIP. Of course, I spent on a lot of drinks. I myself wasn't an avid drinker, though I did fancy a beer or two once in a while. I wasn't much of a dancer, either, and whenever we went out together, which was hardly ever, I felt responsible for taking care of everyone. Especially Zen.  
This night was not very different. Again, I felt like an older sister. I tried to keep everyone in check, which as usual, didn't work as much as I would've liked it to. Lexie and Rob were heatedly making out on the bar counter, making the manager kick us out. We stumbled outside quickly.  
''You guys......,'' Tanya slurred.  
Lexie giggled. ''Sorry.''  
''Can't help myself sometimes,'' Rob mumbled.  
Zenith looked like he was about to crash right there on the footpath. I rolled my eyes, knowing these people were never going to change.  
As Lexie, Rob and Tanya's building came, they bade Zen and I goodnight rather drunkenly. When they were gone, I realized Zen was going to fall down any second. I quickly hailed a taxi, pulling him into it.  
''You take such good care of me,'' he said nearly unintelligibly.  
I nodded simply, knowing he was going to wake up with a humongous hangover the next day. He probably wouldn't remember any of this.  
As the taxi pulled up to his house, I told the driver to wait there as I helpled Zen to the door. He gave me the key because he knew he wouldn't be able to open the door, and I swung it open. He crashed on the sofa almost immediately, his body curling up.  
''I really hope you find someone, Anya,'' he mumbled. ''He's going to be the luckiest guy in the world.''  
''Thanks. Sleep now,'' I whispered before locking the door. I went home, paying the driver a huge tip before walking up to my flat. There lay a note by Sean at the door.  
'It's not over until I say it is.'


	5. 3. You Never Know

Zayn's POV

 

I spent my whole week alone brooding. Paul often stuck his head in (more than once every waking hour), but found me silently staring off into space or my phone. The only kind of communication I had was with my band mates, anyways. But still, some small, silly little part of me hoped my parents would call.  
They didn't.  
I waited for four days, but nothing. So I finally punched the number in. Doniya answered.  
''Zayn,'' she whispered silently. ''It's Don.''  
''I know,'' I rolled my eyes absently. ''What are you doing home and why are you whispering?''  
''God, Zayn. Things are bad here. I knew they were pretty upset with you - Mum and Dad, I mean. But it's a hundred times worse than I'd previously imagined.''  
I felt worse. ''What now?''  
''They're like, being tyrants,'' she emphasised. ''They don't want Waliyah, Safaa nor me to talk to you, either. The silent treatment or something like that.''  
I didn't say anything. She went on.  
''Hopefully, they'll calm down in a few. But till then, I'm worried. I love ya, Zaynie.''  
''I love ya too, Don,'' I mumbled. She could tell I was sad.  
''It's going to be okay,'' she said. ''Just give them some time. Remember, I'm on your side.''  
''I know.'' I swallowed a lump forming in my throat. ''Thanks.''  
''Yep. I gotta go now, Z.''  
''Hmmm. Bye.''  
''Bye.''  
I cut the call, wondering if things could get any worse. What I didn't know was that my life was about change forever, for the better.

Things got a whole lot worse before they got better. Suddenly, my grief overpowered me, and the tears started to fall. Paul poked his head in. I looked at him with glassy eyes. I could see the pain shooting across his face. He was hurting, too, but there was nothing I could do. I needed to be saved. I needed a saviour. Paul wasn't it. But he was there to help me.  
Neither Paul nor I were huggers, but that evening, we hugged. He let me cry this once, and I didn't try to hold back, either. I hoped what Li said was true : that I would feel better once I'd cried. Let it all out.  
I felt a remote amount of peace that night. Like things would be okay now. I still had a lot to think about, but now I believed I would survive it. A big ask, but nevertheless, possible.  
I needed to clear my head; get some perspective. I wanted to go for a walk, just like a normal person would. I knew Paul would object, and he was quite right. It was extremely risky.  
''Paul?'' I called him, slipping my jacket on ad grabbing my phone.  
''Yes, Zayn,'' he answered.  
''What part of London would be a good place to go for a walk?'' I asked tentatively.  
''Why?'' Then he realized. ''Um, Zayn, that might not be such a good idea.''  
''I need this, Paul,'' I said wearily.  
''I know,'' he nodded. ''Just be careful, you hear?''  
I smiled faintly. He was like a dad. ''Yes, sir,'' I muttered.  
''The Eastern area is probably your best bet.''  
''Thanks, Paul.'' I turned around, hoping that tonight I would find some answers to the questions that plagued my being.  
It seemed odd, to be walking on dark London streets without anybody noticing me. I realized there was not enough light for anyone to make out my face. Good. It felt good. Great, actually. Just went to show how much the little things mattered.  
I knew the area not very well, but well enough to get back without getting lost. I was not going to go down unknown lanes anyways.  
A teenage girl who looked too young to be out alone at this hour passed me. I tried to act normal, but I was badly out of practice.  
''Oh my God, it's Zayn Malik!'' she screamed, loud enough for the whole street to hear. I loved the fans, I did, but this was a little too much right now. I gave her a fake smile before she squealed again.  
''Can I have your autograph?''  
''Sure.''  
I quickly scribbled my signature. Too late. I turned around to see a throng of people and photographers jogging up to me. I started running in the opposite direction.  
Being in such a flurry, I didn't bother with where I was going or with the possibility of getting lost. I ran down a small dark road, right to the corner, but there were lights ahead. Damn, I couldn't go there.  
I saw an open door right next to me at the corner, and the loud screams coming from behind made the decision for me. I walked in and shut the door behind me, running up the stairs a floor and hiding in the corner. I hoped no one would see me.  
The screams got closer and closer, and they seemed as if they would never end. I held my breath as they slowly died down, and dared a peek. They were gone. Phew.  
I straightened out of my position, stretching. I realized I'd been standing there in a crouched position for the past thirty minutes.  
I flipped my phone open. Shit, the battery had died out. I had a smartphone and had forgotten to turn the battery saver on.  
Just then, the door behind me opened. I froze for a second, just hoping that whoever this was wouldn't scream in my face. I turned slowly, only to see a beautiful girl standing in the doorway. She was wearing tracks and a simple t-shirt. Her hair was tied to the side in a loose ponytail and it hung off her shoulder in its brown curly waves. She looked at me with her light brown eyes in a way that made my bones go spongy. Like I was just Zayn, no longer Zayn Malik from One Direction. I found my lips curling up into a smile.

Anya's POV

I had been staring at the note from Sean for an hour when a loud screaming from outside interrupted me. I realized my eyes had glassed over. I crumpled the note up and threw it into the bin. Sean was just empty threats most of the time. He was just trying to scare me. I tried to convince myself of that. I slipped my aching feet out of my three-inch heels and got a bath going. I cleaned up my face, getting the make-up off. Taking my dress off, I stepped into the tub, enjoying the warm water on this cool night. Once I was done, I pulled the plug and watched the water flow out. It made me think of how my relationship with my parents had slowly washed away.  
I pushed those thoughts away and changed into comfortable sweats. I pulled my hair into a ponytail.  
I absently realized that this whole time, there had been people screaming nearby. Now the noise was dying out. I walked to my main door, pushing my ear against it. I heard nothing. I pulled the front door open. There stood in front of me, a tall, lean guy in faded skinny blue jeans and a thin leather jacket. His hair was rather dark - black almost. He had his back to me. Slowly, he turned. He had dark hazel eyes that studied me warily. His skin was caramel-coloured, just like mine. He smiled at me.  
He was Zayn Malik.


	6. 4. Unexpected

Anya's POV

''Um, hi,'' he said shyly, looking at me. I stared. ''I'm Zayn.''  
I took a deep breath to settle myself. ''I know. I'm Anya.''  
Suddenly, the door to the building opened. I quickly pulled him inside and shut the door behind me. Neither of us was breathing.  
I relaxed when I heard the door of the flat above mine close.  
''That was a close one,'' he said quietly. I nodded. ''It's okay if you're shocked.'' He was referring to the fact that he was not expected to be walking around London alone.  
''I am,'' I replied. ''But you're human, too. You don't deserve to have to hide every time the paparazzi come looking.''  
''Wow,'' he blinked. He opened his mouth to say something, but a shrieking coming from my far window interrupted him. ''This is never going to end, is it?'' he groaned.  
I smiled. ''Not really.'' I walked over to the window and peered down, and what I saw was quite a shock. There were literally hundreds of people standing at Shoreditch square. My eyes widened automatically.  
''Crazy, isn't it?'' he breathed from behind me.  
''Yeah,'' I shrugged. ''I guess you're stuck here for a while. If you want to stay, that is.''  
''I would. I hope I'm not imposing.'' He sounded hopeful.  
''Not at all,'' I said, turning. He exulted into a wide smile. ''Grab a seat.'' I pointed towards the sofa.  
No matter how calm or collected I appeared, I was freaking out inside. Zayn Malik was standing in my living room. THE Zayn Malik.  
I walked to the kitchen. ''Can I make you anything? A beverage, maybe?''  
He walked to the counter. ''Whatever you like.''  
I blushed. ''Hot chocolate?''  
''Sure.'' He sat down in one of the wooden stools that always lay there because I never bothered to put them away. I tried to focus.  
''Might I ask you something?'' My curiosity was at breaking point.  
''Of course, beautiful,'' he drawled in that Bradford accent of his.  
I went red. He'd just called me beautiful. ''Why were you taking a walk in the street like a normal person? I don't mean to be rude or anything. I know you need perspective, too. But isn't it really risky?''  
''It is,'' he admitted. ''I've been having a bad time lately. I just needed to clear my head.''  
I nodded. ''I hope you found some answers.''  
''Not as many as I would've liked,'' he said solemnly, ''before my evening was rudely interrupted.''  
''I know everyone says this, but things will get better with time.'' I avoided his penetrating gaze as I poured hot milk into two cups.  
''I hope so.''  
It was silent as I handed him a cup. He continued to gaze at me. I twiddled with the handle of my mug.  
I finally asked, ''Why are you looking at me like that?'' I felt incredibly self-conscious.  
''I'm just trying to figure you out.''  
''Okay.'' I squared my shoulders. ''What would you like to know?''  
He chuckled. ''You seem quite not freaked out on seeing me here.''  
''I am freaked out,'' I insisted, ''on the inside. I'm usually a chronically shy person.''  
''Me, too!''  
''I know. I couldn't just let you stand there while my neighbour jumped on you, could I?''  
''What?'' His eyes widened.  
''She's a HUGE One Direction fan,'' I explained. ''And quite outgoing.''  
''Well, then, thank you for pulling me inside.''  
''Of course,'' I shrugged.  
He took a sip of the steaming hot chocolate. ''Nice,'' he commented.  
''Thanks.''  
We drank in silence. We were both comfortable with it.

Zayn's POV

As we both sipped our hot chocolate in silence, I had a strange, innate desire to tell Anya what was wrong. I felt like I could talk to her. I wanted to know everything about her.  
''Can I tell you something?'' I broke the silence after more that ten minutes.  
''Of course.'' She looked at me with those delicate almond-shaped orbs of hers.  
''I don't know why I'm doing this. I feel sad and empty inside. I don't like my life anymore. I need to feel better. But I can't, and I end up hurting all of my loved ones. My family and I had a huge falling out. I have no idea who I am anymore.'' The words spilled out. I controlled myself from dissolving into a puddle of tears.  
She looked at me with empathy and compassion. ''It's going to be okay,'' she whispered. ''You have an amazing talent, Zayn. Your voice is something that happens once in a million years. Be proud of that. As of your parents, they will come around, hopefully.'' Her voice broke at the end.  
''Hey, what's wrong?'' I asked immediately, feeling concern.  
''Just....things with my parents......'' she trailed off.  
''What happened?''  
''They've always resented the decisions I made in life. I'm an Indian by heredite, you see, and they're pretty conservative. They didn't support my decision to move to London or to study photography. I don't know what to do.'' Her sadness was imminent.  
I couldn't resist the impulse I had to hold her hand gently. She accepted.  
''Hey, look at me,'' I coaxed. She lifted her head to meet my eyes with a glassy look. ''It's going to be okay.'' I didn't believe my own words, but I couldn't do anything else.  
She nodded. ''Sorry.''  
''It's fine.'' I didn't want to remove my hand, and she didn't object. Her skin was soft, her fingertips warm to me. She had long nails which were painted blue. Her hand was delicate and feminine. SHE was delicate and feminine.  
She sighed, pulling me from my thoughts.  
''Yes?'' I asked.  
''We're so similar.''  
Just a simple statement made my heart thud. ''We are, aren't we? I'm glad to have met you.'' I meant every word.  
''Me, too,'' she blushed. I stared like an imbecile. The colour of her cheeks got more pronounced.  
''Am I keeping you up?''  
''Not at all. I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway.''  
That reminded me of Paul. Shit. I'd forgotten to call him. ''May I borrow your phone?''  
''Of course.'' She pulled her home phone from the console sitting on the counter. ''Here you go.''  
''Thanks.'' I dialled Paul's number. He answered on the first ring.  
''Zayn, where are you?'' He was freaked out. ''I've been trying to reach you for the past hour!''  
''Calm down, Paul.'' I rolled my eyes absently. ''I'm fine. My phone died.''  
''Where are you?'' he repeated.  
''I'm safe. I met a girl who didn't scream in my face. She saved me.''  
Paul whooshed a huge sigh of relief. ''Who is she?''  
I felt self-conscious. ''Can I talk to you about that once I get home?''  
He seemed to hear the double meaning in my words. ''Sure. Are you coming now? You're going to have to leave soon, Zayn,'' he warned. ''It will be light in an hour.''  
I flickered a glance at my watch. It was already 5 am?  
''Are you listening?'' he taunted.  
''Yes. I'm coming.''  
I cut the call, hooking it back to the module.  
''I'm guessing you have to leave now?'' Anya said gently, appearing from the other room, which I guessed was the bedroom.  
''I do,'' I frowned.  
She laughed. ''That's okay. I enjoyed my time with you.''  
''I did, too,'' I said sincerely. I turned around, stopping at the door. ''Your neighbour won't jump me, right?''  
She laughed again, the high-pitched sound of pealing bells. ''No. She never wakes up before noon.''  
I laughed, too. ''Neither do I, most of the time.''  
''Be safe.''  
''You, too. Can I have your number?''  
''Sure.'' She found a notepad on her teapoy and scribbled it down.  
''I'll call you,'' I promised.  
''I'm counting on it,'' she said faintly, her cheeks flushed.  
''Bye, Anya.''  
''Bye, Zayn.''


	7. 5. Thinking About You

Zayn's POV

I walked home in a daze. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was so beautiful. She was honest. She was shy. She had shocked me. She understood me.  
That swept a wave of joy in me. ''She understands,'' I whispered to myself, smiling. I'd been at the lowest point of my life. She'd saved me, in more ways than one.  
The streets were still dark. I couldn't quite make the oncoming light scare or intimidate me into walking faster. I wanted to savour this moment alone. Maybe fate, destiny and all the hokey stuff made some sense after all. After all, hadn't it been a mere chance I'd met her? That I'd been walking down a dark East London street in the middle of the night? That I'd run up to that particular building? That she'd opened her door in that instant? That she'd pulled me inside?  
I'd liked that. Her arm on mine, pulling me inside her flat and then shutting the door behind her to save me from getting jumped on by a vocal Directioner. Even though it had only lasted a second or two, I had liked it. And then later, when we'd talked about her parents, I'd held her hand. She'd held back.  
I felt a connection to Anya I could not explain. It still lingered in my mind; the sense of correctness. We had talked as if we had known each other all our lives. She had talked to me like I wasn't a super famous guy. That had felt nice. It had been amazing.  
I got home quickly, even though I had not rushed. I found Paul sprawled out on the couch. Of course he had been waiting for me. I could tell he was worried even in his sleep. Well, all five of us made life pretty damn hard for him. He handled everything well. I had to give him credit for that.  
I shook Paul's shoulder, and he woke instantly. Like he always did.  
''Zayn? You're back.''  
''Yep.''  
''So who was this girl?'' he asked curiously.  
''Her name's Anya. She's awesome,'' I smiled dreamily.  
He seemed to bite back his natural response. ''I'm glad you're okay.''  
''I wouldn't have been, if it wasn't for her.''  
''What happened?''  
I narrated the story of how Anya and I met to Paul. He listened quietly.  
''Well, then I'm glad. Say thanks to her for me,'' he said, eyeing the piece of paper I had clutched in my hand. It was Anya's phone number.  
''I will,'' I promised.  
''Now go get some sleep.'' His voice was authoritative again, but we were tough sometimes. He was such an anxious guy!  
''Yeah. I'm going.'' I turned and headed up the stairs. My room no longer looked gloomy to my now enlightened eyes. I crashed without bothering to change, and realized for the first time that night just how tired I was. I saw her face. I smiled absently.

''ZayniePoo! Wake up!'' I could feel my bed bouncing up and down. I wearily opened my eyes. They stayed open with shock.  
''Hey!'' Niall said.  
''Yo!'' Louis screamed.  
''I missed you,'' Liam said, hugging me. I was too shocked to hug back. Harry hugged both of us, making the three of us topple over.  
I laughed. I hadn't realized how much I'd actually missed these guys. ''What are you guys doing here?''  
''We came back early. Surprise!'' Niall boomed.  
''Aw, thanks, guys!'' I said genuinely. ''Though I'm fine now.''  
''Oh yeah, who's that girl you met? Anya something?'' Liam asked, curious.  
''Anya Singh,'' I murmured, narrowing my eyes. Paul.  
''So what happened?'' all of them questioned in synchronization.  
I chuckled. ''She really helped me.'' I re-narrated the story.  
''Wow,'' Harry blinked.  
''Was not expecting that.'' Louis seemed dazed, too.  
''Me, neither,'' Niall breathed.  
''Nope,'' Liam murmured.  
''What?'' I said.  
''Someone who gets it,'' Niall answered. ''Not expected.''  
''That's what I thought,'' I agreed. The guys seemed to give each other wary looks now. I felt self-conscious. ''What?''  
''Nothing,'' they said in unison.  
I narrowed my eyes and stared at them.  
''Why don't you call her?'' Harry averted, handing me my phone.  
''Um, I don't really want to disturb her,'' I said tentatively. ''She might be sleeping.''  
''Late night, huh?'' Louis taunted.  
''It wasn't like that,'' I snapped. ''Just imagine what would've happened if not for her.''  
''That's why you should call her. Say thank you,'' Liam gentled.  
Niall seemed to agree. He nodded encouragingly.  
''Fine. I'll leave a message on her home phone.'' I got up, meeting Paul in the doorway as he appeared.  
''I was hoping the boys didn't disturb you,'' Paul frowned.  
''Boys?'' Harry objected.  
''We're men,'' Louis snorted.  
''Hardly.'' Paul was quick on that one.  
''It's fine,'' I shrugged it off. ''Listen, give me that number I called you from.''  
''Ooooohhhh,'' Louis and Niall cooed.  
''Shut up,'' I muttered under my breath.  
They pretended to cough as Paul gave me his phone. I typed the number in and waited for it to ring.  
''Hi, you've reached Anya!'' her voice exulted. ''I'm probably not answering because I'm not home, or I just don't feel like talking. Anyhoo, leave a message or ring my cell.''  
The beep sounded. ''Hi, it's me, Zayn. Just wanted to say thanks again for yesterday. I would like to meet again if you don't mind. I hope I didn't interrupt your sleep. I know I kept you up all night. Get back to me when you can. This is my number. Bye.''

Anya's POV

I felt as if I was on top of the world. Like the Imagine Dragons song. The most amazing thing had been the way he was, in reality. The press would never understand this guy.  
I sighed, smiling dreamily at myself. I was running out of words to describe him, repeating myself over and over again in my head.  
''Heelllloooooooooooooooo!'' Zen screamed from the door. ''Open the door!''  
I cringed. So loud. ''Coming!''  
I headed to the door only to see Zen, Lex and Rob.  
''Hey!'' Lexie chirped, giving me a light hug.  
''What are you guys doing here?'' I accused.  
''Just wanted to hang today!'' Zen was hyper.  
''I wonder whose idea that was,'' I muttered, looking at Rob.  
''Sorry,'' he shrugged. ''But there's no way in hell we're leaving you alone while Sean's on the hunt.''  
''He's just empty threats,'' I grumbled. I didn't mention anything about the note I'd found. I didn't want an inquisition.  
For the first time that day, I wanted to crash. I was worn out. I wanted to close my eyes and dream about the guy I'd met last night. ''Guys, I'm gonna crash,'' I said sullenly, walking to my bedroom. ''Make yourselves comfortable.''  
Unexpectedly, sleep found me as soon as my head hit the pillow.

''Wake up,'' a voice said close to my ear. It made me smile. But it was just my imagination. I opened my eyes to a now tired Zen. I frowned.  
''What?'' I asked.  
''You have a very intriguing message on your home phone, Anya.''  
''What?!'' My eyes widened. My throat went dry. ''Sean?'' I squeaked out.  
''No.'' He shook his head. ''It's apparently from a guy called Zayn.''  
My pulse hammered in my ears. ''Oh God.''  
He eyed me speculatively. I stood up and made my way to my landline. I played his message again. I smiled unknowingly.  
''Are you going to tell me or not?''  
''How about not?'' I suggested, averting his penetrating look.  
''At least tell me if that's the Zayn I think it is,'' he pleaded.  
I swallowed a lump in my throat. How would he feel if I told someone I'd met him? But I trusted Zenith. I felt like I was in a dilemma.  
''Is it?''  
I nodded.  
His eyes widened. ''Oh my God. How did that happen?''  
''Um.....'' I trailed off.  
He seemed hurt. ''Okay. You don't have to tell me.''  
''It's not like that,'' I said quickly. ''I'm worried about what will happen to him if I tell.''  
''You know I'm not going to tell anyone.''  
''I know,'' I sighed. ''Can I talk to him first, though?''  
He shrugged, trying to appear unaffected. I felt sorry.  
''Zen,'' I moaned.  
''I'm okay. I'm fine.''  
''Stop that.''  
''Call him.''  
''Fine.'' I dialled Zayn's number while Zen got up and walked outside. He didn't pick up, and not knowing what to say left me tongue-tied when his voicemail sounded.  
''Hi. You've reached Zayn. I'm probably not picking up because I'm working, or I just don't want to! Leave a message!''  
I cut the call, feeling like a schmuck.  
Zen shouted fron the doorway. ''I'm going home now. Let me know how it goes.''  
Before I could say anything, he was gone. Sighing to myself, I redialled Zayn's number.  
''Hi. It's Anya,'' I said softly. ''You're welcome for the help. Seriously, anytime. Like I said, I probably wasn't going to sleep anyways. So don't bey yourself up about that. And I would like to meet you again, too. Whenever you like. Call me.'' I smiled to myself, and resumed running the memories of last night through my mind.


	8. 6. Trust

Zayn's POV

Louis got to my phone before I could. I cursed silently under my breath as he hit play. All five of us listened to the message that was meant for only my ears. I couldn't help but visualize her face as she said these words. It made me happy.  
My band mates stared at me. They were astounded, to say the least. I felt self-conscious.  
''What?'' I defended.  
''Someone's smitten,'' Niall said under his breath, but I heard him say it anyway.  
''Oh, shut up.''  
''But he's right!'' Lou protested the same time Harry said, ''Oh, you shut up.''  
I widened my eyes.  
''Oh, don't look so shocked,'' Ni snapped.  
''Just admit it to yourself and make this easier on all of us,'' Lou breathed.  
''Yeah.'' This was Haz.  
''I think so, too,'' Liam agreed.  
''WHAT?!''  
''Don't fight it, will you?'' Boo seemed exasperated.  
''If she makes you feel good, she makes you feel good,'' Hazza reasoned.  
''And there's nothing wrong with that,'' Niall nodded.  
''You think so?'' I asked tentatively.  
''Mm-hmm,'' our sass master said sassily.  
That wasn't enough for me. I needed the opinion of the guy who was remotely sane amongst us. ''Liam?''  
He was sure of his take, though. ''I'm confident that she isn't going to flip on you. You've met someone who's already much appreciated in our eyes.''  
I felt emotional. ''Really?'' My voice sounded choked.  
The guys all gave me nods.  
''Wow.''  
''So won't you call her now?'' Harry said softly. Louis passed me my phone.  
''Yeah. Do listen,'' I scoffed, rolling my eyes.  
The guys shrugged, walking out. I knew they were pressing their ears up to the door from outside, though. They were never going to change.  
I dialled Anya's number, trying to settle myself. She picked up. My heart caught in my throat.  
''Hello?'' she said softly. ''Zayn?''  
''It's me. Uh, hi.'' I felt like such a goof!  
''Hi.''  
''Um,'' I stuttered, ''I would like to meet you. Would you like that?'' Damn, I was being formal.  
She seemed to hesitate. ''Sure. But where? My place? You can't really go on a park stroll.''  
''I'm fine with that. Are you?''  
''Why wouldn't I be?'' she asked, confused.  
I relaxed. ''Oh, come on,'' I chuckled. ''You just met me yesterday! How can you trust me so implicitly? You have no idea what my motive might be.''  
''What IS your motive?'' she teased.  
''Uhh...... Lemme think?''  
She laughed her high-pitched laugh. ''Sure! Tell me when you come over tonight.''  
''Tonight?''  
''Why not?'' She was in a good mood.  
''I'll be there. What time?''  
''How about around 9? I'm going out to dinner with friends before that.''  
''I didn't know college friends who went out for dinner returned before 9 on a Saturday night,'' I taunted.  
''Well, I do,'' she said brusquely. ''And we went out last night. I do not want a repeat of that!''  
I laughed. ''Okay. See you then. I can't wait.'' I grinned widely at myself.  
''Neither can I,'' she joked. ''Bye.''  
''Bye.''  
I was dreaming when Paul said from behind me, ''I suppose you're going out tonight.''  
''Yeah,'' I replied, turning.  
''Try not to get caught,'' he said wryly.  
''I'll try.'' I mirrored his tone. My heart leaped as I realized the reality of the situation. I was going to see Anya. Tonight.

Anya's POV

I frantically looked around my house. God, I was in such a mess today! Yesterday's clothes were still sprawled out on my chairs and sofas. Oh shit. I panickedly rushed to clean. I picked up everything, vacuumed my whole flat, and I even fluffed up the sofa pillows. I realized I'd gone a little overboard. And now I was sweating from my armpits.  
Great. Just freaking great. I was tense. On edge. I was going to need a shower. I quickly let the water run over my body, feeling the heat. My pulse slowed slowly.  
I dried myself with a towel and pulled on my favourite black skinny jeans and a simple v-neck turquoise top. I had only socks on my feet. I parted my hair on the left side, leaving it down. It flowed past my shoulders and rested in the region between my ribs and midriff. It was growing well. I loved long hair.  
I went to dinner with my study group for my history minor. It was around ten of us altogether. I didn't participate in the discussion much, but that was nothing unusual. Today, though, I was on edge. Time flew by as we had dinner. I forgot what I ate as soon as it was over. Soon, time was up.  
I got to my building at five minutes past nine. Zayn was waiting in the shadows. I spotted a nondescript tinted windows black sedan. No wonder.  
My heartbeat slowed, my breath evened out. His presence made me feel better.  
''Zayn,'' I whispered quietly in the still air. I quickly opened the door and slipped inside. He followed with precision in no time. He was so close to me in that moment I could feel his warmth radiate into my back.  
He didn't say anything as we walked up the stairs. Only when we were both safely inside my flat did he break the silence.  
''Anya.'' His voice shook.  
It scared me. ''Are you okay?''  
''There was a guy here.''  
''What?''  
''A guy came to your flat about ten minutes before you got here. He had blonde hair, kinda tall, looked demeaning. Do you know him?''  
I could barely hear with the ringing in my ears. Sean.  
''He was angry. He banged on your door a lot but then he left when he realized you weren't home. He was shouting about a note.''  
I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. This was never going to be over, was it?  
''Anya,'' Zayn gentled. ''What's the problem?''  
I tried to settle myself. Zayn looked at me with worry so easily readable on his face.  
''Anya. Tell me. Trust me.''  
That broke my silence. ''As odd as it may sound, I DO trust you, Zayn. But I don't think you want to know.''  
''Already?''  
''Yes.''  
''I want to know, Anya.'' His hazel eyes burned. ''Please.''  
''Okay,'' I caved. ''I'll tell you. Though you might want to sit down first.''  
He plopped down on a sofa chair. I sat in front of him. Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and started to recite the whole Sean story.  
''I moved to London for university. I live here since then. I met my friends in college. That was where I met Sean. That's the guy you saw today.  
''I found him very attractive, physically. He had quite an aura. He was compelling. He seemed to be interested in me, too. So we started a casual relationship. We were together,'' I frowned, ''for more than six months. It wasn't serious, though. I didn't want it to be, not with him.  
''He got antsy, overprotective. Acted like he owned me. I knew it was time to end it. So I did. But he threw a fit. He really dramatized the whole shebang.  
''Later, I found a note at my door.''  
''What note?'' he asked.  
I fetched the crumpled note from my bin and gave it to him. ''It's the worst cliche ever.''  
''This is serious, Anya. You need to go to the police for this.'' He looked up at me.  
''I can't,'' I said wearily.  
''Why?''  
''My parents. They'll find out.''  
''What's the problem with that?''  
I sighed. To answer this question, my whole past would have to be out in the open. With Zayn, I wasn't worried. I wanted him to know.


	9. 7. Just The Beginning

Zayn's POV

''You really want to know?'' she pursed her lips.  
I nodded, but then reconsidered. ''Only if you want to tell me.''  
''I don't mind telling you, Zayn,'' she said wistfully, ''but I really don't think you want to know this.''  
''It's up to you.'' I looked at her.  
''Fine. I'll tell you.''  
I relaxed into the couch as she got us both tall glasses of ice water. I watched as she gently took a sip, not moving towards my glass. She took a deep breath.  
''My parents......they're quite conservative.'' Her voice shook. ''They've been living in Harlow for half their lives, but they're not going to change. Ever. That's the thing.  
''I had a very mixed childhood. Everything at home was strictly Indian, but I was completely different outside. All my friends were Brits.  
''As I got older, I started to morph. I didn't want to have to hang around home in heavy ethnic costume every other day. Like, we have that many fests.'' She rolled her eyes. ''The outside world was much more to my liking and it still is.'' She wrinkled her nose. It made me want to pinch it. She was so cute.  
She went on. ''Things got bad. My family naturally expected that I would follow in their footsteps and be yet another conservative Indian. I couldn't do that. I couldn't BE that. It just wasn't me.  
''I had a real interest in photography throughout my teens. I knew that it would become my passion one day. So naturally, I wanted to study it. But there are no photography institutions in Harlow.  
''I heard about London University's new photography degree course launch around the end of secondary school. I made some research and decided that I wanted to study there and nowhere else. When I make a decision, you know, I always follow through on it.  
''That was the double-clincher with the family. They did not want me to leave Harlow, much less come to London. Plus, they thought photography was just too passe. It was not their choice, though. I'd rather be poor and happy with what I'm doing than be a sad doctor or engineer.''  
She stopped then, gazing at me gently. I absorbed her words at my own pace. It was a lot more than I'd thought I'd find out today. Was there really no reason as to why we both found it so easy to trust each other implicitly?  
''I don't really know what to say,'' I finally said.  
''You don't have to say anything.''  
''I do have a question, though,'' I pressed. ''What about the whole Sean thing?''  
''Oh, that.'' She gave a look of disgust. ''I've been trying to cover that up in front of my parents but Sean was trying the exact opposite.''  
''Well, did he not know of your past relationship with them?''  
''He did. He just never understood me.'' Her statements were a lament, and I felt sad. It was never easy to forgive and forget yourself for entering a relationship you knew was doomed from the start.  
I felt the need to comfort her.''It's going to be all right.''  
''I think so.'' Just like that, and Anya was back to normal.  
''Thanks for talking to me.''  
''Why wouldn't I?'' she quizzed, that teasing look back in her eyes.  
I shrugged. ''Well, it's not even been 24 hours since we met.''  
''Doesn't feel that way.''  
''It doesn't, does it?''  
''Nope. Now why don't you tell me something about you? I'm sick of listening to myself just blab on!''  
''Figures,'' I muttered. ''Ask away.''  
''Hmmmm........any progress at home?''  
''No. But I'm fine about it now. They'll come around,'' I repeated Doniya's words. Would help if I could actually believe them.  
''Looks like you've made your peace.'' She seemed pleasantly surprised.  
''I have. You know, I met this beautiful girl just the other day and she completely changed my perspective on everything,'' I teased.  
''Oh yeah? Who is she?'' she mocked.  
''She's just a somebody. I met her in the most unplatonic way possible, but she isn't very platonic either. So I guess we get along.''  
''Is that so?''  
''Mm-hmm! She's amazing.''  
Anya blushed.  
I pressed, ''I really mean that.''  
''Thank you.'' She was still looking down. ''But come to think of it - wasn't it mere chance we met?''  
''Or fate. The hokey stuff. I'm seriously doubting my practicalities.''  
She reciprocated my gaze. ''Oh, really?''  
''Really. Never thought I'd be saying this, but really.''  
She laughed. ''Wow. I did not expect you to be so practical.''  
''Well, I've been let down too many times by my inculcated beliefs. So, I've changed,'' I sighed. ''Keeps me from hurting myself.''  
''Self-preserving, much?''  
I became defensive. ''What does that mean?''  
She backed up. ''Just that you seemed pretty reckless to me.''  
''Reckless? Me?'' I laughed. ''That's like, the worst joke ever.''  
''How come? I mean, anybody would think you're reckless. Just look at yourself and all your tattoos.''  
''I didn't really get them for that reason,'' I admitted. ''It was a way of self-expression for shy old me.''  
''But the pain....''  
''Was easier to live with than all the other pains.''  
A flash of emotions touched her features. Here I was, confessing some of my deepest, darkest secrets!  
''What's wrong?'' I asked.  
''You're such a great person, Zayn. I don't seem to understand why people hurt you.''  
My heart curled in on itself. Anya's opinion mattered to me, I realized.  
''No one understood who I was,'' I replied after a long muse, ''for most of my life.''  
''Until One Direction,'' she suggested.  
''Until One Direction. I don't know what my life would've become if I'd never met them.''  
''I'm curious, though,'' she said. ''How do you guys manage everything and still be so.....crazy?'' There was a wild look in her eyes.  
''That's probably because of Louis.''  
She laughed. ''And what about you?''  
''I'm pretty insane, too. Just on the inside. Most of the time, anyways. Something about the guys makes my crazy persona come out.''  
''So did you tell them about how we met?''  
''Yeah. They were technically supposed to be out of town, but they came back early and surprised me. Paul had already told them''- I rolled my eyes -''and they were sooo curious.''  
''What did they say?''  
I realized that she was worried they didn't like the sound of her. ''They want to meet you, believe it or not.''  
''What?!''  
''Yeah. Beats me.''  
''Am I dreaming?'' she murmured softly. ''One Direction wants to meet me.''  
''You've already met one fifth of One Direction, twice,'' I retorted.  
''No offense,'' she said sheepishly. ''Do you understand how I feel? How would you feel if your biggest idols wanted to meet you?'' She threw me an incredulous look, trying to wrap her head around it.  
''We're your biggest idols?'' I smiled like an idiot.  
''Yes.''  
''Can I just say thank you for that?''  
She shrugged. ''I wasn't really idolizing you to help you, I was doing it to help myself. You have that something special.''  
''You're special,'' I blurted. She reddened. ''You do realize you blush a lot, right?''  
''I seem to, these days. My life just had a huge change.''  
''It did, huh? Mine, too.''  
She changed the topic, feeling unsure of herself. ''Why don't we talk about what One Direction is up to?''  
''Sure. We're taking a chill break at the moment.''  
''Chill break?'' she quipped.  
''I was really depressed when we were promoting 'Midnight Memories' on tour. The guys could see that, too. Paul finally called Simon and told him everything. He showed up and everyone was just plain tired of all the nomadic living. So, Simon decided to give us all a break. Though I guess we'll probably start working on our next album now.''  
''Yay!''  
''What 'yay'?''  
''New album!'' Her enthusiasm was immediate.  
''Not for a long time. Do you know how long it takes to compose an entire album?'' I said sternly.  
''A year?'' she joked. ''Oh, come on! This writing will be good for you.''  
''Hopefully.'' I felt the topic close.  
''Can I get you anything to drink? A beer, soft drink? Water?''  
''Whatever you're having,'' I grinned.  
Anya walked up to her kitchen which was separated from the dining by a solid counter. I followed and sat down on a stool. She handed me a beer while unscrewing one for herself.  
''So, I didn't know you liked beer so much,'' I said.  
She shrugged. ''Just the occasional drink is fine by me. I have friends who drop by whenever they want, so it's better to have alcohol around.''  
''I could say the same thing.''  
We both sipped on our beers and enjoyed each other's company. It was beginning to feel like one of the best things that had ever happened to me. Meeting Anya.


	10. 8. Others Don't Understand

Zayn's POV

''What time is it?'' I asked, lifting my head.  
''I don't know, honestly.'' Anya shifted and reached for the phone. ''It's late. Almost midnight.''  
''Wow, I should go. It IS late.''  
''Mmm.''  
I got off the couch and stretched. ''I honestly don't know how time can fly so fast. Only earlier today, I wanted time to rush me by.''  
''And why's that?'' Anya handed me my jacket.  
I put it on. ''I wanted to see you.''  
She blushed.  
''Oh come on, that's like, the tenth time you've blushed in the past three hours.''  
''Is it? Then maybe I should reconsider my wishes to see you again.'' She taunted me.  
That tensed me up. ''Don't do that.''  
''Can't. Would miss you too much,'' she mumbled.  
''Me, too.'' I turned to leave. ''When should we meet again?''  
''Whenever you want.''  
''When are you home?''  
She laughed. ''Tempting. I'm probably going to bunk college if you're going to make such remarks.''  
''What's your lecture timing?''  
''It's different every day. Plus, I do have to work on my photography. Nature, what not. It takes a lot to be inspired.''  
''I know.''  
''Yeah you do.''  
''Then tomorrow?'' I asked hopefully.  
''I don't really know,'' she shrugged. ''I do want to see you, but I'll probably have to work doggedly if I'm going to get a handful of good photos.''  
''I guess I'm taking up your time, huh?'' I leaned against the door.  
''Not really. I was taking a break from all those artistic ventures, anyway. Felt so drained.''  
''I'm on a sorta break, too.'' I gave her a lopsided grin.  
''Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll let you hang around while I snap away.''  
''Maybe,'' I mimicked, ''if you're lucky, I'll let you around while I write the next platinum hit.''  
''Tall order.''  
''Gonna try,'' I huffed. ''So call me?''  
''Yup.''  
''I don't want to leave, but I gotta,'' I confessed.  
''Same here.''  
We stood in the doorway. ''Bye.''  
''Bye.''  
I could feel her gaze on me as I stepped down the stairs and gave her a wave before walking out onto the street. The bodyguard sat there, bored.  
''That took a long time,'' he said.  
''No.'' It would never be enough.  
''Up to you. My job, anyways.''  
We drove home in silence. The guys were just waiting to pounce.  
''So, how did it go?'' Lou wagged his eyebrow at me.  
I rolled my eyes.  
''What were you doing for so long, I wonder?'' Haz questioned.  
''You were gone a while,'' Ni agreed. ''Anything naughty?''  
''Niall,'' Liam muttered.  
''No, nothing like that!'' I snapped. ''She's my FRIEND. Do you understand the meaning of that word?''  
''Ouch, defensive,'' Louis faked hurt.  
''Someone's bitten by the overprotective bug,'' Harry commented.  
''Don't forget the deny everything bug,'' Niall added.  
''Don't listen to them,'' Liam coaxed. He could tell I was angry.  
Then I thought about how Anya would feel if I got in a fight with my band mates over her. Not good thoughts at all.  
''You can say whatever you want.'' I took a deep breath. ''I don't care.'' I had to take the high road.  
''Geez, Zayn,'' Harry breathed, ''calm down. We were just saying that you like her.''  
''Yeah,'' Lou muttered.  
''Not in that way!'' I shot back.  
''Oh, don't fool yourself. You know it's definitely THAT way.'' This was Niall.  
''Oh, shut up. Leave me alone.'' I walked away and dumped myself on my bed. Li followed.  
''Zayn, don't pay attention to them,'' he said.  
''I'm trying,'' I muttered under my breath.  
''That's fine. But, really, are they wrong?''  
''What are you saying?'' I faced him. ''They're right?''  
''Well, maybe,'' he allowed.  
''I never thought I'd hear this from you.'' I dumped my face in a soft pillow.  
''Why are you so sensitive to the issue?''  
''It's been a long time since I've been influenced by someone so deeply. I care about her, already. She's important. But she's a friend.''  
''I'm glad you met her.'' Liam was wary. ''But the way you care.....it is so deep. Or it seems that way. That's why the guys are saying this. Don't be too bothered by it. They do have a point, though.''  
''I don't want to rush into anything. I won't risk Anya's friendship on a whim!''  
''She's too important.''  
I gave a small nod.  
''You know that sooner or later this friendship will morph....?''  
I answered diplomatically. ''We'll see where it goes. I can't stay away from her.''  
''You DO realize it's a good thing, right?'' He was incredulous.  
''I know.'' How could anything with her be bad? The concept was alien, impossible.  
''I'll let you sleep now.'' With that, Liam was gone. I closed my eyes and drifted with the night's conversation replaying in my ears.

Anya's POV

I slept soundly, a smile absently hinting on the edge of my mouth. When I awoke, it was morning and the weather was perfect. It was neither dreary nor too bright. The climate was rather cool, but that was just the way I liked it.  
I got to uni in bliss, but I knew better than to think THAT was going to last very long. I was right.  
''Where were you last night?'' Zen asked me as soon as I stepped out of the tube to see him.  
''What do you mean? At dinner with my History minor group.''  
''I mean after that!''  
''At home,'' I said, confused.  
''With who?'' he pressed.  
''Zayn Malik,'' I mumbled grudgingly.  
''WHAT?'' He shouted so loud everyone stopped to stare at him.  
''Don't make a scene,'' I hissed under my breath and pulled Zen by the arm. Once we were alone, I let myself release him.  
''Are you serious?'' he stage-whispered. ''I can't believe this!''  
''Why are you so shocked? I told you I met him!''  
''But you only met him two days ago! You're not the kind of person who just lets a practical stranger in your house!''  
''He's different.''  
''I can see that!''  
''Can we please not argue? You ruined my good mood.''  
His expression shifted, became awkward. ''Oh, you had fun, did you?''  
''Shut up,'' I muttered, rolling my eyes. ''It's not like that.''  
''Then what is it like?'' he taunted.  
''He's my friend, nothing else.''  
''Right now,'' he scoffed. ''You KNOW what's coming.''  
''Why are you torturing me like this?'' I moaned. ''Let me enjoy his presence without it having to 'Be A Thing'.''  
''Enjoy his presence?'' he quoted with wide eyes. ''Now I'm sure.''  
''Of what?''  
''I'm not going to say.'' He jut his chin out.  
''Fine. Then don't.'' I turned my head away.  
''Wait,'' he called out after me as I strode through uni. ''I'm sorry.''  
''Thought so,'' I said under my breath as he caught up with me.  
''Are you going to tell Lex, Rob and Tanya?''  
This was a good question. I had wanted to discuss this with Zayn yesterday, but we'd run out of time. I didn't want to invade his privacy, and even though I knew my friends would never cause trouble, I didn't want to do anything behind his back. I was not going to do anything before I discussed this with Zayn.  
''Hello?'' Zen waved a hand in front of my face.  
I snapped out of my reverie. ''I don't know yet. I need to talk to him about that.''  
''Need permission?'' he asked playfully.  
I smacked his arm lightly.  
''So when are you seeing him again?''  
''I don't know,'' I frowned. ''I'm falling behind on work.'' I referred to my assignments piling up because I'd lost inspiration a while back and stopped photographing for the moment.  
''That's no reason for blowing him off.''  
''But I won't be able to concentrate on work if he's just sitting there watching me,'' I stated the obvious. At least, it was to me.  
''Hmm. Though imagine how Lexie will react if and when you tell her.'' He suppressed a laugh.  
''She'll freak out.'' Lexie was a huge, squealing fan of One Direction. Ever since I'd known her, she owned all their merchandise, too. T-shirts, rings, bracelets, earrings, necklaces, sacks, you name it. And Lex was sort of hyper. That was an understatement.  
''Better not to think about it,'' he muttered.  
It made me realize how important it was that I talk to Zayn, and soon. Silly me had found an excuse to see Zayn again tonight.


	11. 9. Needful

Anya's POV

''Hello?'' Rob poked my shoulder.  
''Yes?'' I asked.  
''Where ARE you today? You just keep zoning out,'' he stated.  
''Sorry,'' I said sheepishly. ''I've got a lot on my mind.''  
''And I really don't need to know, right?''  
''Yeah. You don't,'' I breathed.  
It was lunchtime right now, and Rob, Zen and I were slumped on our chairs, waiting for Lexie and Tanya. I had been out of it all day. Mondays were horrible for me anyways, and I was starting to freak out today. I was beginning to think I was addicted to Zayn. Which made absolutely no sense.  
Just then, Lex showed. She walked with her usual bounce, but it was hard to smile at her radiance today.  
''Hey, guys,'' she said chirpily, giving Rob a sloppy kiss on the lips.  
''Ew,'' Zenith muttered.  
''I heard that,'' Rob warned in his tenor.  
I smiled a small smile. They were the only reason I'd shown up to college today.  
''So, what's up?'' she asked, sitting down.  
I thought of an excuse for my behaviour. ''I've been trying to photograph,'' I said sullenly. ''Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.''  
''Aww. It'll be okay.''  
''That's what I said,'' Zenith said quietly. I shot him a look saying thanks. I needed him to keep quiet.  
''Whatever,'' I muttered.  
The topic shifted as Tanya arrived after a laborious work in Maths. I listened to her talk about her struggle with solving Conics.  
''I'll teach you Conics,'' I offered. I found that topic pretty easy. Maths was like a pinky finger's work for me, but I usually got bored with it.  
''Aw, gee thanks,'' she gushed. ''How does tonight sound?''  
''Umm....'' I bought time.  
Zenith stepped in again. ''She's having a hard time with photographing these days. So I don't think she'll be able to concentrate.''  
I nodded.  
''Okay, sure. I don't have a test for at least a month, so that's fine.''  
I smiled. The rest of the day went by uneventfully, and it was not long before I was heading back home. I took my phone out and called Zayn once I'd seated myself in the eastbound Tube.  
He answered on the fourth ring. ''Hey, Anya?'' I could hear laughter around him. ''Just a minute.''  
I laughed.  
''Guys!'' he said. ''Seriously! You're scaring the poor girl! She's going to run away!''  
Once the noise had died down, I said, ''Wow.''  
''Yeah. They're crazy.''  
''THAT crazy?''  
''Yep. I warned you.''  
''You did,'' I smiled.  
''So, I'm guessing you called to tell me if we're going to meet tonight.''  
Butterflies arrived in my stomach. I tried to keep a level head. ''Um, yeah.''  
''Does that mean that we are seeing each other tonight or that you called me for that reason?'' he hinted.  
''Both,'' I grinned.  
He was playful. ''So when should I come over?''  
I responded in kind. ''Once it's dark enough out?''  
''Yeah. I guess.''  
''Hmmmm. Sounds good to me. I'll see you then, right?''  
''What's the rush? You sound kinda urgent. Not that I don't like it......'' he trailled off suggestively.  
''Um, we need to talk. I'd like to do it in person.''  
''Sure.'' He was serious. ''See you then.''  
''Yep. Bye.''  
''Bye.'' I hung up, getting off the Tube and walking up to Shoreditch. It wasn't very far, anyways and I hated waiting for the bus. It took fifteen minutes, tops.  
I went home and changed into more comfortable track pants and a sweatshirt to compensate for the coldness of my flat. I turned up the radiators and closed the windows. Suddenly, I caught myself looking at Shoreditch square at sunset. The sky was orange, nearing sunset. It illuminated the London skyline and lighted up the small park around the corner. I brought out my camera after a month or maybe even more, and propped myself a seat on the window sill. I took a few pictures with some different angles, taking inventory of my work. Only two photos from the ten I'd taken were remotely good.  
I sighed, watching the sky redden. I wondered how long it had been since I'd just sat and enjoyed such a simple and everyday occurence. The world was so beautiful.  
I knew why I'd reached this point. Why I'd found myself again. My creativity. It had all been because of Zayn.

Zayn's POV

''Let's go,'' I said to one of the body guards. He nodded and moved out of the parking lot at the house, and drove through London. The windows were tinted dark enough for no one to be able to see me from the outside. It felt safe, but trapping, too.  
We parked at the same spot as yesterday, and I hopped out as soon as the street was clear. Anya stood at the door on the other side. She'd been waiting for me. That made my heart swell up.  
Today she looked troubled. I could see it in her face. Her delicate eyes were lined with little eyeliner which made them jump out at me. Her curly locks were plaited behind her loosely, giving her fragile face a schoolgirl-like charm. Her lips were set in a smile.  
''Hey, Anya,'' I mouthed as she opened the door.  
''Hey. Let's go.'' She led the way, but I doubted I would forget this path ever. Once we were inside, she spoke. ''You look nice today.''  
I felt a smidge self-conscious. ''You think so, huh?'' I looked down at my blue jeans and black boots.  
''You look normal,'' she said oddly. ''But then again, you don't. See how that's confusing?''  
I laughed. ''So, how was your day?'' I took a seat on her couch.  
''Pretty good. I got some reasonable photos today.''  
I made a cherubic little-boy face. ''Can I see?''  
''Of course!'' She reached for her camera. ''Since you're the reason I felt inspired again, you deserve it.''  
''What?'' I asked, dazed and suprised.  
''You've really helped, you know?'' Her voice was full of emotion.  
''Thank you. You have no idea what you've done for me, either.''  
''You feel better?'' She was concerned.  
''I definitely do. Because of you.''  
She smiled her radiant smile and blushed. ''Take a look.'' She sat down beside me, close enough to make my heart thud just a little faster. Turning her camera on, she showed me her pictures. One was of the square visible through Anya's flat window at sunset and the other was of the London skyline at twilight as visible from the glass door behind us. My jaw seemed to drop unknowingly.  
''I had no idea you were this talented,'' I admitted softly, shocked. ''You should be published.''  
''You really think so?''  
Her voice made me look up. Her eyes had glassed over.  
''My opinion means that much?''  
She nodded.  
''You matter to me, Anya. I hope you know that.'' I paused. ''No matter we didn't know each other three days ago, no matter just how coincidental this is.''  
''Or kismet,'' she mumbled, quoting me.  
''Or kismet,'' I sighed. ''I don't know how the world works. Or if we have an upper force.'' I jabbed a finger upwards. ''But I know there's more to the story.''  
''The hokey stuff?''  
''The hokey stuff.''  
''So we were meant to meet?'' Her voice was still soft.  
''Maybe. I don't know,'' I said honestly. ''Whatever it is, I'm glad for it.''  
''Me, too.''  
I liked the fact that our feelings were mutual. Maybe I liked it too much.


	12. 10. Our Friends

Anya's POV

It was silent. No one would've believed two people were sitting in this room. Moreover, these two people weren't uncomfortable with the silence. The case was rather the opposite. They cherished the silence. Appraised its importance. Those two people were Zayn and me.  
I was naggingly reminded by my own brain why I'd said yes to meeting with Zayn tonight. Well, it had been just another excuse for doing what I wanted to.  
''You okay?'' Zayn asked gently, studying my face.  
Maybe my face showed my displeasure. Maybe he was good at reading me. ''We need to talk.''  
''What about?'' He was serious again.  
''Listen,'' I asserted, but I didn't need to, probably. He was already focussed on me. ''You're not a normal person. You're famous. So, that makes it very imperative to keep your coming here a secret. But, I'm really sorry about this. One of my friends found out that I met you.''  
''Who is this friend?'' He was calm.  
''He's a really good friend of mine. He didn't tell anyone, don't worry. He would never do that to me. But, I just wanted to tell you.  
''And I know this is unfair, but I don't want to hide things from my friends. So, I wanted to ask you if I could tell them. About you, I mean.''  
He smiled. ''You don't need to ask for my permission, Anya.''  
''I know,'' I said wryly, ''but I can't hurt you that way. I CAN'T.''  
''I'm glad. But, it's not my decision. It's yours. Do you want to tell your friends?''  
I pursed my lips. The way he asked threw me off. When he worded it that way, I had thinking to do. ''I don't really know. They're sort of insane.''  
''Hey, I know what you're saying,'' he chuckled.  
I gave him a lopsided grin. ''I know they would never bring danger to you unintentionally. If I do tell them, though, there will be problems for you.''  
''What problems?''  
''I have a humongous fan in the group. Quite the opposite of shy, too.''  
''I hope she doesn't kill me, then,'' he played. ''Though, do tell me about them.''  
''Okay.'' I squared my shoulders. ''There's Lexie - the humongous fan. She's studying photography, too.  
''Then there's Rob, her boyfriend. He's majoring in science on the biology side. I think he's going to be a doctor.  
''We have another science major - Tanya - though she's on the mathematical side of it. She's so chilled out, she doesn't even freak out before finals.  
''And last but not the least, there's Zenith. He's, in short, crazy. He's the one who knows about you.''  
He laughed. ''Sounds like they're too much to handle for you.''  
''Yeah. But they're mine, you know? Can't really not care for them. I feel like an older sister.''  
''You should meet Liam. Totally the same emotions.''  
''Is it okay if you saying that still feels unreal?'' I asked.  
He shrugged. ''So I'm not as exciting as the rest of One Direction, am I?''  
''No. I never said that! It's just that, all of this seems like a dream.''  
''Shall I pinch you then?''  
''No, let the dream last,'' I said.  
He got back to the point. ''They sound great, Anya. You should tell them. You say you're confident I'm in no mess.''  
''No. I am confident about that. But how....?''  
''How what? How are you going to tell them?'' he suggested.  
I nodded.  
''Let your friend Zenith do it?''  
''That's unfair to him, though. Whatever, I'll do it.''  
''You sure?''  
I stated the obvious. ''I can't really have you there for moral support, can I?''  
''But you at least have Zenith.''  
''True,'' I breathed. ''So how about your friends? How did they react?''  
''Pretty whack, actually. They seem to think that we're going to be an item,'' he confessed.  
''What! Seriously?''  
''Yeah!''  
''Sorta funny, that.''  
''That's what I said!''  
But neither of us was laughing.  
''Oh yeah,'' he said, ''they even think you're the big change in my life.''  
''Well, that's maybe true,'' I agreed. ''Though I do have to say, Zenith seems to think the same way.''  
''That we'll date?''  
''Mm-hmm.''  
''They're crazy,'' he stated.  
''Yep.''  
''Such a coincidence, don't you think? Both your friends and mine think the same thing?'' he mused.  
''Yeah. Guess we're more alike than we thought we were.''  
He nodded.  
''I might agree with you on the whole 'destiny' thing,'' I said. ''Maybe, you're right.''  
''Where did your practicalities go?'' His tone was somewhat incredulous.  
''You took them away and threw them in a dumpster.''  
''Haha,'' he mocked. ''Maybe I did.'' A smirk spread across his face.  
''You've changed me. For good, too.''  
''Even with my bad boy image?''  
''That's so fake. You, and a bad boy? Please,'' I sniggered. ''With your fear of water AND heights?''  
He laughed. ''Okay, maybe not.''  
''Believe it or not, you are a good guy, Zayn.''  
''Damn. I liked the bad boy image better.''  
I rolled my eyes.  
''Makes it easier to keep my secrets my own. I don't have to explain myself if people are too intimidated by me to ask.''  
''That one doesn't work for me. I'm just, like, the opposite of intimidating.''  
''I can see that,'' he nodded. ''You're so fragile, Anya. No one would be afraid of your face, or you, in general. You're the definition of delicate. Anyone who looked at you would want to protect you.''  
I looked down.  
''And you blush a lot,'' he continued. ''You're shy, and soft spoken. A true, real woman.''  
My cheeks turned pink. I couldn't help it. Zayn seemed to evoke that kind of reaction in me.  
''You're so beautiful.''  
My heart seemed to swell up in my chest. My throat felt closed off. Moisture brimmed in my eyes.  
''Hey, don't cry.'' His voice broke.  
''I'm crying because I'm happy,'' I sniffled. ''What you just said means the world.''  
''I'm glad. Now, wipe those tears.''  
I wiped my cheeks with a hand. He took it in his. His touch made everything better; my hand felt hotter than the rest of my body, too. His skin was cool but warm, soft but firm. His grip was gentle.  
We looked into each other eyes. His hazel orbs seemed to say a lot more than his lips had. I was lost in them. The whole world stopped spinning for me in that moment. In that moment, there was nothing else. Just Zayn and me. Nothing else at all. The world ceased to exist.  
A loud ringing brought the world back into existence. Zayn released my hand. It was then I realized that it was my phone. I stood up, still in a daze. I answered my phone without bothering to look at the caller ID. I absently realized that my heart was pounding hard.  
''Anya?'' It was Zenith. He sounded worried.  
''I'm here.'' My voice sounded faint.  
''Did I interrupt something?'' He was unusually polite.  
''Um, yes,'' I said tentatively.  
''I'm sorry, but this is kind of important.''  
I snapped out of my daze. ''Now you have my attention.''  
''It's about Sean.''  
''What?'' My body tensed.  
''He's.....stubborn. He's like a freaking leech!''  
I could tell Zen was angry. ''What did he do?'' Now I was angry, too. Sean's issue was with ME. Why was he going after my friend?  
''He called me. Asked me why you were ignoring him.'' He was fuming.  
''I'm not ignoring him. I haven't seen him or heard from him for the past two days.'' I didn't mention the note.  
''I know that. He's just a word-twister. But, we need to do something about him.''  
''Wait for it to blow over?''  
''I don't think he's going to calm down for a long time.'' He was right.  
''I can't really talk to him. I don't know how to make him listen.''  
''I get that!'' he snapped. ''I'm just pissed off.''  
''I am too.''  
''I'm going to go now. I need a drink.''  
''Bye.''  
He cut the call. Would Sean ever give up?  
''Anya?''  
I turned to see Zayn in the doorway of my bedroom.  
''What was that all about?''  
''Sean,'' I grit out.  
''This guy is seriously WAY too much.''  
''Yeah. You really have no idea.''  
''You should take action against him. Talk to him in a place where there are lots of people. He won't be able to make a scene.''  
''He'll thrive on the drama,'' I said bitterly.  
''Then let me help,'' he pleaded. ''You won't even take legal action against him.''  
''Well, you know why I can't,'' I sighed.  
''I need to help you. Please.'' His hazel eyes burned.  
''Fine. Let me try to do something first.''  
''Okay. But remember, if he hurts you-'' he stepped close ''-he has ME to deal with.''  
His face was so aggressive I believed that if Sean tried to hurt me, Zayn would kill him.  
''Yes.''  
I wondered what this allegiance with Zayn meant after all.


	13. 11. Time Passes

Zayn's POV

As time passed, Anya and I got to know each other better. Our secrets laid out in the open in the air between us. I knew that I had never shared so much with anyone in my life. She knew things about me no one else did. Nobody.  
We both had stories which made our eyebrows knit together, our emotional side arouse and our anger boil. One such anger-triggering story took place when I got to hear more about Sean.  
He triggered more anger in me by the minute! I wanted to bash this guy's face in. How dare he even look at her like that?! I had to tell myself to calm down.  
Life went on, but it wasn't the same. I wasn't the same. I spent every evening with Anya. Each and every one. My band mates found it more entertaining to observe me once I got home around midnight than clubbing. That kept them home, too. Anya wasn't much of a nightclub-goer and neither was I. That suited me just fine.  
It was astounding how similar we were. The way we perceived things, we were almost identical. She was like my female version most of the time. And then there were things that were different.  
It was the little things, really. Her favourite colour was black, whilst mine was blue. How someone so feminine could love black was a thought process that beat me. I was always fussing with the way I looked. She was the opposite of obsessed with her appearance. I liked my tea black but she liked milk in hers, though both of us went on the non-sugar road. We were both obsessed with the little things.  
We spent nearly three hours together everyday. We talked about everything. Meanwhile, the guys were getting a kick out of watching me spout lyrics or hum a composition once or maybe even twice everyday. I worked in the day with the band, and met Anya at night. During the rest of my time, I mostly day dreamed.  
Anya had also accelerated with her photography. She worked a lot more now, and it was not hard to see the strain her face sometimes wore on weekends. She usually didn't try on weekdays. On Saturday or Sunday, she went to the countryside by train and tried to capture those serene moments. I didn't really like that she was doing all her travelling by train, but she couldn't really afford a car. I wanted to drive her but I didn't want to invade her privacy. I knew how I acted when I was absorbed in a song in the works.  
The guys were keeping something from me, though. I knew it. Though I didn't have a clue as to what it was, it was something big. I could tell by the way they were acting.  
They also seemed....happy for me. I had healed, been patched together. That was all they wanted for me. And I WAS happy and healed. Life was good.  
They still wanted to meet her, though. They were quite firm on that matter. I wasn't going to have it. At least not right now. She would be running from me a mile a minute!  
Or maybe not. I just didn't want to risk losing her until I was sure I wouldn't.  
Anya had told her friends about me once the topic had been cleared between us. She had excelled. Even though her friends were now aware I visited her everyday, they never showed up once. Ever. I was grateful for the privacy. I wanted to meet them, too, but I was wary of what might happen then.  
I was just going to have to risk it, and so would she, once I let my best friends meet her.

Anya's POV

I remembered how I told my friends that I was now Zayn Malik's friend. It had been hard for even me to wrap my head around the fact, and saying it out loud felt almost weird. Their reaction had been good, though. They still gave Zayn and I space, and the only irritating things about it were their constant questions and their secretive whispering and gossiping amongst themselves. I tried not to be bothered, but it was not an easy job.  
Needless to say, they had gone into shock. Tanya, as usual, had recovered quickly, the chill person she was. Rob had this wild look in his eyes. Lexie was hyper, to say the least. She took the longest to calm down. In that moment, I realised what an extraordinary friend I had in Zenith.  
Things were good now. Zayn and I were so close to each other it was hard to believe. It hadn't even been that long since we met. I felt different around him. I felt protected and safe. However, I was always worried he would be spotted coming to me or leaving, but he never was. His bodyguards did do a stellar job.  
I spent my weekdays trying not to photograph. When I did, I was so tired by the time I met Zayn, I wanted my bed just as much as I wanted to talk to him. Zayn always won.  
My Saturdays were almost always spent outside, either in and around London or in the countryside that surrounded the city. I was now once more able to see the beauty of the world. It had been hard recently, but now, I was happy. I was smiling all the time, feeling like myself again, but still, different. Lighter.  
Zayn understood me. He was able to read my silences, and respect them, too. He never pushed on anything. If an uncomfortable topic came up, he changed it. He never ever spoke impolitely, or rudely. I was always comfortable around him.  
He did make me blush a lot, though. It seemed as if he showered me with praise. He said what was on his mind, and I found myself being more....confident. I spoke more than I usually did. With anybody, whenever I had a conversation, the other person did the talking. With Zayn, that wasn't the case. It was pretty levelled out.  
Zayn was much like me. We were both shy people, but not with each other. That was something we hadn't figured out yet. Why we were so comfortable with each other was still a mystery.  
He talked about so many different topics with me. He spoke of his work, which was really exciting for two reasons. The first was that he was excited, too, when he told me. His voice had a proud tone, as it should have. Also, because I was such a huge fan, I loved to hear about what they were writing.  
We were both inspiring each other and were inspired BY each other. Our work was not something we ran from anymore. Instead, we embraced it with open arms, and worked hard. I usually spent the whole day clicking pictures once I started. Ideas just seemed to flow in my head so fast it was hard to capture them all.  
My friends wanted to meet Zayn. His friends wanted to meet me. But neither of us was ready for such a big step. My major concern was protecting Zayn. I didn't want to risk losing him. I didn't want him to think lowly of me. He was the best friend I'd ever had (no offense to Zenith).  
I couldn't explain why I felt this need for Zayn. It made no sense. Not even now, when it had been a month. Who would've thought my life would change so drastically? Certainly not me.


	14. 12. Meeting The Friends (Part 1)

Anya's POV

''You ready, Zayn?'' I asked him.  
''Born ready.'' He gave me a confident smile.  
''Maybe I'm the one who's not ready.''  
''I'm pretty sure everything will be fine.'' he was cool as a cucumber.  
''And how do you know that?'' I said wryly.  
''My sixth sense.''  
''Mr Malik, I assure you, a woman's intuition is stronger than a man's.''  
''Is that so? Then is it you're intuition that's telling you this will blow? Relax.''  
I took a deep breath. ''Let's go.''  
We walked up the stairs to my flat. I swung open the door. Zayn came in behind me.  
''Hello,'' he said politely. ''I'm Zayn.''  
Tanya rolled her eyes. ''We know who you are.''  
''You must be Tanya,'' he said, ''the chilled-out one.''  
They both chuckled. Maybe this wasn't going to be an epic disaster after all.  
''Yep. That's me. It's a pleasure to meet you.''  
''Likewise, Tanya.''  
The next one to get over it was Zen. He offered his hand. ''I'm Zenith Stone. The crazy, insane one from the group.''  
''Zenith Stone, really?'' They shook hands. ''What a name.''  
''Tell that to my parents,'' he scoffed.  
When Lexie made no move to approach Zayn, I took it upon myself to introduce them.  
''Zayn, this is Lexie and Rob. The happy couple.'' I gestured a hand.  
''Nice to meet you,'' Rob said quietly. No doubt, he was feeling shy.  
Zayn gave a nod and a smile. Lexie blushed once he turned to her.  
''Hi,'' she squealed.  
''How are you today?'' Zayn's voice was alluring. He was playing with her.  
''Great! Though I'm confused whether or not I should ask you for an autograph.''  
''You probably won't need one from me. I'm going to be around here a long time.''  
That made my heart thud. Zayn was making promises that he would be present in my life for a long time.  
''Wow.'' No wonder, Lexie was thinking dirty thoughts.  
''You guys' reaction is much better than I expected,'' Zayn mused.  
''Not everyone is a squealing fan of One Direction!'' Zen exclaimed.  
''And that's a good thing for me,'' Zayn said quietly.  
It seemed as if my Z's were getting along. 'My Z's'? Where did that thought come from?! There was no time to think about that right now.  
''So why don't you tell us your side of the story?'' This was Tanya. ''We've all heard Anya's version of it.  
''Sure.'' He shrugged, slumping down onto his favourite cushion on my couch. ''Where shall I start?''  
''From the beginning?'' Lexie giggled.  
''Oh, yeah. Obvious, that.'' Zayn rolled his eyes at himself. ''Maybe I should start from the part where I was feeling low. You know how they say that after sadness, we will all acquire happiness?''  
Everyone nodded.  
''That was what happened to me. Anya's a real saviour.'' He gave me a crooked grin. '''Midnight Memories' came out and One Direction was, once again, headed on tour. This one was long, tiring. Longer than most. It was horrible. It was hard, especially for me. The reason for that being, I was having a rough patch with my family.''  
''We've all been through those,'' Rob muttered, indicating at Zen.  
''I feel you, man. But, this one was bigger than most. It still is, but I try not to think about it.  
''See, my parents wanted me to be home for Christmas and New Year, but I wasn't. We were in Europe, for goodness sakes. There was no way I could've made it. They just didn't undertstand.'' His voice was a lament. ''This made me miserable. The guys - I mean my band mates - didn't like it, either. Paul, our bodyguard, talked to our manager, Uncle Simon. He came over and understood what we were saying. We needed a holiday, and fast. So he ended the tour in a week and had us home. I really owe a lot to him.  
''Although, that was not the answer to my problems. My family was furious with me. They thought that I was coming home whenever I wanted to, not when they did. So I spent a week alone in London, doing nothing but staring at walls and feeling hopeless. I slowly started to realize that I couldn't mope forever, and tried to recover.  
''That night, I was walking down East London roads. Suddenly, a girl recognized me, and I had a hundred people on my tail. I started running, and I was lucky. I found an apartment building's door open, and slipped in. Just to be cautious, I ran up to the first floor and hid there. I didn't move for an hour. When the noise had died down, I stretched, and out of nowhere, Anya appeared.''  
Zen chuckled. Tanya joined in.  
''We introduced ourselves. She pulled me in to this very flat for the first time that day when a neighbour opened the main door. Ever since then, I can't imagine not being in Anya's life.'' Zayn was beaming.  
My friends gave small smiles. Good, I thought, one down, one to go.

Zayn and my group got along well. They were talking, but there was a drawback. Now, Zayn seemed to have closed off. He talked not of emotions, but of the trivial things which anyone could share even with a stranger. Odd.  
Finally, my friends started to leave. Lexie and Rob were first to go, and Zayn even gave Lex a hug. She blushed so hard Rob got a little jealous of Zayn. Then it was Tanya's turn. And it was just three of us.  
''So.....'' Zenith trailed off suggestively.  
''What?'' I asked.  
''This is just friendship, right?'' He gestured to the two of us.  
''Mm-hmm.'' Zayn was sassy.  
''I don't really seem to agree with you, though.'' A playful smile appeared on Zen's mouth.  
''Zen!'' I complained.  
Zayn was cool. ''My friends seem to say the same thing.''  
''Oh, really?'' Zenith taunted. ''Then there must be some truth to it, don't you think?''  
''Well,'' Zayn breathed, ''in my experience, people have been repeatedly wrong about me.''  
''Mine, too,'' I agreed.  
''Who's to say they're wrong this time?'' he challenged.  
''We'll see,'' Zayn said. Even he realized how stubborn my friend could be.  
''Well, I'll go now,'' Zen breathed, grabbing his stuff. ''Photographing awaits.''  
''Bye,'' Zayn said.  
''Yeah.'' He gave a wave, and was gone.  
I sighed. ''What is their problem?''  
''I don't know.'' He was exasperated, too. We'd both been facing this music for a while now.  
''Ah, forget it. They're never going to change.''  
He got to the point. ''So, you ready for tomorrow?''  
I gulped involuntarily. ''Yes,'' I squeaked out.  
''They're not going to eat you!''  
''Yes, I know.'' I was curt. ''But you somehow gave that very impression when you first told me the deets about that.''  
''Well.'' He paused. ''Maybe.''  
''Don't scare me.''  
''There's nothing to be scared of Anya, trust me.'' He was protective again. ''They have already accepted you. They like you. Now they want to meet you. That's a good thing.''  
I calmed down. ''Okay. Tomorrow. I can do this.''  
He grinned. ''You can do absolutely anything and everything.''  
I grinned back. ''We'll see.''  
Needless to say, tomorrow was going to be a heck of a day. Which way, I would find out soon.


	15. 13. Meeting The Friends (Part 2)

Anya's POV

Zayn called me early the next morning, saying that he would arrive downstairs from my flat in ten minutes. Oh my God, the pressure was getting to me. I tied my hair up in a messy bun, and took several deep breaths to calm me down. Finally, I grabbed my purse and got my nervous ass downstairs. Zayn's black van pulled up almost immediately, and I slipped in quickly.  
He turned around from the passenger seat in the front to look at me. ''I wanted to be chivalrous, but I thought you wouldn't like it very much if I risked getting spotted.'' He gave me a crooked smile.  
''You got that right.''  
By now, we had started moving through the early morning city.  
''Are your band mates even going to be awake?''  
''Only for today,'' said a bass voice from the driver's seat. I looked at his reflection in the mirror. ''I'm Paul Higgins.''  
''Hi. I'm Anya.''  
''I know. I've heard a lot about you.''  
''Me, too. I didn't know you were coming to pick me up today.''  
''Zayn requested it. Thought you'd be more comfortable when you knew two out of six.'' He rolled his eyes.  
''He is pretty worried about me all the time.''  
''Hey! I'm right here!'' he protested.  
''Yes, I know.'' I gave him a narrow-eyed look.  
Paul laughed. ''Though I do have to say thank you for saving Zayn's butt the day you met.''  
''You're welcome.'' I bowed my head. ''There was no question of doing anything else. I have to say thanks, too.''  
''What for?''  
''That you talked to Simon Cowell when Zayn was down and got him back on his feet, and I mean that literally.''  
''It was my job. I do feel like a father most of the time.''  
''Yeah. I'd imagine how hard it is for you.''  
''Uh-huh,'' he agreed as we pulled into a stone driveway. The car stopped, and this time Zayn got out and opened the door for me.  
''Thanks, Zayn.'' My voice shook.  
''Yeah.'' He was nervous, too. I had to keep in mind that this was just as important to him as it was to me.  
We walked up to what could've only be considered a mansion and nothing less. The tall, majestic off-white building stood in the middle of the paraphernalia, the paraphernalia being the cars, bodyguards and the trees. It stood tall, even with only two floors. There was mysterious grandoise to it. This place was amazing.  
''What do you think?'' Zayn asked me.  
''It's majestic, for sure.''  
''Wait till you see the inside.''  
There were a few steps leading up to a glass door and an entire glass wall. The blinds were drawn at the moment. Zayn opened the main door for me and I stepped in. My jaw nearly dropped when I got a look at the living room.  
This room was bigger than I would've thought possible. The ceiling was, I guessed, at least three times taller than the normal seven feet. A huge chandelier dropped down from the centre of the room, with several more smaller ones dancing around it celestially. A grand staircase presented itself at the side, with more cream-coloured steps, a metal flower working as ancient as the times at the railing and, no doubt, the finest wood's perfectly carved handle.  
''Oh my God, Zayn,'' I breathed.  
''You'll get over it. It's just another house, Anya.''  
I looked at him. He was observing me. ''Yes?'' I grew self-conscious.  
''You look beautiful.''  
I blushed. ''Thanks.''  
He stared walking forward. I followed a step behind. ''This, as you can see, is the living room.'' We encountered huge crimson sofas and a just as large teapoy laid on a velvet carpet. ''The guys, I'm guessing, are in the kitchen. Probably trying to wake themselves up.''  
I laughed once. We entered the kitchen to find, in Zayn's language, the guys. They were all looking at me. I felt conscious of their every observation. They at least seemed to be smiling. That was good.  
Liam Payne was the first one to get over it. He extended his hand. ''Hi, I'm Liam,'' he greeted in his Wolverhampton accent.  
I shook his hand. ''I'm Anya, but I guess you know that already.'' They all chuckled.  
''Pleasure,'' Louis said, taking my hand.  
''Hi, Louis,'' I said. ''Please don't play a prank on me.''  
''Never on a girl as sweet as you.''  
I smiled.  
''Hello. I'm Niall.''  
''Yes. I know.'' We shook hands.  
''You're prettier than I imagined,'' he commented.  
I turned red. ''Thank you, Niall.''  
''Pretty?'' Harry scoffed. ''Ni, that's a world-class insult to the beauty standing in our kitchen.'' He stepped forward. ''I'm Harry.'' Instead of shaking my hand like the rest, he bowed his head and kissed it.  
''Anya,'' I introduced.  
He looked at Zayn. ''Maybe I shouldn't have kissed your hand,'' he frowned. ''Zayn's gonna yell at me for that. Don't get jealous, Zayn.''  
''Shut your trap,'' Zayn said under his breath.  
''We have company. Stop fighting,'' Liam instructed. ''Please sit, Anya.''  
''Thanks, Liam.'' I sat on one of the stools. The five guys relaxed.  
''So, tell us more about you,'' Louis suggested.  
''I don't really know how much Zayn's already told you-'' I indicated to him- ''but a basic introductiom should suffice, I suppose. I'm 20, I study at London University. I'm doing a major in photography. Any questions?'' I joked.  
''We would really like to know your version of the story,'' Niall coaxed.  
''Of how you guys met,'' Liam cleared, signalling to Zayn and I.  
''Sure. Though I'm pretty sure I don't have much to add to the story.  
''I met Zayn in quite an unconventional way, I guess you could call it.'' Unconventional - what a perfect word for that description.  
They all chuckled.  
''I was particularly distracted that day - I had had a bad day in uni. Photographing was becoming a bit of a chore, to be honest. Inspiration became hard to come by.  
''It was a while before I noticed that there seemed to be some sort of hullabaloo going on in Shoreditch square. I caught it before the noise died down, actually.  
''I got curious, and opened my door to take a peek out. And there he was. Standing in the doorway.''  
I smiled at Zayn while he smiled back.  
''And that's how it all began.''  
''I sure hope your photography problems are gone now,'' Harry gentled.  
''Yes. I have to tell myself NO sometimes.''  
The discussion went on. They were very curious about me. They were nice, too. I could see how they'd affected Zayn, and how Zayn had been affected by him. It was not hard to see the bromance-love, either. It was so cute!  
I also got most of my queries answered. They were living, in the prime of their lives, but torn in two. Singing was their dream, their passion. But they loved their families, too. It was like Zayn's feelings of conflict times five.  
I spent the whole day at the mansion. I found out that it was true that none of them could cook. And that Niall Horan could eat more in one sitting than I could in two days. Not kidding.  
Night settled around us as we had dinner. Pizza, actually. Well, who didn't like pizza?  
Once dinner was done, Zayn announced that he was going to drop me home. I said goodbye to everyone, hugging each guy with ease, except maybe Harry. He'd been warm, but flirty. He'd also been the only one to make innuendos on the Zayn-and-I-as-a-couple thing. That had pissed Zayn off, but I hadn't thought much of it. Why?  
Because I had no idea what I felt about him anymore.


	16. 14. Imperfect Perfection

Anya's POV

Zayn and I drove wordlessly through London. That is, we sat quietly while a bodyguard drove us. The day had been almost idyllic. I knew Zayn was satisfied, too. Both of the meets had happened. And had been quite successful.  
The car stopped at my building, and I got down first, opening the door and holding it open for Zayn to get in. He did it quickly as always.  
''I should be holding the door open for you, not the other way around.''  
''Please,'' I scoffed. ''I get plenty of days to be a girl.''  
''Oh, yeah?'' he mused as we reached my flat.  
Something was wrong. The door of my flat was slightly open. Some ONE was here. I sucked in a breath.  
Zayn gripped my wrist and wheeled me behind him. Suddenly, he was the one leading and I was the one following.  
His grip was tight. Comfortable, too. I felt protected. I firmly and honestly believed that he would keep me safe from whatever danger we were going to step in. But who would protect HIM?  
He gently pushed open the door to reveal my living room. There were shards of glass on the floor. My teapoy glass sheet was shattered into millions of pieces. His grip on me tightened like a reflex action.  
''Well, well, well,'' taunted a voice I knew too well, ''look who's here.''  
I flinched mentally. ''Sean.'' I grit my teeth.  
He now fully faced us. ''Got a new boyfriend already?''  
''Get. Out. Of. Here.'' Zayn was glowering. Suddenly he was holding onto me to control his anger.  
Sean seemed to back up. But he made no move to leave.  
''Leave before I smash your nose in.''  
Still Sean did not go.  
Zayn took a deliberate step forward, releasing my hand. I was worried there was going to be a fight. But I knew which side I was on.  
He went up in his face. ''Get out. Never return. Otherwise, you have ME to deal with. Clear?'' he growled in a mad rage.  
Sean cowered away and left quickly. He'd left a storm's ruins behind.  
Zayn was shaking. Literally shaking with anger. It was the first time I'd seen him this angry. I knew what it could do to him. I HAD to calm him down, and I needed to do it fast.  
''Zayn?'' My voice sounded strangled, choked.  
He didn't reply. I stood in front of him. His facial expression was worse. He seemed almost tortured. He was trying to rein his emotions in.  
''Hey,'' I coaxed softly, reaching out for his hand and taking it in mine. ''It's okay.'' I smoothed out his right fist and held onto the warm palm. Something thudded in my ears.  
He focussed into my eyes. I could see everything in them. They burned holes into me, the charcoal fire embers that they were. I suddenly felt frail.  
''I'm fine, I'm fine,'' he gasped out, trying to breathe. Trying to gain complete control over himself. He gripped my hand tightly, trying to anchor himself to me.  
It worked. I could see it in his face. He relaxed after what seemed like an hour.  
''Are YOU okay?'' he almost begged. The look in his eyes was mad.  
''I'm fine.''  
''You sure?'' He narrowed his eyes into slits.  
''Yes. I'll sweep up all the glass.''  
''I'll help.''  
He let go of my hand with a palpable reluctance that made my head swim. I had no idea what in hell was happening to me. Maybe it was just he shock.  
I brought two sweeping brushes from the kitchen and two waste pans to go with it. We both hunched down silently and started cleaning.  
It took a while. A really long while. Once we'd swept up everything visible, I dumped my share in the recyclable bin and headed to the kitchen. Pulling out a plate and the flour bin, I put some flour on the plate with water. Zayn looked at me, puzzled.  
''What are you doing?''  
''Making a dough. If we swipe the floor with a really tight dough, all the miniscule glass particles will be attached to the glutinous stickiness of the dough and no one will hurt their foot,'' I explained.  
''Wise girl.''  
I shrugged. ''Just a typical Indian technique. I guess we have our advantages.''  
I formed a small dough ball. Pushing it onto the affected floor, I dabbed the area until I was satisfied, and dumped it in the compost bin. I turned to see Zayn smiling at me affectionately, and....almost.....lovingly. I had to look away.  
''Hey, look at me.''  
I felt compelled to meet his gaze. His expression had not changed. I felt like my whole body was on fire. My heart speeded up. My throat went dry.  
''You're so beautiful,'' he murmured, closing the distance between our bodies. He stood close. Close enough for me to get an alien feeling in my stomach.  
He lifted his hand to my face, and gently touched his fingertips to my cheek. Even though his touch was cool, it felt like my skin was burning where he touched it. I couldn't move; I could hardly even think. All I comprehended was that Zayn was touching me. And I didn't want him to stop.  
''I've been thinking about this,'' he admitted, his breath fanning my face. ''You have no idea how crazy you make me, Anya. Your beauty is enough to kill. I'm completely infatuated. To tell the truth, I'm under your spell, Anya.''  
My breath hitched in my throat. His confession had me completely unawares. I wasn't expecting this. Then why was I feeling so damn elated to hear his words?  
He observed me with a burning gaze, waiting for me to reply. I tried.  
''Zayn.'' I sounded breathless. I WAS breathless. Every thought in my mind blurred to nothing.  
''Are you going to let me kiss you now?'' he asked gently, trying hard to attain some control over his impulses.  
''Yes.''  
One word was all it took. He cupped my face carefully, leaning in slowly. He didn't want to rush it. I closed my eyes.  
His lips pressed onto mine softly. His nose brushed against my face. The kiss was short, and very, very sweet. It was the ideal first kiss.  
He pulled away, and I found myself wishing it would've lasted longer. The haze that surrounded me felt like a dream. Had he just kissed me?  
His face was still close when I opened my eyes. He was looking at me questioningly. I let my face explain my wonderment.  
He broke into his signature goofy grin. ''I'll see you tomorrow, Anya,'' he said. ''Good night.''  
He gave me one long gaze before kissing my cheek, and then left me standing there in disbelief.  
Zayn Malik had just kissed me. And I'd WANTED it. Wanted HIM.


	17. 15. Yours

Zayn's POV

Oh my God, I'd done it. I'd kissed her. And it had felt so damned good! I hadn't known it would be this amazing.  
I'd been dreaming about this awhile now. It had been scary for me to admit it, even to myself, but I'd put myself out there. And the results had been damn good. Damn good.  
God, I'd been nervous about it. I'd felt like was going to bite my nails off. I'd tried to say something the whole ride back, and failed. But then, that Sean asshole had to show up. I'd seriously been afraid I was going to kill the guy right there. I had always felt so obliged to protect Anya since the moment I'd seen her, that it felt natural to have to do that. After all, wouldn't anyone and everyone want to protect such a delicate and beautiful life?  
It had taken a lot for me to calm down, and expel the thoughts of disgust and hatred I felt for her ex-boyfriend, and then had time to wonder if maybe I was just jealous of him. Not of what he had done, but of how much time she had spent with him. That had been the moment. I had to do it the same night.  
I couldn't help but show my affection on my face. Suddenly I was looking at her in THAT way. I wanted to look at her in that way. That way was the only way I could see her now.  
She had blushed, looking away while her cheeks covered in pink. That enough made my heart stop, and I'd confessed my attraction. Her eyes interlocking with mine, I had felt everything at once. My insides went all gooey.  
My heart beating so fast I'd thought it would jump out of my chest, I'd leaned in to kiss her lips when she'd said that one simple, small, three-lettered word that changed my world forever - yes. She had closed her eyes, as I had closed mine.  
It had been the perfect kiss. Her lips had been so soft, so sensous; I'd wanted more. But even in the haze I'd known that I needed to give her space. Time to think, maybe. After all, just because I felt this way did not mean she did, too. But it would break my heart if she didn't.  
I had been so absorbed in my thoughts that I did not realize that we'd already reached home. I got down, only to be bombarded by four stares. They scrutinized my face.  
''You.....'' Louis trailled off, pursing his lips. Damn, how could they read me so well?  
''Yeah, definitely,'' Harry breathed, patting Lou's shoulder.  
''Mm-hmm,'' Niall murmured.  
''No doubt about it,'' Liam agreed.  
''So....how was it?'' Lou asked cheekily.  
I looked down.  
''I don't believe this. Zayn Javadd Malik is BLUSHING?'' Niall screamed.  
''Stop screaming,'' I mumbled.  
''So he's right,'' Harry stated. ''Obviously.''  
I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.  
''Oh, stop lying to us,''' Liam complained. ''We know you're lying.''  
''So?'' I said, curt.  
''We're your closest friends.'' Ni was hurt. ''Come on.''  
I caved under the pressure of Li's puppy dog eyes and Haz's morose face. ''Fine.'' I exhaled sharply.  
''So....what happened?'' they all chorused.  
I rolled my eyes and braced myself. ''I kissed Anya.''  
There was a still silence. I didn't dare lift my eyes to see their faces.  
''Wow.''  
''Yeah, wow.''  
''Amazing.''  
''Good job, man!''  
I was still looking at the ground.  
''Wait a minute, did she kiss you back?'' Liam was not-so-quietly curious.  
I nodded.  
''Whoo-hoo!'' NOW they broke out into a celebration. I rolled my eyes again.  
''Way to go, Zaynie!'' Lou slapped my shoulder. I even got a hug or two.  
Once they'd calmed down, I said, ''Can I get some sleep now, guys? I'm bushed.''  
''Oooohhh!'' they all went together.  
''Whatever,'' I muttered, and went into the house. Waiting for me, was Paul.  
''Congrats, Zayn.''  
''Don't go comgratulating me yet, Paul. I need to know how she feels.''  
He nodded. ''You're a good guy.''  
''I hope so. Listen, I need a favour from you,'' I whispered. ''We need to talk in private.''  
''Yeah.''  
We made it to my room. It seemed the guys were still downstairs. Good.  
''Okay, what is this about?'' he asked, curious.  
''There is this guy, Sean, who's really bothering Anya. He even broke into Anya's flat tonight.''  
''What?''  
''Yeah. I want you to find out everything you can about this guy. I need you to. I'm afraid I'm going to kill him if I see him again.''  
''Okay. I'm on it.'' He was in his business mode.  
''Thanks. I need this.''  
He sighed. ''Anything for you, Zayn. I feel like I have five sons.''  
''We feel like you're our dad, too.''  
''Hmmm. Don't get emotional on me. Get some rest.''  
''Yes. Good night Paul.''  
''Good night.''  
I was alone. I got out of my clothes and took a long shower, feeling the warmth if the water on my skin. It felt nice. It reminded me of the temperature of Anya's skin. Nothing could compare to its texture, though.  
There I went again. I was obsessed with her. Dammit. Once I got started, I couldn't stop.  
I got into a comfortable black tee and knee-length shorts before drying my hair. Looking at myself in the mirror, I gave a long, hard stare. I looked the same. Physically, there was no change in the way I looked. Inside, I'd never be the same. I could only hope Anya reciprocated these feelings. Because I was already hers.

Anya's POV

It took me a while to unfreeze. What had just happened?  
Of course I knew the answer to that question. Zayn had kissed me. Moreover, he had confessed his feelings for me. The biggest thing was that he had given me time to think things through.  
The last time I'd entered a relationship, it had culminated in disaster. I knew that. But it didn't matter. Because I was no longer that person, and Zayn was nothing like Sean. Zayn was his own persona, unique. He saw me as I was, not who he wanted me to be. Actually, he wanted me to be exactly who I was. No one had ever done that for me in my whole life. That meant a lot. HE meant a lot.  
My decision had been made. I really had nothing to think about. I'd liked that kiss. I'd wanted it. And now I needed him.  
I already belonged to him.


	18. 16. Positive Changes

Anya's POV

With my decision now made, I had not much to worry about. I went to bed elated, floating on top of the world. Now I understood all of those perplexing thoughts in my mind previously. Why he made me react in this way, why I blushed all the time and why he mattered so much to me. It was all clear to me now. And it felt wonderful.  
I dreamt of Zayn. I usually did the same, but tonight was different. I dreamt of more than just spending time with him, talking. I dreamt of a lot more. I wanted to run my fingers through those tall black hair of his. I wanted to stroke his face, feel the stubble on his chin. I wanted to lose myself in his thick-lashed eyes. I wanted to spend an eternity in his arms. But first, I was going to have to tell him just how I felt. And there was a long time to go before the next evening arrived.

I woke up blissful, with Zayn's image in my eyes and his name on my lips. Never had I had such a beautiful Monday.  
I decided to treat myself to a breakfast at Lily's around the corner, the best breakfast place in East London.  
''Hey, Rick,'' I greeted the waiter with a smile.  
''Anya, long time! You seem to be beaming, gurrrl!''  
I blushed. ''Rick! Come on, get me a good breakfast!''  
''On it. We got a new one I think you're going to like.''  
''Thanks.''  
I took a seat in one of the booths. Rummaging through my bag looking for lip gloss, I found a small tissue scrunched up. I opened it. ''To the most beautiful girl in the world, good morning! I await your verdict, tonight, your place. Yours, Zayn.'' I gazed at the paper, feeling my cheeks burn.  
''Oooohh, look who's got a new beau!'' Rick teased, putting a huge full plate in front of me containing scrambled eggs, eggs sunny side up, pancakes, toast, wedges, baked beans, chicken wings and a tall glass of orande juice.  
I widened my eyes. ''Rick, how am I supposed to finish all this? You're giving me a day's food.''  
''Oh, stop complaining,'' he grumbled. ''You know Lil thought of this one 'cause of you? You really love your eggs!''  
''Aw, say thanks to your sis for me. Do you have time?''  
''Yeah. For you, anytime.''  
''Thanks.''  
''So, tuck in!''  
''Okay.'' I grabbed my cutlery and cut into a fried egg. ''Mmmm.''  
''Good?''  
''Great!'' I complimented. ''I don't remember the last time I ate such good food.''  
''Well, you haven't been around here much since you started hanging with that Sean guy.''  
''I'm sorry, man. That's actually been over for more than a month.''  
''Good for you. That guy was an idiot.'' He looked disgusted.  
''I realize that now,'' I allowed. ''I was the one who was an idiot.''  
''Hey, come on, don't beat yourself up.''  
''You're right, I'm not going to do that. This is really tasty.''  
''I'll tell Lil.''  
Lily was the owner of this diner. She'd set it up four years ago. When I moved to London, she set me up with a job here when we met at a local supermarket. Once my parents were convinced that this was the right choice for me, they funded my college fees. I no longer needed to work, and I quit because I was falling behind on assignments due to lack of time. Later, I'd eventually lost touch. It felt good to be back here.  
''I can't eat any more, Rick,'' I begged, pushing the plate away. It was still one-third full.  
''Okay, fine. How about I pack it up and give it to you? Eat it later.''  
''That's what I love about this place,'' I sighed. ''No wastages.''  
He handed me a box. ''Eat up.''  
''Thanks, Rick. And I promise, this time, I'm going to keep in touch.''  
''I believe ya. Bye, now.''  
''Bye.''  
I walked to the Tube station, catching the Central line. I mused over what Rick had said. I knew he was right; Sean had been nothing abut trouble. Bad news. Then why had I dated him for six months? Dated was actually the wrong word. He knew nothing about me.  
But Zayn did. He knew me inside out, spare a few deep secrets. But who didn't have those?

Zayn's POV

I was trying hard not to bite my nails. I looked at myself in the mirror, and knew immediately that I looked like shit. When was I going to look good? When I had a makeover? Or when I did plastic surgery?  
These were all excuses. Excuses that gave me something to think about rather than fret about tonight. I needed them.  
I was worried about what was going to happen. Granted, she'd allowed me to kiss her and even appeared pleasantly surprised, but I was not going to make her come to a decision by being desperate and clingy. I knew she needed time. But I needed her.  
Lou and Ni, our fashionistas, had picked out designer wear for me to don tonight. It was a pretty special occasion and I had to admit it, too. I stared at the all-black ensemble in front of me. Seriously, a bow-tie? Now that was too much. The only thing worse than underdressing was overdressing.  
I put on the chinos, the shirt and jacket, leaving the tie and the handkerchief. Actually, black was the perfect choice, since it was Anya's favourite colour.  
I styled my hair, quiffing up the centre and fiddling with it until I was satisfied. Once I knew it looked good, I let it go and concentrated on my shoes. Even those had been picked out for me. Seriously, guys?  
I got on some Calvin Klein perfume (you really can't go wrong with ck) and grabbed my phone. All day I'd controlled the impulse to call or text Anya. I was at my breaking point now. Well, I would see her in a bit.  
Adjusting my piercing, I stepped downstairs. My band mates were there. Of course.  
''You look good,'' Liam said.  
''Told ya,'' Niall bragged.  
''Mm-hmmm.'' There was so much sass, it wasn't possible for that to be anyone else than the sass master himself.  
''Yep. You might just be looking better than me,'' Harry joked.  
''Ah! No!'' Lou said dramatically.  
I shrugged. ''Can I go now?''  
''Good luck,'' they chorused.  
''Bye.'' I ran out before they could stop me. Paul met me outside.  
''You look good,'' he complimented.  
''Thank you.''  
''I know how important it is for you. All the best, Zayn.''  
''Yeah. I need that. Bye.''  
''Bye.''  
I got into the car and drove the road I knew better than any other. Today, I wanted to drive. Alone. Paul had been tense, but right now, he seemed to have simmered down. He knew how important this was to me now. I parked smack in front of Anya's building and got out quickly. It was earlier than we usually met, but I wanted to surprise her. Besides, I could NOT wait any longer.  
I fetched the bouquet of red tulips I'd told one of the guards to buy from the backseat and got inside. Anticipation making me move faster, I sprinted up the stairs and rapped lightly on Anya's door. She opened it within a heartbeat. My jaw dropped to the floor.  
She was wearing a prussian blue dress that hugged her figure so much I wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless. She looked breathtaking in the short-sleeved dress that went to her knees. Her hair was down, hanging off her shoulders in organized curls. She took my breath away.  
In that moment, I became sure of one thing. Whatever this was, was getting stronger.  
This was a lot more than liking.


	19. 17. Yes, The Answer Is Yes

Anya's POV

Zayn stood in the doorway, wearing an all-black suit. He looked so darn handsome. He had a bunch of red tulips in his hand, my favourite flower.  
He stared at me with dark, hungry eyes. My heart speeded up and I felt a little woozy, to be honest. I moved away and let him come in. He did so without a word.  
I shut the door and faced him. He still had the same look. I could feel my cheeks heating up. All of these feelings made it hard to concentrate. To get the words out.  
''Are you going to say yes or not?'' he finally asked, his voice strained. ''This is killing me.''  
''I think you already know my answer,'' I said softly, stepping close to him. ''How could I say anything else but yes?'' I rested my right hand in his free left palm, looking down at it. He clasped it tightly.  
''Thank you,'' he whispered, lifting our tethered hands up together. He brought them to my face and coaxed my chin up. He kissed me, again soft and sweet, but longer. I couldn't help responding; I needed him so much. Our lips battled.  
I could barely think. These feelings; I'd never felt them before. So vivid and clear. How had I survived so long without him?  
He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. ''Look at me, Anya,'' he coaxed.  
My eyes fluttered open immediately, without thought. I gazed into his eyes. ''Yes, Zayn?''  
He smiled, stroking my face with one finger while I gripped his shoulders. ''You're the most beautiful person in the world.''  
I blushed.  
''That's what I'm talking about. I'm never going to tire of seeing you blush.'' He stroked my cheek again, blowing on it lightly before pressing his lips to it. My eyes closed again.  
He rested his cheek against mine. I felt the coolness of his skin, the silky smoothness of the upper half, the stubble on the lower. ''I got you some flowers. Red tulips, your favourite,'' he whispered in my ear. His breath tickled my skin.  
He pulled away from my face. I reopened my eyes. ''Only for you, my dear.'' He handed me the flowers. I took them in my hands, feeling the softness of the petals and wonder for the fact that Zayn had gone to the trouble. The only place in London that sold red tulips was in Northwest London.  
''You really didn't have to go to the trouble, Zayn,'' I said, hunting for a flowerpot big enough for them to fit in.  
''I didn't. Made a guard go get 'em.''  
''Don't abuse power.''  
''Yes, ma'am.''  
I laughed. Fetching a glass pot which I'd won last year in the annual photography competition in uni, I put some water and the tulips in. It looked gorgeous.  
''These are really beautiful, Zayn.''  
''They pale in comparison to you.''  
I turned to face him, even though I was blushing. ''Stop being so cheesy.''  
''I'm just saying what I feel. Honest!''  
I laughed. ''You're hilarious.''  
''Courtesy of Louis and Niall.''  
''Yeah!''  
''So.....'' he trailled off.  
''Yes?'' I stared blankly.  
''How about we do that again?'' He pouted his lips.  
''Oh my God. Men will be men, huh?''  
''Yeah,'' he shrugged. ''That's the way we are. Can you deal with that?''  
''I don't know,'' I played.  
He leered at me.  
I gave in. ''Okay, fine.''  
''Great,'' he said with a lot of enthusiasm.  
I suppressed a smile.  
''Next time,'' he breathed, coming close and resting his hands on either side of my waist, ''I won't be asking for permission.'' He didn't let me reply, resting his lips on mine lightly. Soon, it had turned into a declaration of passion, a bout for control. I gasped for breath, trying to get some desperately needed air in my lungs. He realized that and moved away.  
''Ohh,'' I moaned, inhaling deeply. ''Ohh.'' Zayn made every sense in my body sing so loud it was insanical. How could someone be so influential? I was under his spell.  
'''Ohh' is right,'' he agreed, just as breathless as I was.  
''Hmmm.''  
''So, you're just as influenced by me as I am by you,'' he mused.  
''It's a competition. Who's more influenced?'' I questioned. ''Who knows? That's the beauty of it.''  
''I love the way you talk.''  
''You do, huh? Well, me too. But Zayn....''  
''Yes?''  
''What did you tell your band mates?''  
He laughed. ''They know.''  
''That's good. You shouldn't have to keep secrets.''  
''Neither should you, Anya.''  
''Are you saying I should tell my friends, too?'' I averted my eyes.  
''Yeah. Look, I know we can't tell a lot of people. That just puts you at risk. I can't live with that. But, I'm a typical guy. I want people to know we're together, you know?''  
''I know.''  
''So you'll tell them?'' he prodded.  
''Zen will probably guess.''  
''He's crazy.''  
''See? Even someone who has only met him once knows he's insane.'' My eyes fell on the crystal pot in which I'd put Zayn's tulips. ''Wait a minute.'' I got my professional camera from the bedroom and the tripod stand.  
Eyeing them, Zayn said, ''Come on, don't work right now.''  
''This has to happen now. Just look at that vase with your flowers!''  
He flicked his gaze to it as I lifted it and carried it to the small room that I'd made into two halves; one for clicking photos and one as a dark room. He stood at the door. I put the vase on the table, putting the pale pink curtain behind it hanging from the rod. Adjusting the tripod to the right height, I fastened the camera to it. I felt self-conscious. Zayn's eyes were on me, casting an unwavering stare. I tried to concentrate. After all, I'd done this many times before.  
I bent down, adjusting the camera to my eye level. Once it was right like I only knew by instinct that it would be, I grasped the camera in one hand with my forefinger right above the clicking button. With my other hand on the adjusting lens, I peered through the visor, I scrolled the lens till I was convinced the shot was as good as it would be. I clicked four shots.  
''Wow,'' Zayn said, breaking the silence. ''You have such an intense focus.''  
I shrugged. ''I did say that I would let you watch me work if you were lucky. And you are very, very lucky.''  
''Can I see?'' he asked curiously.  
''Sure, Zayn.'' I handed him the camera. ''So, which ones should I keep?''  
''They're all good. Tell me what the difference is, though.''  
''Okay, let's take a look here. Oh, see, Zayn, in the first one, the pale pink of the background is blown. It looks white in the centre. So that one's no good.  
''The second one is considerably better, but the stalks of the tulips that are immersed in water aren't clear. A no go on that one, too.  
''The third one is nearly perfect. But, one of the tulips looks wrinkled. Many people would say yes to this one, but I don't like it.  
''The fourth one is perfect. Nothing's wrong with it. At least, I think so.''  
''Yeah,'' he murmured.  
''Great!'' I deleted all the other photos and tagged the fourth one. This was definitely going in my year end project. When I looked up, Zayn's face was awed.  
''You are amazing,'' he said slowly, letting the words sink into me. I glowed and blushed all at once.  
''So are you,'' I said, spellbound once again.  
''I know.'' He gave a cheeky smile.  
''We should work on softening that ego a bit,'' I suggested, earning a laugh from him.  
''On one condition.'' He was leering again.  
''You know I can't control myself,'' I mumbled before his lips crashed onto mine. It was the truth. I couldn't control myself, not with Zayn. Problem was, I didn't want to.


	20. 18. The Only Thing On My Mind

Anya's POV

''Hey!''  
I spotted Zenith at the doorway of our first class together on Tuesday. English.  
''We have English off today! Teach is absent,'' he grinned.  
I didn't say anything.  
''Wait a minute,'' he said, walking around me in a circle and appraising with his eyes. ''You seem different.''  
''How?''  
''I'll figure it out.'' He gave me a look of concentration. ''It's like the words are right in front of me and I've forgotten how to read.''  
I laughed a short, nervous laugh.  
''It's something big, I know it.''  
I huffed in exasperation.  
''You're not denying it.'' He narrowed his eyes into slits. ''So I know I'm onto something.''  
''You can think whatever you want to, Zenith.''  
''Okay.'' He turned silent. The only time Zenith Stone ever turned silent was when he was trying to solve an amazingly difficult riddle.  
We walked in silence to the steps, sitting down in the corner. The rest of our friends were busy; Lex was in French, her minor subject, and Rob and Tanya were in Chemistry, as far as I knew.  
Being stuck with Zenith was not so bad right now, though. He was silent, figuring it out, shooting glares at me occasionally. I was not going to tell him. He was just going to have to guess.  
My mind fluttered back to Zayn time and again. Whenever I tried to think about something else, he just wiped it out. I remembered his face with its each and every detail, the coolness of his skin. The way his cheek felt resting against mine. His hot, burning kisses that lit me on fire. His lips at my face, my forehead, his breath moving through my hair as he whispered sweetest thoughts to me in my living room. The way he held my hands in his, protective, firm and soft. Above all, soft. There was no brashness, no rush. We had time.  
Zayn was everything Sean was not. Which was the best thing, really. I knew that any normal person would think I'm an idiot for entering a new relationship just a few short weeks after exiting a disastrous one. But I was not normal. Zayn was not normal.  
Again Zayn. Such a circle of thoughts....only one destination. Zayn Malik.  
His eyes. Oh, they felt like they were piercing through my soul. I felt exposed with him, now more than ever, but in a good way. I needed to be exposed to him. I needed HIM, period.  
His hair. So soft. Dark with the little quiff no longer blonde. He'd removed the dye a few days after we'd met. The feel of him. His flat cheeks with the extremely prominent cheekbones. His impeccably straight nose with two perfectly shaped nostrils. Two equally sized and shaped thin eyebrows above his almond-shaped eyes. His stubble. His lips.  
Oh my God, his lips. He was an impeccable kisser. His lips seemed to set me on fire. I felt like their marks were visible on my skin.  
Him holding me in an embrace. Hugging me close, tight but not too much. Just the right amount of holding me close. His gentle kiss on my mouth before he left last night, sad to be going.  
Zenith yanked me out of my thoughts. ''You're blushing so much, Anya, it looks like you've put red powder on your whole body.''  
I looked away, trying to take a deep breath. I got carried away once I started day-dreaming of Zayn.  
''Oh. My. Lord. Did you guys....?'' He pursed his lips.  
I nodded, averting his eyes.  
''Oh. Ohhh.''  
I waited for him to calm down.  
''I told you so,'' he said curtly, surprising me.  
''What?''  
''I told you.''  
His point sunk in. ''I just told you I kissed him, and you're telling me that you told me so.''  
''I didn't mean it that way! I'm happy for you.''  
''Thanks. So, how was it?''  
''Zen,'' I mumbled.  
''Oh, come on.''  
''He's really sweet,'' I conceded. ''I feel safe with him.''  
''That's why this has my approval. After that Sean bastard-''  
I cut him off. ''Let's not talk about him, okay?'' I gentled. ''You'll ruin my mood.''  
''Yeah.'' He brooded, then spoke. ''You seem happy.''  
''That might be because I am. I'm elated.''  
''That's all I've ever wanted for you, Anya. You know that.''  
''I know,'' I nodded. ''You were always the one who badgered me to fall in love and meet 'the one' and what not.''  
''I did, huh? Maybe now I can relax in that department.''  
I was taken aback. ''Whoa. I did not say I'm in love with him.''  
He was chill. ''Maybe not yet. But it's going to happen, and soon. I'm so happy for you. You have, like, no idea.''  
''Really?''  
''Mmm.''  
Falling in love with Zayn seemed like the best thing I could picture in my future.

Zayn's POV

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Last night had been perfect. For once, I had just let the words flow, constantly telling her how I felt. It was worth it just to see her blush. She was so shy. Just like me.  
I let myself get lost in the images that still lingered in my mind. Her delicate face with the waves of her hair framing it almost perfectly. Almond-shaped eyes fringed with thick brown lashes. Thin curvy eyebrows. Cheekbones with little volume. Her lips. Soft and sensual. They teased my every fantasy.  
Whoa. My mind just went there. God, I needed to get this thing under control. It would NOT be cool to react hyper-actively in front of her. I didn't want to scare her away. But damn, I wanted her.  
'Calm down, Zayn. Calm down. Don't get ahead of yourself here,' I told myself. This was the start of something great, and I did not want to ruin it. There would be plenty of time for this, LATER.  
''Hey,'' Liam said, standing at the doorway.  
''Come in,'' I said, sitting up in bed.  
''Thanks. So, how did it go?'' He sat on the foot of my bed.  
''Pretty great. I have a girlfriend, Li.'' It still hadn't sunk in.  
''Congratulations, Zayn,'' he said. ''I'm happy for you.''  
''Thanks. I can't go to sleep, though. I want to stay up all night and do nothing but think about her.''  
He chuckled. ''I know what you're saying. You should see Lou, though. Insane. He's just screaming Eleanor's name at random.''  
''True.''  
''Though I am the one who sleeptalks Soph's name all the time, so yeah,'' he mumbled grudgingly.  
''Yeah. How's she doing by the way?''  
''Fine. I hung out with her all day at the flat.'' He averted my eyes.  
''Hung out, huh?'' I teased. ''What a euphemism.''  
''Oh, shut it,'' he muttered.  
''See,'' I pointed out, ''it doesn't feel so good to get teased, does it?''  
''It definitely doesn't,'' he conceded. ''Okay, I'll go now. I'm tired.''  
''You would be, wouldn't you?'' I played.  
''That's it. I'm leaving. Good night, Zayn.''  
''Yep. G'night.''  
I was alone again. I sighed to myself, going back to Anya in my thoughts. Liam came back.  
''Zayn, do you know what this means? You acting all lovey-dovey about her?''  
I raised my eyebrows.  
''Think about it.''  
Poof, he was gone before I could say something. Lovey-dovey? Was I really doing that?  
Was I in love?


	21. 19. I Belong To You

Anya's POV

The day had passed quickly. Things had gone much smoothly, my brain now content with letting Zayn's handsome face run in the background. Zenith no longer mentioned it, nor did he give me his signature looks. I guessed he was satisfied with what he had said and meant it. He had backed off as promised. According to him, I had a worthy protector.  
I couldn't argue with that. Zayn was protective about me, and it was clear already. I felt protective, too, but I was at a loss as of how I could do that. I wasn't very strong; physically, at least. That was how it was.  
What I could do for him was could give him my SELF. My soul. It already belonged to him, but he didn't know that. I wanted to tell him that. My heart. It now beat for him. Because of him. I had never been so in love before; sure I'd been in a couple of relationships, but the most I'd done was to feel a major crush. This was so much more than that. This was alien to me.  
I lay awake in bed as I had before, too, many times, but the reason was a million times better. Always I'd been a troubled person and now, it was all gone. There was nothing but happiness. I was so insanely happy. And he was the cause of it.  
I fell asleep thinking of him.

When I awoke, it was dawn. I got up and stretched, feeling the kinks getting worked out. Feeling happy, I opened all the curtains in the flat and looked out the window.  
The dark sky was getting lighter as I looked. The window became illuminated in a red, then orange glow. The world seemed beautiful in that moment.  
Once the sun was up, I brushed my teeth and got some fruit juice from the fridge. Sipping at it, I read the newspaper. One headline caught my eye - 'One Direction working on new album?'  
I rolled my eyes, not bothering to read it. I already knew what the truth was, anyways. It was actually surprising how late the press found out about this.  
Another problem. The press. It was imperative to act secretly. None of us could bear it right now. My friends were foolproof, no worries. The main problem was that Zayn could be spotted. This had been the case for a month, but now I was really fretting about it. That was what I meant when I said I felt protective. I was constantly worried.  
I needed to get over it, period. This was not something I could control. I wasn't worried for myself; I was worried for him. I could handle it. I didn't want him to have to worry. But I couldn't stop being with him. This was still so new, but so real and vital to me. The most important factor for my survival.  
Before Zayn, my life had been not too bad. Ups and downs and all, but nothing too drastic. Now that I had him, that previous life seemed bland.  
I wondered how I was going to tell Lexie, Rob and Tanya. That might suck. I hardly knew if they were okay with Zayn being in my life. How would they feel if they knew he was a whole lot more to me? Or had they guessed already, like Zen had?

Night arrived. It was hardly eight when the intercom bell rang. I rushed to it, hoping this was just someone who had misdialled.  
I peered through the screen. Zayn. Oh, what was he doing here so early? I looked horrible right now. I hadn't even brushed my hair yet, and I was still in my old sweats. These were my favourite, but they were so ratty I had never worn them in front of Zayn. God. I hesitantly pressed the button.  
''Hey Anya, it's me. Open the door, love.''  
Something inside me melted. I buzzed him in and ran across to my bedroom. Shit, shit, shit. This was the first time I wished I'd lived higher up. It would hardly take him a minute to get here!  
I yanked a brush through my hair, but it was hopeless. I pulled them into a high ponytail atop my head. A light rap on the door made my heartbeat escalate.  
I walked to the door as slowly as I could bear. I opened it to a beaming and grinning Zayn.  
''Hi, love,'' he whispered, putting one hand on my hip and kissing my cheek gently. I pushed the door, closing it, as my senses threatened to overwhelme me.  
''Hi,'' I said breathlessly.  
He looked at me, puzzled.  
''See what you do to me. I can't even talk.''  
''Let's not talk, then.'' His voice was alluring and his demeanor even more so. I swallowed a lump in my throat as he cupped my face with both hands. Kissing me on the lips fully, he slowly moved the scorching touch of his lips to my jaw, moving to the edge slowly as my eyes fluttered. His lips reached my neck. His face nuzzled there, making me go crazy.  
My breath was rapid; it was the only audible sound in the room. As he burrowed his face there, I had an idea. His skin was inches away from my lips. I bent my neck slightly and pressed my lips to his skin there. Enjoying it entirely, he softly hummed in my ear.  
I felt naughty. Parting my lips slightly, I sucked on his neck. His humming turned into a louder moaning. Feeling entirely in control, I traced the shape of his arms, surprised by the strength they contained.  
''You drive me crazy, but in a good way,'' he breathed. I could tell he was trying to concentrate. ''Oh my God.''  
I reached his lips, snaking my tongue over them. He parted them slightly, inviting me. I kissed him, sucking on his lower lip. He grabbed me, pulling me even closer, until our bodies were crushed to each other. He plunged his tongue into my mouth.  
Ohhhh.......I lost all control. He pulled away too soon, holding me by my arms as I sagged against him, trying to get air. He was gasping, too.  
''Damn, girl, what are you doing to me? Jeez!'' he said incredulously.  
I laughed a shaky laugh. ''Did you feel....'' I searched for the right word, ''aroused?'' I lifted me head to scrutinize his face.  
''You have NO idea.''  
''Really?'' I was surprised.  
''You really have no idea how much power you have over me, do you, babe?''  
''Babe?'' I asked dreamily. The word flowed like honey through my ears.  
''Yeah. Babe, love, sweetheart, honey, whatever comes to my lips.'' He paused. ''Speaking of lips....''  
''You are so physical!''  
''Typical guy, right?''  
''Never. My Zayn, typical? Never.''  
''Say that again.''  
''My Zayn,'' I whispered. It did feel good to hear.  
''Yes. Your Zayn.''  
''And your Anya.''  
''My Anya. Mine.'' He seemed to glow when he said it.  
I smiled. ''Come on, I want to show you what I've been working on,'' I said, taking his hand, tethering my fingers to his.  
He followed, and one thing became clear.  
I wanted to be Zayn's Anya forever.


	22. 20. The Four-Lettered Word

Zayn's POV

Our hands linked together, I followed Anya through her house. We entered the bedroom. She got a file from her side table, resting it on the bed. It was thick and prett huge, to be honest. Pulling me down with her, we both sat down at the edge. She opened the file.  
''Every year, London University requires us to write a project on all of your subjects, together. Write what binds them together, makes them interesting to us. We have to literally pour our emotions into one file, fill pages and pages and give the readers a look into our hearts... It's THE reedeming feature.  
''This year, life was hard for me. The whole zero-inspiration thing, then Sean,'' she hissed, ''and then, meeting you,'' her voice softened. ''You're the best thing that ever happened to me.'' She looked up at me, touching her fingertips to my face. ''I want you to know that.''  
I felt so deeply moved I could not talk. I could not move. All I could do was to look in her light brown orbs.  
She broke the spell she had cast over me. ''I have a problem, though.''  
I gained the comprehension to speak. ''What is it?''  
''How do I depict you?''  
I blinked, trying to understand. Then it sunk in. ''Oh.''  
''Yeah. Help me here.''  
''I'll think of something.''  
''Look, anyways, I want to get it out there that I'm taken. But, I'll have to keep it mysterious. I can't just tell them about you,'' she mumbled.  
''I know. I'm sorry.''  
''What for?'' she demanded sharply. ''Zayn Malik, do not EVER let me hear you say you're sorry for being who you are. I don't want to hear it. Ever.''  
''You like me just the way I am, huh?''  
She softened again. ''This is definitely a lot more than simple liking.''  
I felt unsure, but in a good way. ''A lot more. So much more,'' I said with conviction. ''I feel it, but I don't have a word for it, Anya. I really don't.''  
Her soft gaze seemed to hold me in place. All I could think about was just crushing her body to mine. ''Neither do I.''  
I looked away, remembering what Li had said. I really didn't know, though. I didn't want to say those three magical words to this magical angel that sat in front of me until I was sure, and I could speak with conviction. I wanted to mean it so deeply, so entirely, that my emotions would ooze out of that one wonderful four-letter word that changed a person's world forever, never to change back.  
''Zayn?'' She coaxed me out of my thoughts. My eyes snapped back to her reeling beauty.  
''Sorry, I just zone out sometimes.''  
''Yeah. I know.''  
''You really know me, don't you?''  
''Hmmm. You know me, too.''  
''True.'' I thought of something. ''Did you tell your group yet that we're....'' I couldn't think of the right word. 'Together' seemed too passe.  
''Not yet. Zenith guessed, though. I simply nodded.''  
''That guy is intuitional.'' I was surprised.  
''Or just good at reading me. He's always been obsessed with finding a 'worthwhile' guy for me.''  
''And he thinks I'm it?''  
''He thinks you're up for the job,'' she amended. ''I think so, too.''  
''Now you're handing me bigger responsibilities.''  
''You can handle them, Zayn.''  
I had to look away from the fierceness of her face again. She just made me mad with desire. ''Tell me more about this project thing, though. Maybe I can help.''  
''Okay.'' She narrowed her eyes, knowing I was trying to change the topic. To my relief, she let it go and opened up the file. ''This is just the rough work, but tell me what you think.''  
The first few pages were full of designs to be used or chucked for the file, plans of borders, title pages, handwriting, colour palletes..... Anya had been working hard.  
The next section was of English. She had written a two essays, one for introduction and the other for conclusion, I presumed. Then there was some research on Christianity, one of her minors.  
''I haven't written my view yet,'' she interrupted. ''I haven't really gotten around to it.''  
I gave a nod, flipping onwards to get to her British History section. This one astonished me. She was good at this! She had encapsulated the entire history of Britain in one long timeline. Even though there were tonnes of footnotes, question marks and speculations on whether to omit or include something. It was fascinating.  
And then, the best part. Photography. The pages were filled with photos and captions, the colours shining with their eclectic hues. There were photos of everything - scenery, trees, sunrises, sunsets, dawns, twilights, this flat, the tulips I gave her......endless photos.  
''Why are you gawping?'' she asked.  
I realized my jaw was hanging open. I shut it. ''These are so beautiful, Anya. Priceless treasures. These are the best photos I've ever seen. You're so talented.''  
She blushed.  
Something came to mind. ''Oh, how do you take so many prints?''  
''I have a high quality printer at home, stocked with the paper.''  
''Really? It must cost a lot!'' I exclaimed.  
''Not really! Zenith's mother is in Hewlett-Packard. She gives us material for half price.''  
''Nice.''  
''Hmmm. Yeah.''  
''This is my favourite one,'' I said, pointing to the tulips.  
''Mine, too. Seems like a perfect combination, doesn't it? My vase, your tulips.''  
''Well, they're yours now,'' Zayn said. ''I gave them to you.''  
''Yeah, but if I'M yours, then everything that is mine is yours, too.''  
Somehow it felt as if I'd been waiting for these very words too long.  
Anya studied my face. ''You like that, don't you? Me being yours.''  
I nodded. ''You have NO IDEA how much I like it.''  
She smiled. ''I don't mind it, either.''  
I gave a grin. ''You remember how we used to sit in silence before?''  
''Mm.''  
''I want to do that again...'' I felt impulsive. ''This time, I'm taking you in my arms.''  
She turned pink, but said nothing as I shuffled closer to her and put my arms around her. She snuggled into my chest, pressing her face into my shirt. Her hands held my sides.  
I felt complete in that moment. Whole. Like I'd been in pain without even realizing it and her touch had made me glow. Her ear lay atop my heart. I knew it was beating faster than usual, just not that fast. She made my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.  
My world had shifted completely; it was so obvious now. I was different; this whole process washing over me was nothing I'd experienced before. I would never be the same, never be able to attain the persona I used to be. Not that that guy was someone I wanted to be, anyway. Not anymore.  
I knew it was the right time to say it. I had to say it. I needed to say it. I meant it with everything I had. My heart, my soul.  
''Anya?''  
''Yes?'' she mumbled into my chest.  
I swallowed a lump in my throat. Feeling me tense up, she straightened, looking at me.  
''What is it, Zayn?''  
I took a deep breath. ''I love you.''


	23. 21. Three Little Words

Zayn's POV

Anya stared at me. There was utter silence and the air was still. I was holding my breath.  
A tear slipped down Anya's cheek. ''Oh, Zayn, I love you, too.''  
Everything seemed to explode in that moment. Of course, nothing had changed in the world, but my world had exploded right now. The best kind of explosion there was. The only thing holding me back was that one tear. I wiped it away with my fingers.  
''I'm crying because I'm happy, Zayn. So happy....'' Elation robbed her of speech.  
''Me, too. But just don't let me see you cry. It kills me.''  
She nodded. ''I know. But you don't want me to keep secrets from you either.''  
''You're right,'' I brooded. ''I want to know everything.''  
''Then how about I tell you how I feel right now?''  
''Do tell. Please do tell,'' I said eagerly.  
''I feel love, Zayn. Emanating from you, from me. It's the best feeling in the world. Looking at your handsome face. Staring in those eyes of yours. That is the best feeling in the world. I feel loved.''  
''You're amazing,'' I breathed, leaning down to kiss her. Our lips touched, fireworks sizzled. I felt something changing inside me as our lips locked. I was changing. I would never be the same.  
This time it was Anya who induced the passion. Her tongue played on my lips, asking for permission to enter. I parted my mouth obediently. After all, I needed this just as much as she did.  
Our tongues melded hotly onto one another. There was a growing heat inside me, and I was close to losing my mind. I battled for control within myself. She made that hard.  
She pulled away, gasping for air. We were both out of breath. Resting her nose in the crook of my neck, she embraced me. I felt the silkiness of her skin on mine.  
''We should get this under control,'' she said.  
''No way. I loooove doing this,'' I protested.  
She laughed into my shoulder. ''You know I won't be able to push you away. I just want you so damn much. You take advantage of that. I can't even hate you for it.''  
''Oh, is that so?'' I said lightly.  
''Mmm,'' she mumbled into my shoulder.  
''Then maybe I should be asking for more.''  
''More?''  
''More than just kissing,'' I mocked. ''You know....'' I trailled off suggestively.  
She poked my stomach once with a long finger. ''Did your mind just go there, Mr Malik?'' Her voice was alluring. She was teasing me.  
''It goes there all the time. I'm a guy,'' I pointed out.  
''That's hardly an excuse.''  
''It's one I've got, so,'' I paused. ''And then there's the fact that you tease my every fantasy.''  
''Which fantasies are those?'' She looked into my eyes, daring me to confess.  
''They're really dirty,'' I warned. ''Do you really want to know?''  
''Hm. Maybe you can show me, then.''  
''Ooh. Naughty, are we?'' I speculated, enjoying the game. ''Well, then....''  
''Show me sometime LATER,'' she emphasized. ''We've got time, you know.''  
I shrugged. Now I wanted it too bad.  
''You sure you're under control?''  
I leered. ''I'll manage it. Until then....'' I pursed my lips.  
She groaned, but gave in to this helpless attraction-slash-addiction. I craved it, craved HER (both body and mind) and craved her love.

Anya's POV

''You have got to be kidding me!'' Lex screamed. She was so loud that probably the entire college heard her.  
''Calm down, Williams,'' Tanya said coolly. ''Take a drink or something.''  
Rob was calm as well. ''Well.....you guys seemed pretty close to each other. I'm not saying this is not astonishing. It is. I'm happy for you.''  
''Thanks, Rob,'' I said barely audibly.  
''I'm cool with it,'' Tanya drawled. ''You seem to have a lot in common. That's a good thing. Plus, he is much better than the bastard, Sean.''  
''That's what I said!'' Zenith exclaimed. He turned to me. ''See? This was easy.''  
''You're not the one I was worried about telling,'' I grumbled.  
''I'll be fine,'' Lex gasped, ''just give me a few days.''  
I gave a small nod. The bell rang, announcing the end of the lunch break. Rob & I walked to Christianity minor together.  
''I'm sorry about Lex back there,'' he apologized sincerely. ''She'll come around.''  
''She's a hyper one by nature,'' I shrugged.  
''Did he tell his friends?''  
''Thanks for not saying the name. And he's going to tell them today. Maybe he already has, I don't know. I'll find out how it went tonight.''  
''Good, good. Though I'm curious, whose idea was it that you guys tell?''  
''His, obviously. Rob, you already know that. He knows that we can't run around telling the whole world. So, he at least wants me to tell those who are close to me. And as for his friends, those guys had to be told. They would've harrassed it out of him otherwise.''  
He laughed. ''They're THAT bad?''  
''No, not really. They really love each other,'' I said affectionately.  
''Cute. You like the bromances they got going on, Anya?'' He playfully nudged my shoulder.  
''Yeah. They're just so awesome!''  
''And your guy is the awesomest, am I right?''  
''Uh-huh.'' We rounded the corner to our class. ''Time to immerse ourselves in the Bible.''  
''Odd, isn't it? That we're the ones taking the subject and not our Christian friends?''  
''Yeah, actually.'' Rob was a Jew and I was a Hindu by birth. ''I never thought about it that way before. Can I borrow your brain for a day?''  
''Sure. Though there's a lot of mumbo-jumbo in there you're probably going to get freaked out from.''  
''In mine, too.''  
''We're so weird.''  
''Don't even start,'' I grumbled, taking a seat in Christianity.

The rest of the day was pretty quick. Once we had sat through an hour of reading the Book of Job, Rob and I split up. I headed to History while he went to a double Biology. Good luck with that, Rob. In British History, we learnt about the life of Winston Churchill, the man who shaped the country, and was the only one who had been able to make Hitler run from his homeland. It was interesting, but my mind kept wandering back to what Rob had said. We're non-Christians, but we're studying Christianity. Was I uncomfortable with my religion?  
I didn't know the answer to that question. I did find it hard to believe that Hinduism had 330,000,000 gods that resided in every cow's stomach. That sounded like such hocus-pocus, I'd nearly given up on the whole institution of deities. I had no problem with religions, though. People could believe in whatever they wanted, but I would not be so conventional, probably. I was still figuring things out, and that was the way life was going to be a while. That's just what it's like in college. It's a journey of soul-searching.  
But now I knew where my soul rested. It rested with Zayn, wherever he may be. I was his; so completely his that I didn't even belong to myself anymore. I loved him with every fibre of my being, and I did not, COULD not, shy away from these feelings. They made me feel all magical and amazing, like fireworks, electricity, adrenaline and goosebumps rocking through me, all together. His touch was something else; my body reacted to him so oddly I could not create coherent thoughts. He filled and overloaded my senses to the point where I was entirely intoxicated by his presence. He made me feel unsure but I could never look away from his penetrating gaze. It seemed to hold me to Earth. I was floating away into a world of bliss where there was nothing else. Nothing but me, him and love.


	24. 22. Addicted To You

Anya's POV

I opened the door to a cheery but exhausted Zayn. ''Good evening,'' he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. ''I kind of missed you.'' He pulled back to look at me.  
''I kind of missed you, too.''  
He laughed. ''So... How did it go?''  
I knew what he was referring to. We both slumped down onto my couch, facing each other. He held my hand.  
''I can handle it.'' He was wary now.  
''It's nothing much to worry about,'' I said. ''I told them at lunch break without even saying your name. No one else said it either, so you're okay for now.''  
He was curious. ''How did they react?''  
''Pretty well, actually. Rob was calm as ever and Tanya was saying it was no surprise. You can imagine what Zenith said to that. But Lexie......she was pretty whacked out. She'll come around. Even Rob thinks so. I just hope she does it soon.''  
He turned thoughtful. ''Hmmm.''  
It was my turn to ask the questions now.''So? Tell me how it went!''  
''Amazingly, just like I told you it would,'' he said, flicking the tip of my nose with the tip of his forefinger. ''They already thought that it was going to happen, and now they have another reason to say 'I told you so'.''  
''Yeah.''  
''You know, maybe I did feel for you from the moment I saw you,'' he confessed. ''I just didn't know what it was exactly, and I did not want to risk our friendship later.''  
''Same here. You standing in my doorway took me by shock a little,'' I admitted. ''But yeah, I felt a connection even then.''  
''So we both felt something and never said for the longest time just because we didn't want to shatter our friendship?''  
''Odd, isn't it?'' I mused.  
''It's not like we're not odd, anyway,'' he explained.  
''No, you're right. Nothing about your life has been very normal.''  
''Neither has anything about yours,'' he added. ''But this is better, don't you think? Us being together, levelling our rarities much higher.''  
''Mm. Who wants to be normal? Normal is boring,'' I snorted.  
''Oh yes. Even though we sometimes get criticized for being different, it's just who we are. Like my tattoos. Everyone just calls me a freak.''  
''Not everyone,'' I said softly, stroking his arm. ''You have your family, your friends, Paul, Simon Cowell.....they love you just the way you are.''  
''I don't know about the first part,'' he sighed.  
This worried me. ''It's still not getting better?''  
''No. Mum's pissed because I keep hurting Dad. And I don't know how to make them happy anymore.'' He turned his head away.  
''Come on, Zayn. They love you. It's going to be okay. Their son is far away from them. How do you think they feel?''  
He looked at me with glassy eyes. ''What would I do without you?''  
I attempted to alleviate the atmosphere. ''I honestly have no idea.''  
It worked, and he smiled at me. ''I might have people who love me, but the only person I really care about is you.''  
I blushed. ''Gee, you know how to make a girl feel good, don't you?''  
''It's an occupational hazard,'' he grinned. ''Gotta keep the ladies happy.''  
''Well, you're hazardous to my health. My educational health, that is. Do you know that I have no idea what the professors have been teaching in college for the past week? I just daydream about you all day.''  
''Oh you do, huh?'' he teased. ''Me, too.''  
''We're addicted to each other,'' I pointed out.  
''Well, yeah. It's not so bad, though, huh?''  
''Mm.''  
He studied my face. ''Is something bothering you, Anya?''  
''Yes, actually. You know that one of my minors is Christianity, right? So, in my group, the only other person with the minor is Rob. But we're not even Christians. He's Jewish, and I'm, well, confused.''  
''I don't think there's a religion called 'confused','' he chuckled.  
I let it pass. ''But don't even tell me about your doubts.''  
''I have doubts. Too many of them. My life has been a religion-wreck. I'm just lost with that.''  
''But you can't let go.''  
''But I can't let go,'' he sighed. ''I'm never going to be able to. Not unless something big happens and I'm forced to. Even then, it won't be easy for me.''  
''You won't have to, trust me. I won't let that happen.'' I hugged him in an attempt to comfort him. He melted against me.  
''I love you,'' he said softly.  
''I love you, Zayn.''  
''It's all I need.''  
Silence descended. I was content with holding him in my arms; it felt good to be needed by Zayn. He relaxed slowly, gently pressing his face into my hair and inhaling deeply.  
''What? You like the way my hair smells?''  
''I love it,'' he whispered. ''It smells so wonderful. Like tulips and fuchsia.''  
''That might be because my shampoo smells like tulips and my conditioner like fuchsia.''  
''Never change your shampoo and conditioner, then.''  
I giggled. ''Yeah. My boyfriend likes the fragrance of my shampoo and conditioner, why would I even think of changing them then?''  
''Mmm. I like the sound of that word.''  
''Boyfriend?''  
''Oh yeah.''  
''I thought you wouldn't like being called a boy.''  
''Not in this case. Though I am not a boy!'' he objected.  
''No, you're not just a boy, anymore. You're a man, Zayn.'' I burrowed my head in the crook of his neck. I loved doing that.  
''You drive me crazy.''  
''Want me to drive you crazier?''  
''I would love that, you know, Anya. But I need to give you a fair warning.''  
''Which is what?''  
''I might get a little overexcited.'' He already had trouble breathing.  
''Oh yeah?'' I brought my lips to his ear.  
''Yeah,'' he gulped.  
I flicked my tongue over the skin behind his ear, blowing on it. Nibbling on his ear, I reached the square of his jaw, sucking on the skin there. His stubble was rubbing against my face, turning me on. His breathing was heavy, laboured. Suddenly, he grabbed my face and brought it to his. ''By God, you're sexy.'' Before I could react, he captured my mouth in a hot kiss that burned right through me. We pulled away at the same moment.  
''Ohhh......'' It was hard to form coherent thoughts.  
''Yeah.''  
''You are so hot.''  
''Yeah?''  
''You have a doubt?'' I gave him an incredulous look. ''Just look at you.''  
''Looks can be deceiving,'' he warned.  
''Even though you're sexy as hell, that's not what I meant. I love the person inside, Zayn. The exterior being so appealing doesn't hurt, though,'' I brushed it off.  
''It doesn't hurt, huh? People think I'm so vain and obsessed with how I look. They don't know me. Inside, I don't like myself. I'm a horrible person.'' He held his head in his hands.  
''Hey, hey, don't say that,'' I moaned. ''You're beautiful, inside and outside. Everyone makes mistakes. I don't love you despite them, but BECAUSE of them. They make you who you are.''  
He looked up at me. ''You like my scars?''  
I shrugged. ''I love you, Zayn, and I need to say it a million times before you believe it, huh? Sure, I wish you would be less hurt, but I can't change that.''  
''You're healing me.'' He gripped my hand. ''I need you.''  
I palmed his face, feeling protective. ''I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. If anyone wants me to leave, they're going to have to drag me out.''  
He smiled. ''Same here.''  
I changed the topic. ''Want anything to drink?''  
''You have something that has no calories, no fat and no sugar?''  
''I thought I'm the one who watches my weight like a hawk.''  
''Nope,'' he grinned. ''I totally do that.''  
''Yeah, ha. I guess we're both pretty obsessed with our looks, huh?'' Getting up, I looked in the refridgerator. ''Water?''  
He chuckled. ''Sure.'' He walked to the dining counter, sitting on his usual stool. He seemed to light up the room.  
We sipped at our waters. ''Can you believe it's only been five and a half weeks?'' he asked. ''We met only five and a half weeks ago. We sat right here, introducing ourselves. And look at us now. Crazily in love.''  
''Twists of fate,'' I mumbled. ''It's the only way to explain it.''  
''Well, whatever it is,'' he said, ''It doesn't matter. I love you.''  
''I love you, too.''


	25. 23. Good And Bad

Anya's POV

Life had not been this good to me before. I could experience everything I'd been missing out on. I was feeling loved, protected and cared for. Zayn was constantly in my thoughts, making it harder to concentrate on other things. However, I still managed to work. After all, if there had to be any distraction from studying, it was best it was Zayn, even enjoyable.  
I hadn't even known what I'd been missing before this. These feelings, these moods that ran through me, who knew they could be so good?  
My college and assignments were steadily getting finished. I didn't try to do too much in one day, because I knew it stressed me out. I didn't want to worry Zayn.  
Photographing was becoming quick. I just looked at something and knew it had to be immortalized on celluloid. I didn't need to go out much to the countryside anymore, finding inspiration closer to home. I usually only went out on Saturdays and spent the Sundays either in London or simply at home. At least, that was now the plan.  
I shared my doubts with Zayn. He was still quite confused as to how come I had so many doubts about my own talent. I was perfection incarnated to him. As if I could be.  
Though he was good at giving me advice, I knew Zayn worried for me. Hopefully, we had got rid of Sean permanently, but it was a bitch to just sit around and do nothing. What if he tried to pull off something or tried to hurt me, or worse, Zayn? Just thinking about it stressed me out.  
I was seriously contemplating going to the police, to fuck with what my parents would think or say. I was tired of living in fear for me, and most importantly, the one person I would die without, and I wanted to end this, for once and for all.  
Today, Zayn and I were going to go to his house, the place I'd been once before. He said the guys had been badgering him forever to meet me again, and he was starting to cave. I was fine with it. They were pretty crazy, but I really enjoyed hanging out with them. This time, though, I was going as Zayn's girlfriend.

I got off the Tube, walking up and to the house. Last time, I had travelled by car, but this time, I wanted to go on my own. I didn't need to be picked up all the time.  
The walk was a mile long, but I was fine with it. When I saw the house, I could see a tall, hefty figurine at the gate. As I got closer, I realized it was Paul.  
''Hi,'' I said, feeling shy all of a sudden.  
''Hello, Anya. Good to see you,'' he said as we both walked in.  
''Good to see you, too. I hope I'm not too early.''  
''No, don't worry. Zayn's been waiting. The rest of them aren't ready, though. They just woke up.''  
We both laughed.  
''I've never said thank you for healing Zayn. He's a son to me. They all are. He was having such a hard time.''  
''I didn't do anything.''  
'''But you were the only one who got to him.''  
I shrugged. ''I was the only one who he felt like opening up to.''  
We reached the house. ''Zayn!'' Paul boomed.  
He walked down the stairs almost immediately, almost running. He stopped in front of me, appraising me with his eyes. I was wearing a light cream-coloured dress that reached my knees. I was checking him out, too. He was in his usual attire : a skinny jeans and white shirt with a blue streak across it.  
Paul excused himself, and then we were alone in the huge hall.  
''Hey,'' he whispered in the silence. Suddenly there was a loud clattering from the kitchen. We both jumped a little.  
''What's going on?''  
''The guys.....probably just going crazy. Come on, let's take a look.'' He took my hand and we walked together to the kitchen.  
When we got there, we found out what had gone down. The guys were all bickering, yelling at each other over what seemed like a burnt pancake. Zayn whistled loudly, and they fell silent.  
''We're so sorry,'' Liam said, recovering. ''Hi, Anya. It's just crazy in here today.''  
''I can see that. I thought none of you could cook.''  
''We can't,'' Niall said morosely. ''But I'm hungry!''  
I laughed. ''Shall I make the pancakes?''  
''You don't have to,'' Zayn objected.  
I looked at him. ''But I want to.''  
''Okay, fine.'' He sounded exasperated.  
I took it as my cue, stepping towards the counter. ''You guys are going to have to tell me where everything is, though.''  
''Sure, Anya,'' Louis said cheerily. ''How are you?''  
''Pretty well, Louis. Thanks for asking.''  
''Please, call me Lou. Or anything but Boo.''  
''Sure, Lou,'' I grinned. ''Now, are you hungry, guys?''  
''Yes!'' all but Zayn chorused. He was giving me a 'whatever' look. I'd have to ask him about it later.  
''Good.'' I turned to the cupboards. ''Now, it seems you have taken every ingredient out. Tell me where I can find two pans and a bowl.''  
''Top shelf,'' Harry said, speaking for the first time since my arrival. ''Good to see you.''  
''I'd say the same, but you sound tired.''  
''Skyping with Kendall,'' he explained.  
''Ah ha! Knew it!'' Lou screamed.  
''Stop shouting,'' Zayn sighed.  
''It's fine, I don't mind it,'' I said. ''It's nice.''  
''You're not going to say that once you spend too long with us. A few days, and you'll be running,'' Liam warned.  
Niall shrugged. ''Yeah. We're baaad.''  
''Oh yeah? We'll see.'' I got all the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl and attacked it with a spatula. I could feel ten eyes on me as I put both pans on medium heat and checked the consistency of the batter.  
''You're going to have to teach us how to cook,'' Niall said. ''I'm so hungry all the time, I should learn.''  
''Never thought I'd hear you say that,'' Lou groaned.  
''It's true, though.'' This was Harry.  
I was up for it. ''Sure. I'd like that.'' Quickly pouring batter on both pans, I hunted for some dishes. ''If ya want chocolate or what-not sauce, I don't know where it is.''  
They all laughed, and I caught Zayn relaxing. It was really bugging me. What had gone wrong? At least everything seemed fine right now.  
''Here,'' I said, flipping two pancakes on a plate. ''Eat.''  
They all started bickering for who would eat them. Finally, I interceded.  
''COOL it!'' I shouted. ''Everyone can have half while I make some more. Share, people.''  
They looked at me, dumbfounded.  
''What are you staring at? I thought you were hungry.''  
They silently halved the pancakes and each took a piece. Zayn was suppressing a smile. I eyed him.  
''What?'' I asked.  
''You're amazing.'' His face expressed wonderment.  
I could feel myself heating up. ''I do what I can.''  
''You can do everything.'' Zayn seemed to have forgotten we were not alone. I quickly flipped the pancakes, just in time. They were quite brown, but not too much.  
It took a long time, nearly an hour. They often offered me a pancake, but I said no, I was full. Then they had an idea. Zayn could always feed me.  
That one lasted long. We were both pretty fed up by the teasing. They ganged up on us pretty bad.  
It was afternoon and we'd just had lunch (one of the guards had fetched take-away from Nando's) when my phone rang.  
''Hello?'' I shouted through the boister around me.  
''Hey, it's Tanya.'' She sounded worried.  
''What happened? Is everything okay?''  
''Um. I don't even know how to tell you this.''  
''What?'' I could feel Zayn's eyes on me, expressing growing concern.  
''Rob and Lex were in a car accident.''  
''Oh my God. Are they okay?''  
''I don't know. They're both in the hospital and I'm going over there now. Zen's there.''  
''I'm coming,'' I choked out, the tears starting to fall. I cut the call numbly.  
''Anya?'' Zayn made his way over to me. ''What's wrong?'' He put one arm around me.  
''Lex and Rob...'' I sobbed. ''They were in a car accident.''  
''They'll be fine. They're strong,'' he said in a soothing voice with an edge of surprise. ''Come on, I'll drive you there.''  
He stood up with me. ''I'll see you later, guys,'' I said in a daze, as they all gave nods. Zayn and I reached the cars.  
''Anya, everything will be fine. Trust me.''  
I looked at him with glassy eyes.  
''Shh. It's going to be okay. Just let it all out.''  
That was all I needed. To fall apart. I buried my face in his chest and wetted his shirt with my tears.


	26. 24. Gripping Pain

Anya's POV

I felt worse without the comforting touch of Zayn. I stumbled into the hospital numbly, reaching the reception.  
''Um, I'm a friend of Lexie Williams and Robert Tate. Could you please tell me where to find them?''  
The receptionist said, ''Just a minute,'' sleepily. What I would give to pass out right now. ''Just behind this-'' she pointed to a door in the corner- ''is the trauma room. They're still there, apparently.''  
''Thank you,'' I said shakily, stepping to the door. When I pushed it open, I nearly got shoved. The area was crowded and loud. I could hear the loud screams and moans of the patients and the louder commands of doctors screaming injuries to each other. I felt half-gone as I walked to the desk in the centre of the room. ''Excuse me.''  
The intern turned. ''Yes?''  
''I'm looking for Lexie Williams and Robert Tate.'' I sounded horrible.  
''Yeah, they came in an hour ago. Miss Williams is still here and Mr Tate is in surgery at the moment.''  
The blood drained from my face. ''How are they?''   
He sighed. ''You'd better talk to the attending who took them in.'' He led me to one of the drawn curtains. Lexie was lying on the bed with an angry gash on her forehead, a couple of bruises on her arm. An IV dripped into her arm.  
''An-ya,'' she croaked out.  
I swallowed a lump. ''How are you?'' I held her hand.  
''My, head, hurts. I, can't, sleep, but, I, want, to.''  
I turned to the intern. ''She has a concussion?''  
He nodded impassively. ''She needs a lot of rest, but she'll be fine. I'll get you the doctor.''  
''How's, Rob?'' she panted.  
''I'd better get the attending, Miss. He knows more than I do.'' He was gone before I could stop him. Lexie started crying. I held onto her, trying not to let the tears fall.  
A tall doctor stepped in. ''How are you feeling now, Miss Williams?'' he asked in a kind voice.  
''My head,'' she sobbed.  
''I'm sorry, but I can't give you any painkillers,'' he said. ''Your wound needs to heal first. You're going to be fine.''  
She looked at him helplessly.  
The doctor turned to me. ''Can I talk to you?''  
I nodded, letting go of Lex. ''I'm right here,'' I said quietly when she whimpered.  
The doctor took me to the waiting lounge. ''I have already talked to Mr Stone, and I presume you're Ms Singh?''  
I nodded. ''Please tell me the truth. Is something wrong with Rob?''  
He sighed. ''I'm sorry, but I really don't know. I'm just a trauma doctor. But I'll tell you what I know.  
''Mr Tate is in a fragile condition. He has suffered a huge amount of blood loss and he doesn't seem to stop bleeding. He has a lot of broken bones, too. His skull is fractured, too. There may be temporary or permanent neurological damage. We'll know once he wakes up.''  
I was nearly broken. ''What's the worst case scenario, Doctor....''  
''Doctor Ryan. The worst case scenario is something I don't even want to tell you. But I promised to speak the truth. Ms Singh, he may die on the table. In surgery.''  
I sucked in a deep breath, talking through my tears. ''How long has he been in there?''  
''More than 45 minutes. The surgeons were quick in getting him in the OR. I really can't say how much longer it will take them. Maybe I could send a surgical intern to find out for you?'' he suggested.  
''Please do.'' I started crying with much more force. Doctor Ryan stroked my shoulder.  
After what seemed like an eternity, the intern came back. ''Mr Tate is out of surgery. He made it, but we still don't know about brain damage. He's most definitely not out of the woods.''  
I held my head in my hands. Someone embraced me from the side. Zenith. I cried into his shoulder.

Zayn's POV

It had been four days since Lexie and Rob's accident. Anya had hardly left the hospital. I was worried for her. She was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to keep her together. She didn't answer my calls. She only texted. She said that she would cry if she heard my voice.  
I wanted to do something for her, but she wasn't going home. I didn't know how.  
Then Louis had an idea. He told me to slip into the hospital at night wearing a hoodie, wig and a fake beard. I had done what he had said, and I had to admit, I looked so different I felt confident I could pull this off.  
I got into my car, driving rashly to cover a road that would've taken me 20 minutes if I would've obeyed rules and covered it in 10. Half-time was not bad.  
I already knew which room it was and also knew where Anya would be right now. Visiting hours were over, but she would be sitting in the ICU lounge, staring at the wall. I sprinted up the stairs, reaching the lounge. She was alone. With her back to me, she sat there, unmoving. Just looking at her like that was torture to me.  
I started in her direction. When I sat down next to her, she looked at me rudely. ''There's so many empty chairs here, sir, why are you sitting next to me?''  
''You looked like you could use some help.''  
She recognized my voice immediately, throwing her arms around my neck and sobbing into my shoulder. I held her as she said my name repeatedly.  
''I thought you would be pissed I came,'' I said.  
She looked up at me with her tear-streaked face. ''I am a little bit, but I'm more glad. I need you so much right now.''  
''How are they?''  
''Lex is already discharged. She went home. Rob has not woken up yet.'' With that, she started to cry again.  
''Hey, hey, beautiful, look at me,'' I soothed. ''He's a strong guy. He'll make it.''  
''But I'm scared, Zayn.''  
''I'm right here.''  
She clung to me tighter.  
''I'm never leaving.''  
She nodded, finally releasing her grip. Don't get me wrong, I loved it when she held me, but this was for all the wrong reasons. We simply sat there, as she cried out all the pain she felt, and I held her through it. It took a long time.  
''Thanks for being here,'' she said once her tears had dried.  
''Where else would I be?''  
She smiled faintly. ''That's what makes you that guy.''  
''I'm very glad I'm that guy. He has a hell of a rep.''  
This time, her smile was more genuine. We got caught up in our own little world.  
A nurse burst the bubble. ''Ms Singh?''  
Her eyes snapped from mine to hers. ''Yes?''  
''Mr Tate is awake. He's asking for you.''  
Anya looked at me, her eyes already filling with tears. These tears did not pain me, for they were of happiness.  
'Thank the heavens', I thought. 'Now my Anya will be in no more pain'.


	27. 25. Relief and Comfort

Anya's POV

''Go, I'll be at your place,'' Zayn whispered, taking the key from my hand. ''And then you can tell me all about it.''  
''Okay,'' I nodded. He turned to leave. ''Wait.''  
He turned. ''Yes?''  
''I love you.''  
He smiled through the beard. ''I love you, too.''  
''That's the one thing that keeps me going.''  
''Me, too.'' He left then, and I turned to the ICU. Rob was in room 2.  
I was not prepared for what I saw. Rob was completely flat on the table, his body so still he didn't even look alive. There was a loud beeping from the heart monitor, and a buzzing sound from the brain activity instrument. His whole body was covered, so I couldn't see the scars and bruises. There was a breathing tube under his nose. His eyes were half-open.  
''Rob,'' I whispered, for fear of breaking again.  
''Anya,'' he breathed. ''Everything hurts.''  
''Shhh,'' I soothed, ''everything is going to be fine. You're going to be all right.''  
''Where's everyone else? What day is it? How long have I been out?''  
''Relax. You're tensing up. I'll tell you everything. First tell me how you feel.''  
''I'm in pain. I'm not going to lie. My head is pounding real hard. I know it's not good. I'm a student of biology. I know this much.''  
I sighed. ''Maybe you know too much. Okay, anything else?''  
''I can move, but I'm really stiff and it hurts too much. So I'm staying still for a while. Tell me everything.'' He gave me an unwavering stare. ''Don't lie to me.''  
''Okay. What's the last thing you remember?''  
He thought about it. I was holding my breath. ''Lex and I were in the car, driving to the hill for a couple's picnic. We were arguing....about something. And then everything goes blank.''  
I nearly sagged to the ground with relief. At least he hadn't lost his memory. ''You two were arguing about studying. You said that your career was important to you and you wanted to increase on your study time. She didn't understand and took it in the wrong way. A large truck was coming off the junction at the time. It was going too fast and it hit your car. Since it hit on the right, you suffered worse injuries than Lexie.  
''Lexie is fine now. She's out of the hospital and at home at the moment. She'll come see you in the morning.  
''You've been unconscious for four and a half days, Rob. We were so worried. The doctors were quite concerned about neurological damage. You have no idea what kind of hell we've been through.''  
''I'm truly sorry. It's all my fault.''  
''Don't say that. It's actually the truck driver's fault. He was drinking and driving. He has been arrested. Luckily, there was a CCTV camera that captured the accident.''  
He swallowed noisily. ''Are you guys okay?''  
''Don't worry about us. We're worried about you. Once you're fine, we'll be, too.''  
''I do have a lot of healing to do.''  
''We're right here to support you through it.''  
A doctor swooshed in. It was Dr Pysom, one of the many doctors I'd met during the past four days. ''Ms Singh,'' he nodded.  
''Hey, doc,'' Rob moaned. ''I hope you're going to give me something to ease the pain.''  
Dr Pysom smiled. ''Actually, in a few minutes, Mr Tate. First, I need to ask you some questions and do some basic examination.''  
''Go ahead and hurry up.'' For Rob to be rushing a doctor, he had to be in a LOT of pain.  
Dr Pysom asked him basic questions about how he was feeling, asked about mobility and checked his sense responses. Once he was done, he said, ''You'll be fine. It'll just take a while.'' He then got the nurse to give Rob a standard sedative so that he could get some rest. Rob could not fall asleep with his head pounding.  
As Rob fell back asleep, he mumbled, ''You're the best friend I ever had.''  
I was still processing that as Rob's breathing became slower, deeper. I gazed at his sleeping face for a while. Then I remembered that Zayn was waiting for me.  
I got home twenty minutes later, entering with my spare set of keys. Zayn was in the kitchen, singing to himself. I recognized the song immediately.  
''You and I, we don't wanna be like them, we can make it till the end, nothing can come between, you and I, not even the Gods above, can separate the two of us.'' At that moment, he spotted me. I was looking at him affectionately. ''You look tired.'' He made his way over to me, taking my bag and putting it on the table. A tear slipped down my cheek. ''What's wrong?''  
The waterworks escalated. ''Nothing. Nothing.'' I held onto him. ''Rob said that I was the best friend he ever had,'' I sobbed.  
He held me back. ''Well, I'm not surprised.''  
''Not everyone is in love with me, you know.''  
''But he does love you, Anya. They all do. I can see that.''  
I looked at him.  
''Come on, eat something.''  
I stared blankly. ''You cooked?''  
He laughed. ''Actually, no. I talked to your friend, Tanya, and went to that place you worked. The breakfast place down the road. I got some food for you. Lily says feel better.''  
I gave him a look. ''You actually went there?''  
''Yeah,'' he shrugged. ''What's the big deal?''  
''The fact that you went there all by yourself without any protection!'' I screamed. ''What if someone would've recognized you, Zayn?''  
''I was still wearing my disguise,'' he muttered. ''And I did it for you. You've been through a lot.''  
I softened. ''Okay. I'll bite.''  
I slumped down onto the comfort of my couch. ''What will I have to eat?''  
''Your favourite stuff, from what Tanya tells me.''  
''Which is...?'' I challenged.  
''Chicken wings, potato wedges, lasagna....I will continue if you make me.''  
''Okay, fine. You got me.''  
''Sooo.....take some chickeny goodness.'' He put a tray of chicken wings in front of me. ''Be bad, eat on the sofa.''  
I giggled. ''Okay!'' I chewed slowly, savouring the taste. ''Lil's the best cook I've ever met.''  
''Wow, maybe I should get some food for the guys from there on my way home.''  
''Why don't you taste some?'' I tore off some flesh off the bone in my hand, feeding him. He chewed, sucking on my fingertip.  
''I don't know what's tastier,'' he said, ''you or this chicken.''  
I wagged an eyebrow at him. ''You do love chicken.''  
''I love ya more.''  
I looked away, eating. I got through quite an amount of potato wedges and wings before I was full. ''I can't eat any more.''  
''Here, let me.'' He took the plate and containers away, dumping the plate in the sink. I watched him work as he removed the remaining food into bowls and stowed them away in the fridge. He even washed the plate. ''You should get some rest.''  
''I don't think I'm going to be able to go to sleep while you're here,'' I guffawed.  
''Would that be awkward?''  
''Yeah!''  
''Well, how about I hold you till you do? I'll sing to you.''  
I melted on the inside. ''I might not be able to, then. You singing is something I can't miss out on.''  
''Shoo! Go change, unless you want me to watch,'' he suggested naughtily.  
''Zayn!'' I complained, strutting towards the bedroom quickly. I stripped in a rush, wearing blue yoga pants and a grey tee. I opened the door again, letting my hair loose, tousling it with my hand. Zayn stood in the doorway.  
''Your hair drives me crazy,'' he said.  
''Oh yeah?''  
''YOU drive me crazy.''  
I raised an eyebrow.  
''We'll get into it later.''  
I got on the bed, lying down. Zayn slipped his shoes off, getting down next to me. He came closer and I snuggled into him. ''I love you.''  
''I love you. Now sleep.'' He started humming 'What Makes You Beautiful'. I succumbed to sleep in his arms.


	28. 26. No Matter What

Zayn's POV

I gazed at Anya's face as she slept, all the pain and worries gone. She looked peaceful, almost serene, like an untouched angel. She had shaped herself to fit around me, and she fit perfectly. Her hair lay behind her, a tangle of wavy brown. It framed her delicate face. It shone in the dim light.  
It would be morning soon. I would probably have to leave. The guys were expecting me. Paul was going to scream. A lot. Well, he wasn't wrong. I could see where he was coming from.  
I sighed to myself, reminiscing. Somewhere in that, my phone started ringing. Anya stirred. I hastily answered.  
''Zayn?'' It was Harry. ''Are you okay?''  
''I'm fine, Haz. I didn't get caught or anything. Don't worry.''  
''You need to get your butt here.''  
''Why?''  
''Paul,'' he said his name like an expletive.  
''Yeah. Okay, I'm coming.''  
''Come fast. He's yelling at us as to why we let you go in the first place.''  
''I'm coming,'' I repeated. I hung up the phone, extracting myself from Anya. She didn't move. I covered her with the blanket, drew the curtains and wrote her a note for her to read once she woke up. I turned around and left.  
When I got home, the silence was eminent. Paul was standing in the hall, heaving deep breaths. I got in, cringing mentally already.  
''What in God's name did you think you were doing?'' he shouted in my face. He was glowering.  
''I'm sorry. She needed me, Paul. I won't let my fame get in the way of my relationship.''  
''But it will,'' he said, exasperated. ''That's the whole point.''  
''I know. Would you blame a guy for trying?''  
He seemed to melt. ''Okay, fine, Zayn. Do it again, and I'm telling Simon.''  
''Deal,'' I grinned.  
''Though Goddammit, you scared me.''  
''Sorry.''  
''Fine. Go get some rest.'' His voice became authoritative. I complied, going to my room. My band mates were all there.  
''Would ya let a fellow get some sleep?'' I yawned on purpose.  
''Sure. AFTER you tell us how she is,'' Harry stated.  
''Unngh,'' I groaned. ''She's okay. Now. Rob even woke up.''  
The expressions on their faces lifted.  
''Can I sleep now?'' I asked. ''I'm tired.''  
''Yeah. Sure,'' they all mumbled, letting me be. I took my clothes off and fell asleep in my boxers.

I woke up with a start. Harry was staring at me, sitting on the edge of my bed. He was holding my phone. That woke me up a helluva lot faster than usual.  
''What the hell are you doing with my phone?'' I demanded.  
''It was ringing,'' he said unapologetically. ''I was about to answer it when it went to voicemail.''  
''Who was it?''  
''Anya.''  
''Oh my God. I'm going to kill you, Harry. What did she say?''  
''You listen yourself.'' He replayed the message.  
''Hi, Zayn. I didn't realize you were sleeping. I hope Paul didn't give you a lot of grief over the thing. I'm fine now. I know you're concerned. I'm going to the hospital now. I'll be home by 8. See you then. Love you. Bye.''  
''What are you not telling me?'' Haz narrowed his eyes.  
''It's not what you think, trust me,'' I pleaded. ''We haven't slept together.''  
''Yet,'' he snorted.  
I shrugged. ''I actually stayed until she fell asleep.''  
''Wow! You're so in love.''  
''Yeah,'' I smiled. ''What about you?''  
''What about me?'' he kid, but was then serious. ''I don't know. Kendall's definitely not 'the one'. Not for me. But she's very nice. I like her and we have a lot in common.''  
''Good for you. Hopefully it lasts a while at least. I am not going to be able to handle you drinking like a hobo right now.''  
''I drink like a hobo?'' he asked incredulously.  
''You do.''  
''I do not!'' he wailed like a little kid.  
''Whatever you say, Styles,'' I said, giving in. ''I'll take a shower or something.'' I threw the covers away and got up.  
''Um, Zayn, maybe you could wrap a towel or something?''  
I looked down at myself only to realize I was only wearing my boxers. ''What? You've seen more of me than this anyway.''  
''Whatever,'' he muttered, walking out. I rolled my eyes. He probably had a bicker with Gemma or his mum. He became a sop when that happened.  
I took a quick shower, not bothering to wash my hair. Once I was done, I dried myself and called Anya. She answered on the second ring.  
''Wow, that was quick,'' I commented.  
''It's a hospital. I should not be disturbing patients just because I want to talk to my boyfriend,'' she said sarcastically.  
''Ha. Soo....is that an early invitation tonight I heard in your voicemail?''  
''In your dreams, kid,'' she snorted.  
''Kid? Now I feel offended.''  
''I'm glad you got the message. Come over when you want to. I still have that lasagna in the fridge,'' she invited.  
''Interesting. You know I'm always hungry and looking for healthy stuff. But, you know, Anya, I'd much rather eat something cooked by those soft hands of yours,'' I propositioned.  
''Hmm. I'm going to have to think about that one.''  
''Oh yeah?'' I challenged.  
''Here's my proposal for you. Come over and have that yum lasagna with me tonight, and I'll make you a chicken dinner tomorrow night.''  
''Deal,'' I grinned.  
''Great. I'll see you then?''  
''I'll see you. Love you.''  
''Love you, too. Bye.''  
''Bye.''

Anya's POV

I cut the call, walking back inside the hospital. Rob was staring at Lexie and Lexie was staring at Rob. She was also crying.  
I didn't dare interrupt their moment, picking my bag up and heading out. I needed a tea or something. I went to the cafe down the road, ordering a black tea. I sat down on a corner table, looking out the window. The scene was typical London; this city really never would change. This place felt like home more than any other ever had. With everything I loved around me, it was easy to feel happy.  
Happiness. How could one describe it? It made me feel alive. Everyone found happiness from different things. How could one person descibe the universal concept of that feeling? It was unique for each person.  
I knew where my happiness rested. It rested in this city, in my home, with my friends, with Zayn. Above all, with Zayn. He was the most important person in my life.  
I had never imagined that I could be capable of loving so much. Of being who I now was. I had never thought I would be so metamorphosed just because of one person. One, just one guy had become my whole world.  
And now he wanted to eat a dinner cooked by my hands. That was scary. It wasn't that I couldn't cook. It just was that I was scared. I knew he had a lot of expectations from me. I had cooked a zillion pancakes for his band mates last week, and now he knew I was capable. So I had no excuse to tank on this one.  
God be with me.


	29. 27. The Talk

Anya's POV

It was quarter to eight when I got home. Zayn was never late when coming to my house, so I rushed to change. I put on a simple white full-sleeved top and classic blue jeans. I let my hair loose, allowing them to hang free after a day of being tied up.  
I cut up the lasagna into regular square blocks, heating them in the oven. Setting two plates on the counter, I got out two beers from the cooler, thinking water was much too passe a drink. Today was going to be easy compared to tomorrow. I could NOT believe Zayn wanted me to cook for him. Seriously? Seriously?  
The intercom rang, and I buzzed Zayn in. Checking my hair in the mirror, I opened the door.  
Zayn looked like he'd polished his face. It was shining. His hair was immaculately styled, to perfection. He gave me that dazzling smile of his, making me swoon internally. He walked in, closing the door behind him.  
He smiled at me, kissing my cheek. ''Good evening, my love,'' he greeted in a sultry voice.  
''Good evening,'' I replied. ''Dinner is ready.''  
''Hmmm. I am much more interested in eating tomorrow's dinner right now. You know, the one you're going to cook for me?'' he suggested lightly.  
''You'll get tomorrow's dinner tomorrow,'' I said firmly.  
''My Anya, the enforcer of rules.''  
''Hardly possible,'' I snorted. ''Come on, I'm hungry.''  
He took off his thin jacket and sat down. It was impossible not to notice those biceps staring at me. I snapped out of my inappropriate staring and served dinner. We both dug in at the same time.  
''Mmm....'' I said, savouring the taste. Chicken, onion, garlic, tomato, oregano, cheese and pasta swirled in my mouth in the most perfect combination.  
''You were not kidding,'' Zayn said between morsels. ''This is the best lasagna I've ever had.''  
''Ah, but that might also be because it contains your guilty pleasure, chicken.''  
''Maybe.''  
We continued to eat in silence. We didn't stop until we had finished the whole thing.  
''That was good,'' Zayn burped, laughing at himself. ''Sorry.''  
''I don't mind, as long as you don't burp while I'm kissing you.''  
His eyes glinted. ''And when are you going to do that?''  
''Now.'' I pushed the plates away and leaned closer to him on the counter. He took my face in both hands and beckoned me. I reached his lips, finally, pressing my own to them. For a small while, that was enough to satiate both of us. Not for long, though.  
It was Zayn who lost his patience first. He pulled me towards him. I climbed up on the counter, not hesitating. Once I was fully seated, he tugged at my waist. Crushing our bodies together, I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands were everywhere. My hands were everywhere.  
As his lips travelled down my neck, I grabbed his hair in fistfuls, unable to control this impulse. He sucked on the skin at my shoulder, making my heart hammer louder than before, and awakening a very different sense in my body. It poured through me, and this was not enough. I needed more, needed him, needed to be one with him.  
He looked up at me with dark, hungry eyes, and it was not hard to tell he needed the same. I could see him fighting with himself.  
''I'm getting carried away,'' he panted for breath.  
''And I'm not?''  
''I WANT you,'' he moaned. ''I can't control myself.''  
I gulped. As much as I wanted this, we needed to have the 'talk' first. ''And who told you I have super self-control?''  
He laughed nervously. ''Nobody.''  
''See? See? You can't just assume things about me. I'm not perfect, Zayn.''  
''I know,'' he breathed. ''Neither am I. So are we going to have the 'talk' or what?''  
I narrowed my eyes. ''You're really interested in knowing my sexual history.''  
''Don't you want to know mine?''  
''Sure, why not? If you want to tell me.''  
''I have to, because I won't have sex with you until we have the 'talk'. It's a rule for me.''  
''Is this just a pretext?''  
''You never know,'' he said mysteriously. I poked him in the shoulder. ''Come on.''  
I hopped off the counter. We both sat in the living room, starting the 'talk'.

Zayn's POV

Anya sat in front of me, one hand in her hair and the other in her lap. She gave me a soft gaze, unwavering one, at that.  
''So, who's going first?'' she asked.  
''Why don't you? You can't expect a guy to say everything first!'' I chided, trying to hide just how nervous I was.  
She shrugged, appearing cavalier, at least. ''Not a virgin.''  
''I guessed that.''  
She shrugged again. ''I suppose I give off that experienced vibe.''  
This made me curious. ''Exactly how much experience?''  
''Not a whole lot.''  
''Well, I do assume with Sean-''  
She cut me off. ''True. And I can't even believe I did that.''  
I couldn't even look at her when I asked, ''How many times?''  
''I didn't count,'' she said morosely. ''At least I didn't lose my virginity to him.''  
''There was another guy before him?''  
She nodded. ''Around the end of secondary school. He was sweet about it.''  
''Sweet?''  
''You jealous, Zayn?'' she prodded.  
''Just a bit. Not a whole lot, though, since when I take you, you won't be my first, anyway.''  
''Yeah, well, I would be pretty shocked if I was.''  
''Though I'm still not very, um, proficient.'' I felt awkward.  
''In sex?''  
''I haven't really done it much. Though I'm not ashamed, I just don't agree with casual sex.''  
''I can see your point. But how many girls have there been?'' I could hear the burning curiosity.  
''Jealous?'' I jeered.  
''Maybe,'' she allowed. ''I've only ever been with two guys.''  
''I've only been with, what, umm....lemme count,'' I said cheekily.  
''Zayn!'' she complained.  
''They were nothing compared to you. And there have been only two.''  
She relaxed. ''You scared me there for a bit.''  
I was the cavalier one now. ''Whatever.''  
''So, did you get the information you wanted?''  
''Yeah, I guess. Though what's your first's name?''  
''Neal Sharma,'' she answered.  
''Indian guy?''  
''Yeah. We only really slept together to end our virgin life.''  
''And hate on your families secretly, get back at them,'' I suggested.  
''Yeah. I don't feel the least bit guilty, though.''  
''Nothing to feel guilty of. No one expects a college kid to be celibate.''  
''Except my family,'' she interjected.  
''Except your family,'' I agreed. ''Sooo.....''  
''Yes?''  
''Now that the 'talk' is done......''  
''Zayn!''  
I laughed.  
''You are such a guy!''  
''It's just me. You're going to have to live with that.''  
''I'll find a way to manage. And you're talking as if you have a pack of condoms with you right now.''  
''I have two,'' I admitted. ''Wallet, emergencies.''  
''Emergencies??'' she screeched dramatically. ''Since when are there sexual emergencies?''  
''With you,'' I said solemnly, ''I can hardly control myself. It's best to be prepared.''  
''Then, good. I like protection-vigilant people. I am not interested in making a kid for a long time.''  
''Neither am I. We're only 21 and 20, so no.''  
''And even if it happens by accident, I can't abort, so I'm really particular about protection,'' she warned.  
''You on the pill?''  
''Been on it for two years.''  
''Great,'' I nodded. ''So, when are we going to do this?''  
''Tomorrow?''  
''You sure you're ready for me?''  
''I won't ever be. So, let's just get on with it.''  
''Okay, then, tomorrow.''


	30. 28. Preparations Galore

Anya's POV

Today was a Saturday. I hadn't gone to uni for a week. I hadn't missed much, though. But that wasn't the reason I was chewing my lip. I was nervous about tonight.  
Everything that would happen today would decide the future for my relationship with Zayn. There was a lot to be nervous about. Not only did I have to make dinner, but we were also going to.....  
I couldn't even think it. It made me blush and feel all insecure. I had repeatedly been told by Zayn that I was beautiful, but I still found it hard to believe. I doubted I ever would.  
I was restless the entire day. Not even music could calm me down. Usually, I went on one of my photographing expeditions on Saturdays. Not today. I would've flipped out worse.  
I caught up on mechanical assignments and work. I cleaned my camera and arranged all the lenses in order like an OCD kid. I wrote all the homework I'd missed in the week, doing research and trying to concentrate.  
I finally gave up in the afternoon. Listening to some music, I lay down on the sofa, thinking. About ambience. I wanted things to be right.  
Soft lightning, yes, definitely yes. Songs playing on a low volume in the background, maybe? Bit too far. New sheets, definitely. I'd bought some. They were a pristine white. I got up and stripped my bed. Tucking the new ones in, I brought out my red and black pillowcases from the old wardrobe. I arranged the square pillows on the bed, standing on their corners. Making sure at least the bed looked perfect, I stood back, staring at it.  
I de-cluttered both my bedside tables, putting everything away. I closed the door of the walk-in wardrobe. I took down all the frames hanging on the wall and hung baubles from the ceiling. I turned them on.  
The lighting was perfect. It was a soft, dim purple glow that illuminated the room just enough. It complemented the coloured pillows, white sheets and the blue curtains. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.  
Next, I got to the kitchen. The chicken had been defrosting for quite a while. It was actually warm. Good. It would cook faster.  
I got out all the veggies and cut them up. Making a sauce, I poured it in an oven-safe dish and put all the vegetables in it. I rubbed the chicken in it and stuck it in the oven. I also made a herb dip to go with it. The recipe was actually very simple. Make some mayonnaise, add some cream and chop up some herbs. My herbs of choice were chives, coriander, parsley and oregano today. I personally loved an Italian twist to food.  
I knew I was not yet old enough to be drinking wine, but I had a bottle. Zenith had given it to me on my 20th birthday (live in sin, he had said). I hadn't touched it, but it was time now. Today was special.  
I put the bottle of red wine on the counter. Reaching for two plates and glasses, I placed them in front of one another. I got out some cutlery and arranged it properly.  
The oven beeped. I pulled it out, basting the chicken again. I checked the temperature of it with an internal cooking thermometer and confirmed. It was cooked. Covering it with a lid, I stepped to the bedroom, to take care of me now.  
I pulled out one of my lesser-used dresses. It was damn revealing, at that. It went not even to my mid-thigh, and it was strapless. In short, it was a titchy piece of fabric. Time to risk it.  
I changed into a strapless bra and wore the dress. It looked smaller, as if it had shrunken. Okay, that was probably just my imagination.  
I freed my hair of its clasp, and brushed it. Once all the tangles were gone, I fetched the curler. I curled my hair just enough for it to hang down my shoulders in wavy locks.  
Next : my face. I washed it with cleanser and scrubbed it. I put on a face pack and listened to music while it did its magic. I washed it off fifteen minutes later. Now for the make-up.  
I put on basic foundation, and some eyeliner. Leaving my eyes otherwise nude, I opted for no eye shades. I applied some lips balm, red lipstick and cherry rose lip gloss. Touching up my cheeks with some blush, I checked myself out in the mirror. I had to admit, I didn't look half-bad. I looked kinda hot.  
I took a deep breath, settling myself. The doorbell rang.

Zayn's POV

I spent the day restless. I could not sit still. I kept pacing the house. Harry gave me one look and said, ''Sit your butt down, otherwise you'll burn yourself out.''  
I glared at him. ''What do YOU know?''  
''That you're going to sleep with-''  
''Hush!'' I silenced him. ''Quiet.''  
''What? It's not a secret.''  
''But still,'' I hissed.  
''Seriously, you're wound up so tight, Zayn, you're giving off the vibe. I can tell.''  
''I'm nervous, damn you.''  
''That's not a bad thing. But it's taking over you. Channelize your emotions.''  
''Now you're talking like a sex god.''  
''I AM a sex god, Zayn,'' he said seriously.  
I laughed. ''Okay!''  
''Whatever. You need my help or what?''  
''Fine,'' I muttered grudgingly. ''What?''  
''Relax.''  
''That's it, just one word?''  
''No.'' He narrowed his eyes. ''Sex is nothing to get nervous about.''  
''Not for you!''  
He looked harrowed. ''Not what I'm saying. You want her, right?''  
''So bad,'' I confessed.  
''Then go for it. Don't hold back. You both need this, right?''  
''Hm.''  
''You love her, man. There's no reason for you to hold back.''  
''You're right,'' I realized.  
''And she loves you. You can't wait forever to do this. Sex is an important part of an intimate relationship.''  
''I'm understanding your point.'' I really could see what he was trying to say.  
''Stop freaking, then.''

I took Harry's advice and stopped freaking. I immersed myself in getting ready, obsessing with my looks. I wore a red shirt, black pants and a leather jacket. Leather was very attractive. It was almost an aphrodisiac for me.  
I gelled my hair super carefully, making it stand up straight. I wore my diamond piercing instead, because a woman loves diamonds.  
Once I was pimped out, I fetched some roses from our garden out back and made a bouquet arrangement out of them. I was ready to leave.  
I drove to Anya's, risking it. Even Paul didn't seem to mind. Maybe Harry had told him. Maybe.  
I rang her bell, waiting. This was it. This was it.


	31. 29. Dinner And A Whole Lot More

Zayn's POV

Anya opened the door. Oh my God, she looked sexy. She was wearing a short cream dress which clung to her body. It was strapless, and the exposed skin was beckoning me. Her long legs looked better than they ever had. Her hair hung around her face in curly locks, and her lips -  
'Get a grip'.  
''Hey,'' she said. She looked quite affected as well.  
''Hi. You look so damn hot, I'm about to rip that dress off.''  
''Don't. I love this one.''  
''I bet I love it more than you do.''  
''Yeah, I bet,'' she murmured.  
''Flowers for the lovely lady.'' I handed her the red roses.  
''Thank you. I'd guessed you'd bring flowers.'' She took the plastic off and put them in a flower jug with water. ''Dinner?''  
''Yeah. I can't wait to taste!'' I took off my jacket and hung it up on the door peg.  
''I guessed.'' She poured red wine into two glasses.  
''My, my, illegal drinking?'' I faked.  
''Hey! For all I know, you had your first whisky when you were 18.''  
''No, I was 19. And just kidding. Let's eat.''  
She brought out a delicious-looking chicken and carved it as I sat down. She served us both and brought out a herb dip to go with it. ''Vegetable stock chicken with herb mayonnaise.''  
''Nice.'' I raised my glass. ''Cheers.''  
''Cheers.'' We both took a sip. ''Bitter.''  
''Yeah, most drinks are.''  
''Come on, taste!''  
I shrugged, cutting a piece, dipping it in the mayonnaise, and chewed. ''Mmmm.....''  
She looked nervous. ''How is it?''  
''Perfect,'' I said honestly. ''You're good at this cooking thing.''  
She shrugged and dug in. ''This is better than usual. But that might be because I took special care.''  
''I can tell. Now I feel bad I made you go to all this trouble.''  
She brushed me off. ''It is a special night.''  
That made me all nervous again. She felt it, too, and we ate in silence until the whole chicken was gone.  
She cleared the plates away silently, as I drank my wine. Feeling slightly buzzy, I mustered up the courage. I walked right up to her.  
''Are you sure?'' I asked her. ''Because if you aren't-''  
She cut me off. ''I've never been so sure in my life.''  
I kissed her, letting our lips play. Pushing her against the counter, I lifted her hips. She wrapped her legs around my waist. I reached her silky neck, marvelling at the colour and texture of her skin.  
''Wait,'' she gasped.  
I faced her. ''Yes?''  
''The bedroom.''  
''Oh yeah, right.'' I walked through the flat, carrying her. Her eyes stayed on me.  
''You're going to love it,'' she said softly.  
I entered the bedroom. ''Oh my God, Anya.'' The room was dimly lit with blue baubles hanging from the ceiling. The curtains were a deep purple. Crimson pillows decorated a pristine white bed. ''This is amazing.''  
She smiled. ''Thank you. I wanted it to be.''  
''You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.''  
She narrowed her eyes. ''You like it, right?''  
''I love it.''  
''Then shut up.'' She reached behind me with her hand and shut the door. I took the signal.  
I reached the bed, leaning over and dropping Anya on it. She undid her legs from my waist and pulled at my t-shirt. I obeyed, leaning down on top of her. Planting my knees on either side of her hips, I placed a hot kiss on her lips. She pulled me even closer, not breaking the kiss. Her body heat radiated into me. I pulled away, looking at her.  
''So how do I take off this incredibly sexy dress of yours?'' I asked.  
''Here.'' She lifted her left arm. ''Zip.''  
I ran my fingers along her skin before reaching the zip. I undid it. Softer and silkier skin became visible. I dipped my head and gave her a kiss there.  
I pulled her dress down, and removed it off her. God damn it, I was NOT prepared for the beauty here. I ran my fingertips along her stomach, kissing her navel.  
''You're beautiful,'' I whispered against her skin.  
''Let me see you,'' she said hungrily. ''It's your turn.''  
''Okay.'' I let her reach for my shirt. She took it off and stared at my bare chest. ''You like what you see?''  
She nodded, tracing my tattoos. ''I love what I see.'' She undid the snap and zipper of my jeans and pushed them down. I took them off.  
''Your turn again.''  
She smiled, lifting her back up and giving me room to remove her strapless bra. I unhooked the clasp and bared her breasts. They were.......wow. I palmed them, stroking her. She bit her lip.  
''Don't worry, babe, you're beautiful,'' I soothed. She relaxed under my touch as I ran my thumbs over her nipples. They were tight and hard. Lowering my head, I kissed one stiff nipple, opening my lips and suckling gently while still teasing the other one with my fingers. She moaned. I felt my boxers get tight. I fought to keep a clear head. I wanted to pleasure her in ways she could not imagine......  
I moved to the other nipple. She grabbed at my hair. Her back arched, making it easier for me to gain access. Then it got to be too much. Anya realized my discomfort and moved her hands to my boxers. She slipped down on the bed, and took them off.  
I was now fully naked in front of her. She stared at my member, eyes wide. ''Wow, you're big,'' she muttered under her breath.  
''I'll take that as a compliment.''  
She touched me with one finger, tracing from base to tip and back again. I swallowed. I was going to lose it. She brought my head down and kissed me. At the same time, she started stroking my length, making me moan against her lips. I pulled away.  
''I need you now,'' I growled.  
''I'm yours to take.''  
I hastily got her underwear out of the way,but then re-thought, getting my bearings. I didn't want to hurt her. But I wanted to bury myself deep inside her so damn bad..... I was going to war with myself.  
I parted her legs, finding her sensitive spot. I rubbed it with my thumb. Moans slipped out of her parted lips.  
''How does that feel?''  
''Oh my God, Zayn. Just take me now,'' she moaned. A chill ran through me. I slipped the condom on.  
''Yes ma'am.'' I positioned myself correctly, nudging the wet opening with my tip. ''Open your eyes, Anya. I want to look in your eyes.''  
She obeyed, gazing into mine. Her eyes looked half-wild. I held her hips in my hands and slowly entered her. She murmured my name.  
Once I was fully inside, I asked, ''Did I hurt you?''  
''No. This feels amazing.''  
She was right about that part. I felt so connected to her, I could almost feel everything she felt. I pulled out, and thrust back inside her. I repeated this motion, stroking her inner thighs. I was about to lose my mind.  
''Zayn,'' she said in what almost sounded like a tearful sob. ''Ohhhhhhh......my Godd. Oh, ohh, ohhhh......'' She fell off the edge and into an abyss of pleasure. Her body arched as she grabbed at the sheets. She pressed her head into a pillow. Watching her face, I couldn't hold it in any longer. My own climax rocked through me. I groaned loudly.  
I opened my eyes. Anya was looking up at me. She looked....happy.  
''I love you, Zayn,'' she whispered.  
''Oh, I love you, Anya.''


	32. 30. The Beginning Of Our Forever

Anya's POV

I gazed at Zayn. He turned on his back, resting his head on a pillow. He didn't bother with the sheets, lying on my bed fully exposed. He had nothing to hide anymore, right?  
I marvelled at his handsome body. His arms were strong yet gentle. Those biceps were just hardcore. His shoulders were full of bone and muscle. His chest was firm. There were absolute toned muscles there, no doubt. His stomach was flat planes of hardened muscle.  
His entire upper body was peppered with tattoos. I loved each and every single one. His legs were long and thin, but toned. His skin colour matched mine. Like milk chocolate mixed with white chocolate.  
''What are you looking at?'' Zayn asked softly. I realised he'd noticed I'd been staring at him.  
''You,'' I mumbled. ''You're like, perfect.''  
''You ARE perfect,'' he crooned, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. I turned pink. ''And yet you blush. Still.''  
''I don't do it on purpose. If anybody's to be blamed for that, it's you. You're the one than evokes that kind of reaction in me.''  
''You're the one who gets influenced.''  
''Can ya blame me?'' I smiled.  
''No.''  
I smacked his arm lightly. ''We have GOT to do something about that extra self-confidence of yours. Though I can't really blame you.''  
''Why?''  
''You're pretty sexy.''  
''Pretty sexy?''  
''Okay,'' she allowed, ''very sexy.''  
''Not everyone is in love with me, you know.''  
''Actually, I'm aware that I have a zillion girls' competition when it comes to you,'' I stated.  
''Zillion? That's blown out rumours.'' He rolled his eyes. ''I'm hot. No matter what anybody says.''  
I laughed. ''See? That's what you need to change.''  
''Actually,'' he lowered his voice, tracing patterns on my arm, ''you should be happier with your body, Anya.''  
''I have to admit, I don't love myself. But I'm trying, to see myself the way others do. The way you do,'' I confessed. ''We both have a lot of issues, Zayn.''  
''True,'' he breathed, turning on his side. ''I have to ask, though.''  
''What?''  
A playful smile tugged the corner of his lips. ''Tell me, how was I?''  
It took a minute for his point to hit home. He looked at me cheekily. ''Seriously? You're asking me that?''  
''I'll tell you how that was for me, and then you'll have to tell me how it was for you.''  
''How about you go first? I promise I'll hold up my end of the deal.''  
''Okay. That was.....I fail to find proper words.''  
''Really?'' I felt proud when he nodded. ''If I tell you how my experience was, I'll just be massaging your ego.''  
He was tenative. ''That good?''  
''Insanely. Couldn't you tell?''  
''I just wanted to hear you say it. Believe it or not, I like that better than just hearing you moan.''  
''Wow. Men will be men.''  
He shrugged. ''I'm kinda tired.''  
''Wow.'' I widened my eyes.  
''You're not?'' His eyes lit up. '''Cause I'm not THAT tired.''  
''Shut up. I AM tired, but we're having such a perfect moment, I don't want it to end.''  
''Neither do I.'' His hazel eyes smouldered. I snuggled into him, feeling his warmth. Skin on skin. He put his arm around me, lifting the sheets and covering us. We fell asleep together for the first time.

''Wake up, beautiful,'' Zayn crooned in my ear, kissing it. ''Good morning.''  
''Mmmm.'' I stretched around Zayn. ''Good morning.''  
He looked at me lovingly, playing with a lock of my hair. ''You look divine.''  
''So do you.'' I cupped his face. His hair was a perfect mess. ''Last night was unbelievable.''  
His eyes lit up. ''That's what I wanted to hear.''  
We lay there, silently listening to each other breathe. Purple light from the other side of the curtains framed his body. This was what I loved. It felt like I now had everything I desired; I had love.  
''Anya?''  
I met his gaze.  
''What are you thinking?''  
''That I'm the luckiest person in the world,'' I said, running my fingers through his hair.  
''You might be the second luckiest.''  
''Stop praising me so much.''  
''I mean every word,'' he said sincerely. ''So, how about we get up now?''  
''Okay, I guess.'' I sat up, stretching. He reached for his clothes, putting them on. I watched him as he dressed.  
''You keep looking at me like that, I'm taking them off again,'' he warned.  
I laughed. ''Okay, okay, I'll just wear mine, then.''  
''But then both our clothes will be coming off.''  
''I can't exactly strut into the kitchen naked, can I?''  
''That's a good idea,'' he mused. ''Saves time on getting the clothes off if there aren't any.''  
''Remind me to wear baggy clothes in front you from now on.''  
''Wouldn't make a difference.''  
I shrugged, getting up and opening my walk-in wardrobe. Hunting for a simple tee and some denims, I found what I was looking for. Zayn watched me as I dressed.  
''Those clothes fail to do justice to your body,'' Zayn said conversationally.  
''Well,'' I smirked, ''not every dress can be as good as that one.'' I pointed to the cream dress I'd worn last night.  
''I liked you without the dress more, though.'' He stepped close, putting his hands on my waist.  
''Yeah, you did.''  
He kissed me gently, slowly. I kissed back. This kiss was non-sexual, calm. There was no rush, nothing else. Just a loving kiss.  
''Come on,'' I said, taking his hand. Pulling him, I led him to the kitchen. ''Breakfast?''  
''Sure. Come on, teach me.''  
''To cook?'' I asked, alarmed.  
''Yeah.''  
''Okay, I guess. Scrambled eggs and toast are pretty easy.''  
''Let's cook, then.''  
''Get the egg carton from the fridge,'' I instructed, while I got out a pan and the toaster. He handed it to me. ''Now, take a few eggs. Hmm, good. That's enough. Put the pan on the gas and turn it on. Now, while the pan is heating, get some cheese and chives from the fridge, will you?  
''Good. Crack the eggs into the pan. That's it. Make sure it doesn't stick. Here, stir it with this.'' I handed him a wooden spatula. ''That's it. While that is on the gas, I'm going to grate some cheese and chop the chives. My twist on scrambled eggs.  
''Keep stirring that occasionally. Can you get the bread from the top shelf? Yeah that's it. Take four slices and put 'em in the pop-up toaster. There you go. Now put this cheese and chives in the pan. Stir once and you're done.''  
''Really? That simple?'' He sounded astonished.  
''Yeah, obviously! Though this is one of the easier ones,'' I amended. We sat down to eat. He served everything in one plate.  
''Share with me?'' he asked like an innocent school kid.  
''Why not?''  
He pushed his fork in and fed me.  
''You can cook, Zayn Malik. Take a taste.'' I fed him.  
''Good. Your recipe, though.''  
''Trial and error, really.''  
''We're sitting here and eating breakfast,'' Zayn sighed. ''Another first for us, eh?''  
''Yeah. I love these little things. They add spark to life.''  
He took my hand. ''I hope we do this every day for the rest of our lives.''  
I was shocked. ''Really?''  
''Really.''  
''Me, too. Forever.''  
''Forever.''


	33. 31. Work

Zayn's POV

I drove home after breakfast. I didn't really want to leave, but then Anya's parents called. She cut the call and said she would meet me tonight. I left, because I didn't want her parents to suspect anything. She'd already had a close call with them once before, with Sean.  
Sean. Just his name made my nostrils flare. I hated the guy with a burning passion. He'd hurt Anya. My temper had not calmed. Realizing I'd just flown into a murderous rage, I focussed on relaxing myself. I drove through the gates of the house and past it to the garage only to see Harry standing there.  
Before I could even park the car, he said, ''So, did you enjoy yourself?''  
I groaned internally. Now I wished I hadn't come back.  
''Come on, tell.''  
''Shut up,'' I muttered.  
''I'm not going to shut up.''  
I let out an exasperated sigh. ''You're not going to stop, are you?''  
He remained complacent. ''Not until you spill.''  
''Ungh, fine,'' I gave in.  
''So,'' he prodded, ''how was it?''  
I looked at the ground. ''I don't even have words.''  
He didn't say anything for a minute. ''Think I just went into shock there.''  
''It was more than just a physical act, Haz. I've never felt so.....connected to anyone,'' I confessed.  
''I'm happy for you.''  
I finally had the courage to look back up. He gasped.  
''You're blushing!''  
''There you go again. You promised you would shut up once I told you,'' I complained.  
''I don't keep my promises,'' he chuckled. Then he got serious. ''This is a good thing, Zayn. Don't let her go.''  
''Never.''  
Paul suddenly appeared. ''Guys, Simon is here,'' he announced.  
''Let's go.'' Haz and I walked through the back door and to the hall. Uncle Simon was sitting there with Lou, Liam and Niall. We sat down quickly.  
Uncle Simon cleared his throat before speaking. ''I hope you guys had a good rest the past couple of months.''  
We all nodded.  
''Now, I'm sorry, but you need to get back to work. Start writing.''  
''We already have 10 songs,'' I said.  
''Wow,'' he said, surprised. ''Inspired, much?'' He looked straight at me.  
Louis answered for me. ''He met a girl.''  
''Yeah!'' Niall laughed.  
''Good for you, Zayn,'' he smiled. ''You were really having a hard time.''  
''I'm good now, thanks,'' I mumbled.  
''I suppose you should write a bit more, then,'' Simon suggested. '''Midnight Memories' was 18 songs, pretty long. I don't care if it's smaller than that. It should be better. 'This Is Us' and your videos in 'Midnight Memories', especially 'Best Song Ever' and 'Story Of My Life' garnered you new fans. They expect a lot from you, and even I have to admit that 'Midnight Memories' as an album, will be hard to top.''  
''Don't worry, Uncle Simon,'' Louis said cheerily, ''we're doing our best.''  
''It's going to be a good one. I can promise you that,'' Liam said with conviction.  
''Well, that makes me feel better,'' Simon sighed. ''Okay, I have to be going now. Gotta catch a flight to Los Angeles.''  
''Bye!'' we all chorused.  
''Bye, guys.''  
Everyone turned their attention to me. ''Soo, where were you all night?'' Lou asked.  
''Don't even ask him that. It's pretty obvious!'' Niall chuckled. ''Isn't it?''  
''It's nice to get a confession, though, Ni,'' he stated. ''Obviously.''  
Liam stepped in. ''Guys, chill it.''  
''He told me,'' Harry said, ''so I'll fill you in later, 'kay, Lou?''  
He fake-pouted. ''You told him and not me?''  
''Oh, don't give me that,'' I muttered. ''We have work to do. First, let me change, though.'' I got up, rushing to my room before they could stop me. I could hear Harry start his description already. I had to suppress a groan.

Writing a new song was always a bitch. We got to work after I'd changed into more comfortable clothes. What we had so far was very good, but not very sparky or extraordinary. There were a lot more romantic songs this time, courtesy of me, obviously. The whole album was going to look like a love ballad if we didn't move our asses.  
A song like 'Alive' would definitely help matters, but those were tough. That meant tough for me. Harry was having a field day. He did most of the work, anyways, and he seemed pretty rejuvenated. I didn't really have an idea as of why, but then I wasn't very involved in what was going on with the guys these days. I felt a little guilty. It was wrong to just ignore them like this, right?  
It took the whole day. I was absolutely no help at all. My mind kept going back to last night and this morning. It was literally impossible for me to concentrate for long. Liam realised this.  
''Zayn?'' He pulled me from my musings. ''You seem to be elsewhere.''  
''That's because he is,'' Louis chuckled.  
''I am,'' I said morosely. ''I can't do a song like this right now!''  
''You can't do a song like this for a while,'' Lou stated. ''I know what I'm saying.''  
''But you're inspired,'' Harry said, looking up from the notebook, ''so we can use that.''  
''We can't do any more romantic songs. That would take it over the top,'' Niall interjected.  
''That's not what I'm saying, Ni. Let Zayn write something, and we'll spice it up. Make it a little naughty. That's one song taken care of,'' Harry explained.  
''That's actually kinda good.'' Liam was surprised.  
''I'm not done. He could write about, you know, last night?''  
I buried my face in my hands. ''You're seriously going to bring that up every chance you get?''  
''He doesn't mean it that way,'' Liam reasoned. ''And it's actually an excellent idea. You know it is.''  
''Okay, fine. I am not giving you any kind of guarantee or promise, though. And I need to talk with her first. Don't pressurise me into this.''  
''Zayn Malik! Who do you think we are?'' Louis mocked. ''We would never!''  
''But you would,'' I insisted. ''I know you too well to believe otherwise.''  
''Whatever. So start writing yet another soppy slow ballad or something. We'll spruce it up later,'' Louis said.  
''Seriously, back off,'' I grumbled.  
''Someone's pissed off,'' Niall said under his breath.  
''Sorry, sorry,'' I apologized. ''There's a lot on my mind. Not that stuff.''  
''Quick amend on that one,'' Liam commented.  
I shrugged. ''I'll get onto something.''  
Harry handed me a notebook and pen. ''Maybe you should be using another creative outlet. It might help channelize your imagination properly.''  
''That's actually good. Where are you getting these ideas from?''  
''Don't really know.''  
''I'll draw, then.''  
''Maybe get her to pose for you or something?''  
''We'll see. Till then, let me try writing.''  
We all got down to work.


	34. 32. Sex Is Highly Addictive

Anya's POV

Staying true to his promise, Zayn arrived at 8 pm, with a large pizza box in his hand. He gave me a grin, walking in and grabbing my face. He kissed me hard, on the mouth, once.  
''You look tempting,'' he said, his voice low and sultry. Damn, he was sexy even in a tee and jeans.  
''I do, huh?'' I teased, running my fingers across his shoulder.  
''Mm.''  
''You do, too. Dinner?'' I pointed at the box.  
He pouted. ''Actually, I had something else in mind.''  
I raised an eyebrow. ''I'm hungry. I'm eating. Get that libido under control, or I'm kicking you out.'' I snatched the pizza box out of his hand, walking away from him briskly. He grabbed me from behind again as I dropped the box on the counter.  
''Fiesty,'' he whisper-groaned in my ear, ''I like it. But I have a better idea.''  
I elbowed him lightly in the ribs.  
''Ow,'' he laughed.  
I smiled. ''Good.''  
''I have a condition,'' he said, skimming his fingers across my arm. Goosebumps appeared.  
''Yes?''  
''I want you.'' He nibbled at my ear. ''So bad.''  
''That's not the condition,'' I gasped.  
He kissed my neck. ''Pizza, then.....dessert?'' ''Innuendos,'' I muttered, facing him.  
He traced my nose and then, my lips. I shivered slightly. ''They work. So? Is that a yes or a no?''  
''You know I can't push you away,'' I mumbled, ''and you just take advantage of it.''  
''Can ya blame me? You're so goddamned sexy I can hardly think.''  
''Okay. Deal.'' I got a grip on myself. ''Let's eat.'' He let me go, plopping down on a stool and pulling me down with him. I sat on his lap.  
''This works for me,'' he winked.  
''I got the best seat in the house, huh? Though, you sure? I'm not exactly light.'' I was tentative.  
''You're perfect,'' he said solemnly, stroking my face. ''Don't you know it?''  
I had to swallow a lump in my throat. ''I love you.''  
''As I love you.'' He pulled my head down, kissing me. This kiss was soft and calm. ''Let's eat.''  
I opened the box and tore away a slice. ''Here.'' I fed him.  
''Your turn.'' He fed me. We kept at it, and it took an hour. He was busy licking and sucking at my fingers and I was busy trying to keep a clear head while he did that. I wanted to rip his clothes off so bad. ''Look at the time.''  
I craned my neck. ''Wow.'' It was 9:15 pm. ''We really got involved in eating.''  
''Mm yeah.'' He looked tense.  
''Zayn? Anything wrong?''  
''Um, I have to ask you something.''  
''Anything,'' I breathed. ''You can ask me anything.''  
''Uncle Simon came around to the house this morning. He said that we had to start working on our new album.''  
''I thought you already were?''  
''We were. We have 11 songs already. But they're very....monotonous.''  
''Lemme guess, you're doing most of the writing and it's coming out like slow love songs every time.''  
''Yes. You know me a little too well, I think.' He narrowed his eyes. ''It's always better to write first, and way before the deadline. We need more fun songs, and I'm coming up zip on that.''  
I laughed. ''I expected that.''  
''Hey!'' he objected. ''I'm having a hard time here and you're laughing.''  
''Sorry.''  
''Harry suggested that I write about last night. I wanted to ask you if that's okay with you? I won't do it if you don't feel comfortable-''  
I cut him off. ''I'm comfortable. Do it.''  
He palmed my face. ''Sure?''  
I gave him an incredulous look. ''Do you have any idea how amazing it would be for me if you immortalized me in a song?''  
He seemed to see my point of view. ''Okay.''  
I leaned down to kiss him. ''Thank you.''  
''For what?''  
''Just, being you. Asking me before taking action. Being a gentleman.''  
''I'm in no mood to be a gentleman right now, though.'' His eyes went dark.  
''Don't be one then.'' I crushed my lips to his. He kissed back, and it became a battle for control. He was the one to pull back.  
Startling me, he got up and carried me bridal-style to the bedroom quickly. This time, he was not being patient.  
He dropped me on the bed and got down on top of me. His lips burned my skin as I struggled to take his shirt off. I finally reached the hem, pulling it over his head. His body demanded to be made love to.  
I took control, flipping us over so that I was now on top of him. He was pleasantly surprised at this and didn't stop me. I kissed his collarbone, snaking my tongue over his skin. A chill ran through me. I ignored it, using my lips down his body. He was perfect; an angel. He was the ultimate fantasy, and I could not help but feel thrilled he was mine. MINE.  
I reached his jeans and disposed of them with his boxers. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't dare look at him. I was about to lose my head anyways just staring at his length, even though I'd seen it, like 24 hours ago. I could not get over the sheer size. And people thought thin guys weren't able to be packing heat. They were so able.  
I bit my lip, earning a moan from Zayn.  
''You are driving me crazy,'' he said, struggling to speak.  
''Oh, yeah?'' I challenged.  
He nodded.  
''Now you know how I was feeling last night.''  
''Yeah.''  
I watched as his length seemed to swell and curl upwards more than it had. Now this was making me nervous. I got a grip on my nerves and reached out to touch him. He was thick and hot to my hand as I stroked him. I noticed his hands starting to grab the sheets in fistfuls. I felt a little proud of myself.  
I stroked him, leaning down and inching my lips towards his inner thighs. I kissed him there, sucking on the skin and using quite an amount of tongue. He moaned loudly, repeatedly. I smiled, silently enjoying the sounds he was making.  
When I stopped and lifted my head to draw breath, he startled me by grabbing me and flipping us over. His knees at my hips, he came down on me.  
''That was sexy. But you're MINE. I'm in control now.'' He whipped my tee and jeans off. Teasing me, he lowered my underwear slowly. Once it was gone, too, he parted my legs and exposed my sensitivity. I could feel liquid heat at my crux already.  
He dipped his head and snaked his tongue over my centre. I shuddered slightly with the shock of the immediate pleasure. He licked me, shooting tingles through me. I grabbed at the sheets, mouth opening to shriek out. I was so close.....  
He stopped. The feeling of losing out when I was so goddamned close was...horrible. I felt like weeping. ''Now you know how I felt,'' he said, quickly unwrapping a condom and placing it properly.  
This time, he was not as careful. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. He entered me in one sure stroke. I gasped for air. His possession was dizzying. He got rid of my bra, palming my breasts. As he worked his hips, he teased my nipples, making me go crazy. My hands clawed at the sheets so hard I thought they would tear. I was hovering on the edge of that peak again.  
''Come for me,'' Zayn commanded. ''Come for me, Anya. Say my name.''  
''Zayn,'' I gasped. ''Zayn.....'' I fell off the edge and into an abyss of pleasure. My muscles tightened around him, and somewhere in the euphoria I could feel him shudder.  
We were both breathing hard, and sweating. His sweat dripped onto me. We were still united, still one. He gazed in my eyes.  
''That was....'' I was speechless.  
''I know what you're saying.''  
''How are we ever going to control ourselves? This is highly addictive.''  
He laughed, making the way our bodies were tangled more appealing. ''Round 2?''  
''Yes.''  
We picked up where we'd left off.


	35. 33. Big Sister

Zayn's POV

Anya and I lay in bed, holding each other. It was the middle of the night, and I was on the verge of sleep. I was tired. It was no secret why!  
''Zayn,'' Anya murmured, kissing my chest.  
''Yes, baby?''  
''You're an angel.''  
''Yeah?''  
She propped herself on an elbow and looked at me. ''Don't you know it?'' Her hair framed her face.  
''I do. But I like to hear you say it,'' I admitted.  
She laughed. ''You're an angel.''  
''Thanks.''  
She rested her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. I put my arms around her again. This moment was perfect.

The morning came way too fast. We'd hardly slept when my phone started ringing loudly. Anya stirred as I reached for it.  
''Hello?''  
''Hey, it's Niall.''  
''What's up?''  
''Just wanted to know when you were coming home.'' I sensed an edge of tension.  
''Anything wrong?''  
He said something I didn't quite catch. I was busy watching Anya.  
She got up, strutting around the bed and inside her walk-in wardrobe, stark naked. I stared like an imbecile.  
''Zayn?'' Niall shouted.  
''Uh, what?''  
''Did you just freaking hear what I said?''  
''No, what did you say?''  
''Doniya's here.''  
''In the house?!'' I freaked. ''I'm going to flip out.''  
''Yeah!'' he exclaimed. ''She wants to know where you are! What on earth are we supposed to tell her?''  
''I don't know,'' I frowned. ''This is not good.''  
''The hell with you. Just get your ass over here.''  
''I'm coming.''  
I was about to hang up when he said, ''You are going to tell her, right?''  
''Yes. No doubt. I'm coming.'' I hung up the phone and rushed in wearing my clothes.  
''What's up?'' Anya asked, leaning against the doorframe, looking divine. Her face was relaxed.  
''My sister's at the house.'' I sounded relatively calm. ''I need to go.''  
She frowned. ''At least eat something.''  
''I'll be fine.'' I hastily combed my fingers through my hair. ''I love you.''  
''I love you, too,'' she said, kissing me. ''And I would love to come with you, but....''  
''Come with me,'' I begged, ''pweeeaasee?'' I made a puppy dog face.  
''What about uni, Zayn? I need to go today. I have to submit an important assignment.''  
''Then submit it and come over quickly. Please?'' I sounded desperate.  
''Okay,'' she allowed, ''but I can't make any promises. It might be lunchtime before I can leave.''  
''Okay, okay,'' I nodded.  
She seemed to read my face. ''She's just your sister. She isn't going to throw a fit.''  
''She won't.'' I reconsidered. ''She'll probably tease me so much I might turn into a psycho-killer or something. I am not exaggerating.''  
Anya chuckled. ''Okay, fine, go now.''  
''Bye.'' I pecked her cheek and rushed out. I hastily drove the the house, not caring about speed limits. I reached quicker than usual.  
I stepped towards the house, but then stopped. I wasn't even prepared for this. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, Doniya, I'm in love'? That didn't sound so bad, but she was bound to criticize me.  
I got inside only to be greeted by four exhausted looks. ''Thank the Lord,'' Liam muttered under his breath.  
''Where's she?''  
''Upstairs.'' Harry pointed to my bedroom.  
''Oh shit.'' I sprinted up the stairs. This was not good. I got there to see my sister rummaging through my sketches. I was so dead.  
She looked up at me, surprised. She rolled her eyes. ''Thought you ran away or something. Hey.'' She gave me a hug.  
I hugged back halfheartedly. ''Doniya. What are you doing in London?''  
''We have a lot to talk about. I got a few days off uni, so I came. How are you?'' She scrutinized my face. ''And where have you been?''  
I took a deep breath. ''Don, I think you're not prepared for this. What I'm about to say, is kinda huge. So sit down.''  
She appeared slightly startled, but did as I said. ''What is it?''  
I got down on my knees in front of her, the classic begging pose. I put my palms on her knees. ''Don, I'm in love.'' I said this looking into her eyes, sure of my words. I loved Anya with my whole heart and soul. And now, well, body.  
''I guessed that.'' She pointed to my recent sketches.  
''Yeah, I come across as a bit of a sop in those, don't I?''  
She shrugged. ''So, who's the lucky girl?''  
''Her name is Anya.'' I proceeded to tell my big sister the whole story about how we'd met, how we'd started our relationship. How we'd fallen in love.  
''Wow,'' she said once I was done. ''I'm happy for you.''  
''Seriously?''  
''Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?''  
''Oh, I don't know, it's only been two months since we last talked, and last time I was miserable as hell. Now I'm not. Doesn't that make you feel like she's not to be trusted or something?''  
''Not really,'' she sighed, taking my hands in hers. ''You've changed, it's true. But this is a good change. There's nothing wrong with it. You're a better person. I'm not going to judge this girl without even meeting her, Zayn. Frankly, I'm a little offended you thought I was going to assume she's a bitch.''  
''Sorry. And don't call her a bitch.''  
''Protective, much?'' she chided. ''You used to be like that about me!''  
''Don't worry, Don, no one can replace you,'' I reassured, hugging her. ''How long are you staying?''  
''Always keen on sending me back to uni, aren't you, Zayn?''  
''I didn't mean it like that.''  
''I know,'' she smiled. ''It's just nice to see you sweat. And I'm only staying till Thursday. There's this thing in uni on Friday I can't miss, otherwise I would've stayed longer to tease you two lovebirds.''  
''Then I'm glad you're not staying longer.''  
''That's mean,'' she pouted.  
I shrugged.  
''So when am I going to get to meet her?'' She looked curious.  
''In a few hours. She's just finishing up some uni stuff right now. She'll be here by lunchtime.''  
''Hmm. What's up with the band? I heard the guys say something about pending work and stuff?''  
''Yeah,'' I nodded. ''Uncle Simon says we need to git with the next album. It's going good so far.''  
''Good, good. Though, I'm curious, what do the guys think about your new beau?''  
I widened my eyes. ''Beau? Seriously?''  
She re-thought. ''Well, I do suppose she's more than a beau, considering you spent the night at her place.''  
''Don!'' I wailed.  
''Sorry, not sorry.''  
''You want to know what they think? Then ask them,'' I said curtly.  
''Fine, I will.'' She walked downstairs, accepting the challenge. I wondered what was going to happen now.


	36. 34. A New Friend

Anya's POV

I finished up my submissions quickly, even mustering up the courage to enter the staff room to submit my History paper. I'd always been kinda scared of that room, and for good reason. Whenever a teacher ambushed me, it was embarrassing. They always kept telling my friends to be more like me. Ungh!  
I decided to give Zayn a surprise by showing up earlier than I'd said. I went home first because I had plenty of time, and changed into better clothes. I wore a simple white dress with small frills at the hemlines, and grabbed my black purse to go with it. I rolled my hair up and got out.  
The Tube journey was short. I hopped off at the last station and started walking. I remembered the last time I'd traced this path. When I'd made all those pancakes for Liam, Louis, Niall ahd Harry. That had also been the day Lex and Rob had that car accident. They were fine now, but it was hard for them. I felt bad for not paying enough attention to how they were doing. Zayn was starting to get to be much too important.  
Last night had been.....wow. I'd been so exhausted after all of that. I'd hardly had any sleep though, because the sun had risen and Zayn had gotten a phone call from Niall. I hoped things had gone well between Zayn and his sister. I was nervous about that part.  
The guards opened the gate for me once I reached it, and I gazed at the house. It was big and daunting in size, majestic. I knew how much Zayn loved this place, and how much it mattered to him. It was the closest anything had felt like home in a long time.  
Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself. Nothing to get worried about. I could see Zayn at the door, looking outside. He seemed to be focussed on something and didn't see me until I was only a few steps away. He loped down and smiled before crushing my body to his. I buried my face in his shoulder, inhaling his scent. I had missed him.  
''Hey. You're here early,'' he said, not letting me go.  
''Surprise.''  
He pulled back and held my face. ''Thank God you're here. I'm about to elope the country.''  
''What happened?''  
''I told her about you, and she is happy for us. But, now she's asking all kinds of questions about you to the guys, so that she can 'prepare for meeting you'.''  
''What's so bad about that?'' I asked, confused. ''I thought I should be the one who's nervous, not you, or her.''  
''I don't know what she's thinking,'' he muttered. ''You ready?''  
''Just one thing.''  
''Yes?''  
I took his face in my hands and reached up to kiss him. ''I love you.''  
''I love you, too.''  
''Let's go.'' We both walked up the steps and inside the living room. The guys were sprawled out on the sofas. The beautiful girl I immediately recognized as Doniya Malik lifted her head and looked at me. Her eyes suddenly travelled to the way Zayn's and my hand had intertwined. I could feel my cheeks heating up.  
Zayn cleared his throat. ''Don, this is Anya. Anya, meet my sister Doniya.''  
She stood up and came to me. ''Nice to meet you,'' she said with a smile.  
''Nice to meet you, too.''  
''Zayn's told me all about you. He's obsessed with you, actually,'' she laughed.  
''Me, too.''  
''I can see that. Though, seriously, what do you see in this doofus?''  
''Hey!'' Zayn objected.  
''You're not a doofus,'' I said to him, and then turned to his sister. ''He's a doofus sometimes.''  
Zayn fake-pouted. Doniya ignored him. ''I know, right?''  
I nodded. ''So how long are you here for?''  
''A few days. I leave on Thursday.''  
''Oh, I wished we would have longer to get to know each other!''  
''Me, too, but there's this submission thing on Friday, and the prof's a pighead,'' she snorted.  
''I know what you mean!''  
''What are the profs like at London University?''  
''The same,'' I sighed. ''Most of them are okay, but a lot of pigheaded people.''  
Paul came in all of a sudden. ''Doniya, hey.'' they gave each other a hug. He looked at both of us. ''Girls, I'm going to have to tell you to continue to chatter somewhere else. Work awaits.''  
''Oh, sure,'' I said, trying to extract my hand from Zayn's grip. He didn't loosen his hand. ''Zayn?''  
''Oh, sorry.'' He let me go.  
''Something wrong?'' Now I was concerned.  
''I don't want to work!'' he said like a little kid.  
I chuckled. ''Just for a little while? I'll be right back.''  
He pouted like a child. ''Fine.''  
I kissed his cheek, earning a 'woo-hoo' from Niall, which made me blush. I turned away, following Doniya to the garden. Well, it was more like a humongous lawn. One Direction could probably do a concert here; it was that big.  
Doniya and I sat on the swing. She looked at me. ''You're.....not what I expected.''  
''What do you mean?''  
''You're very similar to my brother. He doesn't usually go for girls like that. He goes for.....more outgoing and bubbly people.''  
''We were just friends for a month or so. We just had that connection. As a matter of fact, my exes were nothing like me, either.''  
''It's a good thing. When two people have similar personalities, it's easier for a more understanding relationship. It becomes almost effortless.''  
''I agree. Can I ask you a question?'' I questioned tentatively.  
''Sure, why not?''  
''Have your parents changed their minds about Zayn? He's still quite affected by it. I try not to bring it up. I wish I could do something.'' Sadness engulfed me.  
''You really love him, don't you?''  
''Yeah.'' Embarrassed, I wiped an escaped tear away.  
''I'm glad he has you,'' she said gently, holding my hand. I held back. ''And I'm not really bearing good news at the moment. Things at home are....not good.''  
''What happened?'' My voice broke.  
''Mum and Dad......they're still kinda not cool about Zayn's schedule. Yesterday Safaa asked me why Dad hates Zayn.''  
''This is just so wrong.''  
''I agree. She's just a kid! It's not right to divide her like that.''  
''So you came here to tell him that?''  
''Yes. Also because I was worried about him. But I realized I didn't need to be! I mean, look at you guys. You're doing great.''  
''Thanks. I really don't think he's going to take it well, though.''  
''I know. But if I don't tell him and he finds out from somewhere else, it'll be that much worse. I've made that mistake before. By trying to protect him, I just hurt him more.''  
''Zayn does need a lot of protection.''  
''Yeah, and he doesn't know it. Thinks he's so macho or something.''  
I giggled. ''If he hears us, he's going to go crazy.''  
''Yeah. You're good to talk to. You know, Zayn was worried I wouldn't like you.''  
''He was, huh? He worries about the silliest things sometimes.''  
''Mm-hmm.''  
''He said something about you a long time ago, actually, when we were just friends.''  
''What did he say?''  
''He said you're always embarrassing him.''  
''More like he's always embarrassing me! One time, we'd gone to this wedding, and I was still in school back then, and I was seeing this guy. We were from the bride's side and he was actually from the groom's side, and Zayn spread a rumour that we were going to marry each other right there!''  
''Oh my God. I did not know he could be so whacked out!''  
''Yeah. The guy was sweet about it but it didn't really last long.''  
''If you don't mind my asking, is there a guy right now?''  
She shook her head. ''Not really. I mean, there is this one guy, but we don't even talk.''  
''Tell me about him.''  
She proceeded to explain about him, and I knew I had a new friend. Maybe Zayn should've worried after all. Worried we were going to gang up on him!


	37. 35. Surprise, Surprise

Anya's POV

The guys finished their work at about 2 pm, which resulted in an extremely late lunch. Lou and I told Doniya the story of how Zayn had slipped into the hospital wearing a disguise just for me. It had warmed and touched my heart, even though he had risked a lot. Then I got to hear all about Zayn when he was a kid from her, and also a lot from what the guys knew about him. It was fun, even though I understood why he had kept these stories to himself.  
By the end of lunch, it was 3 pm. Liam was going to see Sophia, Louis to see Eleanor and Harry was going to Skype with Kendall. That left only four of us; Niall, Zayn, Doniya and me. We were just chatting about a number of things, mostly the band, when Doniya's phone started ringing. She looked at the screen and bit her lip.  
''It's that guy,'' she said, looking at me.  
''What guy?'' Zayn asked.  
''Take it!'' I insisted. ''Talk to him!''  
''I don't know what to say.''  
''Don't be scared! Take it!''  
She finally answered the call, taking it outside. I watched her as she left.  
''What was that all about?'' Niall asked while Zayn gave me the stink-eye.  
''Doniya likes this guy from her uni, but they're on friendly terms only. He just called her.'' I craned my neck to see her, but couldn't.  
''Really?'' Zayn eyed me. ''And you know about this how, exactly?''  
''She told me.''  
''She told you and not me.''  
''Zayn,'' I explained, ''you're a guy. I'm a girl. This is girl talk. And, why would she tell you about who she's crushing on? Hard?''  
''Hard?'' he mused but then reconsidered. ''Okay, fine. I guess you're right.'' We gazed into each other's eyes.  
Niall burst the bubble. ''I guess I should go now.'' He left quickly.  
''I should remember to thank Niall for that,'' Zayn said, ''later,'' cupping my face and reaching towards me, closer. I reached out, too. We kissed each other slowly, languidly, our lips fusing in a perfect, hot meld.  
''You are hot,'' he whisper-groaned against my skin, our noses touching.  
''As are you. So hot.'' I kissed him again. He pushed me down on the sofa, getting on top. His knees at my hips, he hovered over me, kissing me, inducing more passion. My hands grabbed his back and pulled him lower. His hands held my waist while he plunged his tongue into my mouth. He tasted me deeply in long, languid strokes, spurring us both to want more. I stopped him when he was about to rip my dress off.  
''Zayn,'' I breathed. ''Stop.''  
He pulled away from me, looking hurt and confused.  
''We can't do this.''  
''Why not?'' I'd hurt him, goddammit.  
''We're on a sofa, in the living room. Anyone could walk in on us.''  
''Oh, right.'' He straightened immediately. ''Whoops.''  
I sat up.  
''Oh my God, I'm so sorry, guys,'' Doniya said from behind me. ''I'm leaving, I'm leaving.'' She zoomed off before I could get a grip on myself.  
I smoothed out my dress and let down my hair. I ran my fingers through it quickly, rushing it.  
''We got a little too close there,'' Zayn said, repentant.  
''Other than our location, it was really good,'' I reassured him.  
''Really?''  
''Really.''  
''Want to go upstairs?''  
I widened my eyes.  
''What?'' He seemed offended.  
''You do realise where we are, right? You want us to get teased so bad we'll have to run away? You said it yourself, that it gets that bad.''  
''Good point,'' he frowned. ''So, how did the submissions go?''  
''Fine. It was over a lot quicker that I'd expected. Should take about a week to get the verdict. Actually, I've got work waiting for me at home.''  
He pouted. ''Oh, come on, do it later.''  
''You keep making that face, I'll probably fail the year, Zayn,'' I stated.  
''My Anya can never fail,'' he said seriously, ''I know that.''  
I rolled my eyes. ''Academic success is important for me.''  
''Oh, I know, I know. I just don't want to be alone here when Doniya comes back to talk about what she just saw.''  
''Oh, yeah. But I really should go.'' I looked at my watch.  
''Fine,'' he sighed. ''Bye.''  
''Bye, hon.'' I pecked his lips, standing up.  
''Let me drop you home, at least?''  
''Zayn, I'm not a kid. I can protect myself. I'll go home on my own.''  
''Okay.'' He made a morose face.  
I had an idea. ''Tell you what, when you come over tonight, you'll have a HUGE surprise waiting for you.''  
''What kind?'' His eyes lit up.  
''Sorry, no hints. Come over at 10. Bye.'' I rushed out before he could badger me any more. The idea was good, but I wondered if I could actually pull it off.

Zayn's POV

I watched as Anya left. That frilly dress was damn sexy. To think I'd nearly taken her on this very sofa.  
''Zayn?'' Doniya called out, sitting next to me.  
''Huh?'' I honed in on her.  
''Where did Anya go?'' She looked excited.  
''She went home. Study duties and stuff. Why?''  
''None of your business,'' she said curtly.  
''Really? And what is this I'm hearing about a guy?''  
''What do you care? Like I said, none of your business. What did she tell you?'' She narrowed her eyes.  
''Nothing else. Just that you like some guy.''  
She slumped. ''Thank God.''  
''That was him, wasn't it?''  
''Yeah.''  
''What did he say?''  
''I'm not saying.''  
''Don,'' I wailed.  
''I am not discussing this with my baby brother.''  
''Excuse me, Doniya, your baby brother is 21 years old.''  
''But you'll always be younger than me!'' She touched the tip of my nose.  
''Whatever,'' I grumbled.  
''So why are you so down? You were this close-'' she pinched her fingers together ''-to getting lucky. Guys like that.''  
''Very generic terms, those,'' I scoffed.  
''You're telling me you didn't want to,'' she challenged. ''Oh, come on Zayn, I know you better that that. You're really going to lie to me?''  
''I guess not. I did, but I was wrong to get so carried away. It was so wrong, location-wise. I need to get this shit under control.  
''I didn't used to be like this before, Don. I didn't need sex all the time. Now I do, all of a sudden. All I can think about, whenever I look at her, is to just grab her and-''  
''I got it, Zayn,'' she cut me off. ''Now I'm getting images.''  
''Sorry. Though, I have to ask you something.''  
''Yeah?''  
''What would be an ideal gift to give Anya?''  
''Why the sudden urge to please your girlfriend? Or shall I say, please in another way than you already are.''  
''Hey! Enough with the sex stuff. I'm serious here. I'm asking because Anya said she has a surprise for me tonight, and I want to make sure I can give her something she'd like. Is that such a problem?''  
My sister pursed her lips. ''Okay. What a girl wants, actually, what all women want, is appreciation. You know that. You've been close to Mum, me, Waliyah, Safaa for years. You know how to treat a girl right. So I'm pretty sure you're good at showering her with praise.''  
I shrugged. ''Yeah, pretty much.''  
''Have you guys ever been on a date?''  
The question startled me. ''That's kind of impossible for me, Don.''  
She rolled her eyes. ''Nothing is impossible. So you haven't. No big deal. Take her out somewhere now. She'll like it. Trust me.''  
''But where?''  
''You'll have to think of that.'' She patted my knee, getting up. Would the challenges of this life keep me from having a normal relationship with Anya? Probably. A more pressing question at the moment was -  
What surprise had Anya planned for me?


	38. 36. Strip. Tease.

Zayn's POV

I planned everything for the date I wanted to ask Anya on. The house was pretty big, but I was sure that whatever corner I tried to spend time with Anya in, the guys would sniff us out. I didn't really have another option, though. We did have a pretty great lawn that joined the forest in the back, which would be quite perfect as a venue. I even asked Paul. He agreed, letting me do as such. As for the guys, I'd decided to shoo them away to our flats in central London, where we lived when we weren't hiding or on holiday. I'd considered telling them to go to the house in Cheshire, but later decided against it, realizing I didn't want them to go without me, and also that they wouldn't leave anyway, probably. That was something we did as a band, together, alone.  
Preparations had been large. I deeply focussed on the date, knowing it had to make a large impact on the woman I was doing it all for. I needed to show her exactly how I felt and how caring I could be. How much I cared for her.  
The date was yet another excuse for me to think about something else than what was going to happen tonight. What was Anya's surprise? I couldn't wait. She hadn't even dropped off a hint. My mild curiosity had turned into a festering need to know.  
I was distracted all through dinner, thinking about it. I was coming up zip, though. Nobody poked and prodded me today, and for that I was a little too glad, actually. Maybe Doniya had talked to them. It was probable. I knew she was just looking out for me, but I didn't really need her protection.  
I dressed casually tonight, because I was too harrowed to bother with dressing up. My concentration was scattered. I reached Anya's house at 9:55 pm, five minutes earlier than she had said. I rang her apartment. She buzzed me in, knowing it would be me. I had never once been late meeting her, always early or on time. Well, mostly early.  
She opened the door before I could even knock. She was wearing a long, full-sleeved trench coat. Her hair was down, loose and hung down her shoulders. Her face was its creamy colour with sexy red lipstick.  
I gulped. She turned around and walked inside, and I noticed that she was wearing boots. Black leather boots. God damn. I was liking this surprise already!  
I followed her to her bedroom. The lights were low and a sultry red. She turned around and looked at me. ''Close the door and sit,'' she commanded in a low voice. I did as she said.  
She came close to me, running her long fingers across my shoulder. ''No moving,'' she whispered in my ear, nibbling on it. I gulped. She moved away, unbuttoning her coat. More black fabric became visible as she slowly took it off. She was wearing a strapless and quite busty black dress whick hugged her figure. It was leather. She bent down sideways, looking at me sexily as she unzipped one boot, and then the other. I watched hungrily as she stepped out of them, revealing her legs. She was wearing stockings. Stockings. Oh my God, I was going to die from desire.  
She stepped closer to me, running her hands up my legs. I grabbed her arms, but just as I was about to pull her to me, she danced out of the way. ''No, no,'' she said, wagging a finger at me. She unzipped her dress slowly, teasing me. I was trying to concentrate. My jeans were getting incredibly tight.  
She finally stripped it off, pouting at me with those thick, red lips. I stared at her body, dumbfounded. She was wearing an incredibly lacy black bra and panties which just about framed those most desired parts of her rather than concealed them. She came closer again, and I reached out to pull her towards me. I was unsuccessful; I simply stroked the skin at her waist in the process. ''Now you're just making things worse for yourself.''  
''Let me take you,'' I moaned, half-wild. I couldn't concentrate. ''I need to take you.''  
''Take your clothes off.''  
I did, as quickly as I could. The relief was minimal.  
''Stay there.'' She gently lowered her panties and proceeded to unhook her bra. Once she was fully naked, she said, ''Now you can take me.''  
Something snapped inside me in that moment, and I forgot about everything else other than my burning, festering need to bury myself deep inside her. I pushed her to the wall, kissing her deeply. She grabbed my hair as I shoved my tongue down her throat.  
She pulled away, moving her lips to my neck. She sucked and bit on my skin, as I struggled to breathe. I finally managed to get ahold of her legs, lifting them up from her knees. Her body pressed into the wall to regain balance, but that didn't stop her from giving me love bites all over my shoulder.  
My erection was starting to get almost painful now. I looked down, wearing the rubber and positioning myself correctly. Anya buried her face in the crook of my neck as I pushed inside her. I could feel the shiver run across her skin.  
I pushed into her, over and over again. She grabbed my buttocks, pulling me inside her, just as mad with desire as I was. She sucked on my skin, moaning against it as she toppled over the cliff and into a hot and sweaty climax. Her muscles tightened around me, making me lose my head. I groaned loudly, not being able to stop myself.  
Anya pulled back and looked at me. We were both out of breath. ''That has to be the sexiest thing I have ever experienced,'' she breathed in my face.  
''Yeah, for me too,'' I agreed. ''That was also the best surprise anyone has ever given me.'' She smiled. I pulled out, heading to the bathroom and disposing of the condom. When I came back, Anya was lying down on the bed, gazing at me. ''You look exhausted.''  
''We didn't get a lot of sleep last night,'' she murmured as I climbed in next to her.  
''Yeah. I have to ask you something.''  
''Yes?''  
''Would you like to go out on a date with me?''  
She smiled, a little surprised. ''Of course. I'd love that.''  
I beamed at her. ''Thank you.''  
''When?''  
''Uh, not until Thursday, at least. After Doniya leaves.''  
She laughed. ''Yeah, that's probably a good idea.''  
''You really got along with her,'' I observed.  
''Yeah, I did. I like her. She's fun, and we both love you.'' She palmed my face.  
''I love you both, too.''  
''Did she say why she's here?''  
''Is there a specific reason?'' I thought about it. ''There should be, because she is not a casual visitor. But she hasn't said anything yet. Do you know anything?''  
''She told me,'' Anya murmured. ''She'll probably talk to you tomorrow.''  
''You're not going to tell me?''  
''No. It's not mine to tell, Zayn.''  
''I'm offended.''  
''You shouldn't be, not after what we just did,'' she snorted.  
''Okay, fine,'' I gave in, ''I'll talk to her.''  
Anya climbed on top of me. ''You mind?'' she asked, kissing my chest.  
''No.''  
''Good night, Zayn. I love you forever.''  
''I love you, too. Hopefully forever.''  
She poked me.  
''Forever.'' I closed my eyes.


	39. 37. Changes Afront

Zayn's POV

I woke up with a start. It was already morning. I realized I was sweating. Irritated, I threw the covers back. I felt hot. Wait a minute, where was Anya?  
As if telepathic, she walked in, wearing greenish trousers and a brown shirt. Her hair was tied up an a messy bun, a few strands hanging on her face. She smiled at me.  
''Hey,'' I said.  
''Good morning,'' she greeted me. She was carrying a tray in her hand. ''Did you get your beauty sleep?''  
''I did,'' I mumbled, rubbing my eyes, ''but I woke up all of a sudden.''  
''Bad dreams?''  
''I don't really remember,'' I sighed. ''Is that for me?'' I pointed at the tray.  
''Breakfast in bed for you,'' she smiled. ''I woke early and knew you probably wouldn't be up a while, so I made it for you, though I doubt you'll eat it all.'' She opened the lid.  
''Chicken wings? Eggs? Toast? Yeah, you know how to make me happy.''  
''Mum used to say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. She was right.''  
I dug in. ''Oh, yeah....that's good.''  
''Yeah?'' She took a bite. ''Okay, yeah, I see your point.''  
''When do you have to go to college?''  
She looked at her wristwatch. ''About fifteen minutes.''  
''Then I should go.''  
''You can leave after me. I don't mind,'' she shrugged.  
''Really? You don't have secrets here you're afraid I'll unearth?'' I challenged.  
''I do have secrets,'' she stated, ''but that doesn't mean I don't want you to know them. It just means that I can't tell you.''  
''You mean I'm going to have to guess?''  
''Well, yeah,'' she admitted, ''but only if you want to.''  
I accepted the challenge. ''It's on.'' My phone buzzed. It was a message from Don. 'Are you ever going to come home?!' I rolled my eyes.  
''Who is it?''  
''My melo, overdramatic sister. She's asking me if I'm 'ever going to come home'.''  
She laughed her pealing bell-like laughter. ''She's awesome to hang out with.''  
''Really?''  
''Yeah.'' Her phone rang once. She looked at the screen. ''It's Tanya. I gotta get my butt to college. Academic crisis.''  
''Okay, I'll leave in a bit. Give me the spare key.'' I stretched my palm out.  
She gave me an entire set instead. ''Keep 'em. They're yours.''  
''I'm honoured.''  
''I'm glad. Love you. Bye.'' She got up, kissing my head through my messy hair. I watched her go.

I got home 30 minutes later, only to see that Doniya was standing on the porch, talking animatedly on the phone. I wondered if it was that guy. She seemed to really like him, but I wasn't going to jump to conclusions yet. I went to my room and changed into sweats after brushing my teeth. Just as I was about to go to the gym area, my infuriating sister appeared.  
''Finally,'' she breathed. ''I thought you guys were going to go at it all day.''  
''Doniya!'' I felt embarrassed.  
''My brother, the blusher.''  
''Do you mind? I want to go to the gym to work out,'' I said rather rudely. She was probably the only woman in my life I could talk rudely to.  
''I wanted to talk to you,'' she pouted.  
''Can't this wait till later? I know you're just going to tease me,'' I complained. ''Plus, I need to go do my weights. My triceps are starting to sag.'' I held up my arm. ''See?''  
''This HAS to be the first time I have ever heard an 21-year old guy talk about something sagging. Vain much, bro?''  
''Yess. That's the way she loves me,'' I referred to my girlfriend. ''Can I go now?''  
''Fine, go.'' She sounded exasperated.  
I didn't wait any longer and bolted to the other side of the house : the gym area.

Anya's POV

When I got to uni, I could see Tanya waiting at the gate nervously. I walked up to her.  
''Anya, you have to help me.''  
''What happened?''  
''I have a Mathematics test on Conics next week. I'm flipping out. I need you,'' she said desperately.  
''Okay, okay. I'll help. When is the test?''  
''Coming Monday,'' she informed me.  
''That's not good. Why didn't they tell you sooner?''  
''I don't know. The prof just hates us all,'' she said bitterly.  
''We'll figure it out, 'kay?'' I soothed her. ''I'll think of a schedule that'll work for us both by lunchtime. Now stop fretting and go sit your butt down in Physics. I'll handle it.''  
''Thanks!'' She hugged me and went to class. I was puzzled; Tanya was never this freaked out about anything. Was something else brewing?

By lunch, I had it all figured out. We all met at the table as usual. Everyone was looking at me.  
''What happened? Why are you guys staring at me?''  
''Um, I don't know if anyone's told you this,'' Rob said, ''but you look different.''  
''Did you cut your hair or something?'' Lex asked.  
''No, I didn't. Guys, I haven't done anything different.''  
''Maybe you have.'' This was Zenith. ''You've....changed.''  
''Good or bad?'' I was tentative.  
''Good, I think,'' he replied. ''I don't know.''  
''How's the new boyfriend?'' Tanya asked, chilled out again.  
''Pretty phenominal,'' I answered, earning an 'oooh'. ''Shut up.''  
''Did you get a schedule done yet?'' Tanya questioned.  
''Yeah. Here's what I'm thinking. Why don't we study at my house? It'll be best. It's quiet there, no one to bother us.''  
''Um, Anya, what about your boyfriend? He drops over every night, doesn't he?'' Zen teased me.  
I shot him a look. ''Who told you that?''  
''Nobody,'' he sniggered. ''I was going around there once when I saw him downstairs. I couldn't recognize the guy, but I thought it was him.''  
''Shut up.''  
''So it was,'' he prodded.  
''Shut up. Tanya, is that okay?''  
''Yeah sure,'' she shrugged. ''It's better than my place anyways.''  
''Deal. So, tonight?''  
''Yeah, that's fine by me,'' she agreed. ''What time is okay for you?''  
''Come over as early as you can, actually. There's a lot to cover in Conics,'' I stated.  
''Yeah, I know what you mean. I'll just go home and then come by.''  
''Great. What do you think about Chinese for dinner?'' I propositioned.  
''Yeah!'' She was enthusiastic. ''That place in Shoreditch square is killer.''  
The bell rang. ''Okay, see you then,'' I said, picking up my tray. ''I gotta go.''  
Zenith and I walked to our next class. ''So, how's it going with the boyfriend?'' he said conversationally.  
''Pretty good so far,'' I answered.  
''I'm happy to see you so happy.''  
''I can see that. Though could you tone down on the teasing a little bit? It's irritating.''  
''It's my job!'' he laughed. ''If I don't irritate you, who will?''  
''Good point. So what's going on with you?''  
''Not a lot. Just the usual. Rich-ass parents who don't give a fuck about their only child.''  
''So nothing new, then.''  
''Yupp. Just the same old sob story. What about your parents?''  
''They think I'm being a good girl.''  
''Are you?'' He wagged an eyebrow at me.  
''Not even in the littlest am I a good girl. Not anymore, at least.''  
''Oh, wow. Getting down and dirty all the time?''  
''Shut up,'' I grumbled. I'd lost count as of how many times I'd said 'shut up' in the past hour.  
''Whatever.'' We got in to class, and I was glad for the escape. This study thing with Tanya was going to cut down on my time with Zayn, but I knew I had to help her. He would understand. Right?


	40. 38. Bad News

Zayn's POV

After a long and sweaty workout with my band mates, I took a nice hot shower, making sure I smelled immaculate once I was done. Since none of us could cook, the guys had convinced Doniya to make lunch. She'd made a salad and spaghetti bolognaise the way she always made it, with lots of meat sauce and spices. Yeah....mmm.  
Lunch was the loud event it always had to be. Everyone praised my older sister's cooking, and so did I, even though I didn't like doing it! But I had to admit, Doniya would always be a thousand times better at cooking than me.  
After lunch, Doniya got up to do the plates. I volunteered to help her. She had wanted to talk to me about something this morning, right? Now was her chance.  
''So, what was Anya's surprise?'' she asked me casually as I dried a plate.  
''It was something I'd rather not talk about. Though she did say yes to the date.''  
''I'm glad. We need to talk, though.'' She sounded tense.  
''That's what I'm here for.''  
''Things back in Bradford.....'' she trailed off.  
''Not good, are they? I knew it.'' I sunk a little.  
''Yeah, well, not much has changed. Zayn, they've nearly turned Waliyah and Safaa against you,'' she said in a low voice. ''That day, Safaa asked me why Dad hates you.''  
I took a deep breath. ''Why? I mean, what does he have to gain from this?'' I was trying hard not to cry. ''She's just a kid.''  
''I know, that's what I said.''  
''And what about Waliyah?''  
''Dad convinced her into thinking that her appearance in 'Story Of My Life' was just another publicity stunt set to benefit you and no one else,'' she conveyed morosely. ''I'm sorry, Zayn.''  
The tears streamed down my face. She hugged me from the side.  
''It's okay, it's okay. Sshh, Zayn. It'll be fine,'' she comforted.  
''You know it isn't,'' I sobbed, ''you know it isn't. What am I supposed to do?''  
''Nothing. Just be yourself.''  
I straightened, wiping at my tears. ''Sorry,'' I apologised once I'd calmed down. ''I didn't mean to get all weepy on you.''  
''It's fine. You needed to cry and let it all out. I'm the one person who actually has an idea how many times you've cried in your life.''  
''Yeah. I used to be such a crybaby.'' I remembered my childhood.  
She patted my shoulder. ''You were the victim of bullying. That doesn't really make you a crybaby. Anyone would break under the pressure.''  
''Hmmm. Thanks, Don.''  
''For what?''  
''Being here for me. I needed you.''  
She smiled.  
''You're the best older sister anyone could've ever had,'' I said sincerely. ''I love ya.''  
''Me, too. You're my lil bro.''  
I laughed. ''Don't attempt swagger, you suck at it.''  
''I do, huh?'' She smacked me with the towel.  
''Hey! That hurt!''  
''It had better!''  
We were back to our joking. The day was fun, except for the bad news Doniya had conveyed. Well, life couldn't be all good, right?

Anya called in the evening.  
''Hey, honey,'' I crooned, ''how're you doing?''  
''Just fine,'' she sighed.  
''What about that academic emergency?''  
''I called to talk to you about that actually,'' she said.  
''What about it?''  
''Um, we're going to have to cut down on the time we spend together.''  
''Did you get any grade less than an A on some assignment?'' I asked.  
''It's not me, it's Tanya.''  
''Now I'm confused.''  
''About one and a half months ago, Tanya asked me to help her in Conics when she would have a test. It's an important Maths topic in her curriculum, and she has a test on Monday. We're going to study at my place.''  
''Okay......so when should I come over?''  
''Not before ten. I hope you understand.''  
''Of course I do!'' I exclaimed. ''Why wouldn't I?''  
''Because I don't understand myself! I wanted to say no, but it IS my responsibility. I can't do that to her. I keep my promises.''  
''So you're saying that your conscience wouldn't let you say no?'' I confirmed.  
''Exactly.''  
''You know, that isn't such a bad thing, Anya.''  
''I know. I'm glad you understand, and know me so well. I gotta go now, Zayn, she'll be here any minute.''  
''Talk to me until she gets there. Say something romantic, maybe?''  
''Hmm....how about I love you to the moon and back?''  
''That's nice. I love you to the moon and back, too.''  
I heard a doorbell ring in the background.  
''I'm guessing that's Tanya.''  
''Yes. I gotta hang up on you now.''  
''Okay. I'll see you at 10.''  
''Bye, Zayn.''  
''Bye.''

Anya's POV

I opened the door to a messy-looking Tanya. She walked in without a word, sitting down on my sofa and dumping her bag on the floor at her feet.  
''Ungh,'' she groaned.  
''Anything wrong?''  
''I hate Maths,'' she said bitterly.  
''Then why did you take it as an elective?'' I laughed. She shot me a look. ''Okay, sorry.'' I held my hands up in surrender.  
''Let's just get this shebang started.''  
''The counter is a better place for that,'' I stated, ''you'll just fall asleep on the couch.''  
''Is it that boring?'' she moaned.  
''Not at all. You will find it very interesting once you know what's going on, once you understand it.'' We both sat down on opposite sides. ''Okay, gimme your textbook.'' She handed it to me. I read through the index. ''Only 50 pages?'' I asked.  
''Only? Only?!'' she screamed. ''You have got to be kidding me here!''  
''Calm down, Tanya,'' I said, ''it's not the end of the world.''  
''Yeah, but it's going to be the end of my academia!'' she exaggerated.  
''Relax,'' I breathed. ''Is anything wrong? You're never this nervous.''  
She took a deep breath. ''Sorry. I'm really hyper.''  
''What's up?'' I asked, concerned. ''You should get it out of our system before we start. You'll have a much more open mind.''  
''I'm late,'' she whispered.  
It took a minute for her point to sink in. ''How many days?'' I was calm.  
''Three.'' She held up fingers. ''I'm never late. Never.''  
''Let's not jump to conclusions here, okay? Have you taken a test?''  
''No, I haven't. I bought a few of different brands yesterday, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm so scared.''  
''Don't be. Hey, I'll help.'' I rubbed her shoulder. ''Why didn't you say anything?''  
''What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, I might be pregnant'? That sounds like I'm a slut.''  
''You're not. I know. Why don't you take it now? Then we'll know,'' I gentled.  
''Okay.'' She stood, heading to the bathroom.  
''I'm right outside,'' I reassured through the door. ''Can I ask you something while we wait?''  
''Sure.'' Her voice wobbled.  
''Who was the guy you think?''  
''I only had sex with one guy in the last month, and he wasn't really very good at it, so-''  
''Do I know him?''  
''No. We met at a bar.''  
''I don't want to sound like an old auntie, nor do I want to criticize you, but you should really stop with the one night stands.''  
''You don't sound like an old auntie,'' she reassured me. ''You're right.'' She opened the door. ''Let's see. I took three.''  
She laid them on the counter. One of them would show either a plus or minus sign, a second one would show a green or red dot, and the last one would show one line or two. We were both holding our breaths.  
''Oh, thank God,'' I breathed, when a minus sign, a red dot and two lines became visible.  
''Yess! I'm not pregnant!'' Tanya shouted, hugging me.  
''Wait, wait,'' I said once she'd calmed down, ''but then why were you late?''  
She shrugged. ''I dunno.''  
''You should go see your gyno. Till then, you're coming with me. We're going to study Conics.''  
She shrugged again, and I silently felt relieved. Tanya was back.


	41. 39. A Lot To Take

Anya's POV

Tanya and I worked at it through dinner, taking a break to order over the phone. We ate was we read. That slowed us down, but that was better than doing nothing, right? We didn't converse about her pregnancy scare any more, but it had unsettled me. Even I didn't know what was going on in my own head. No time to stew over it now.  
It was quarter to ten when she finally surrendered. ''Phew, I can't do it anymore,'' she breathed, mentally exhausted.  
I laughed. ''We're nowhere near done. We can stop now for today. We'll pick it back up tomorrow.''  
''Ungh. There's more?''  
''A lot more!'' I exclaimed. ''We only studied the parabola today. We still have to start the ellipse AND the hyperbola. And after that, lots of sums await for you to solve them. Then you gotta learn all the formulae and do final prep for the test.''  
She buried her head in her hands. ''Total wreck.''  
''Relax. You can do it.''  
''I'm not a natural at these things; I'm not like Rob,'' she said.  
''Hey, you don't need to be like Rob. You're YOU. Be proud of that. Go home tonight and relax. Do NOT study yet. Let the extra information permeate into your brain.''  
She grinned. ''Will do, Miss. You'd be a great private tutor. Make lots of money.''  
''I've never thought about it.''  
''Yeah, I mean, you're pretty shy, but you've got a real talent. Maybe you should consider it,'' she suggested.  
''I will.''  
''I should go now,'' she said, looking at her watch. ''It's getting late.''  
I didn't stop her, because I was expecting Zayn. ''Okay, then. See you tomorrow at uni.''  
''Bye! Have fun with your boyfriend!'' She ran out before I could chide her for her remark.  
I blew out a frustated breath. This teasing was never, ever going to stop. Was it? Nope. Never.  
At that moment, my intercom buzzed, and I pressed the button. It was no longer than a minute when he was standing in my doorway, looking at me broodingly. He walked in, kissing my cheek lightly.  
''Hey,'' I greeted. ''Perfect timing, actually. Tanya just left.''  
He snorted. ''I was waiting downstairs in the car with a guard. I thought she was never going to leave.''  
I laughed. ''That's sort of mean, but I don't really care.''  
He pinched my nose lightly. ''You're so cute sometimes.''  
''You, too, when you do that.''  
''Listen, I need to talk to you,'' he asserted. He flopped down on the sofa, extending an arm toward me. I snuggled into him.  
''What is it?'' I asked softly.  
''Doniya told me why she came,'' he said coolly. I struggled to find any strain in his voice. There was none. I concentrated harder as he spoke. ''It's hard to believe things could get this bad. I had never imagined this would happen. Can't they see that this is my life? I'm so perfectly happy, and they keep ruining it. I was doing fine until they started freaking out. I used to be content with my lifestyle. Sure, I missed them, but I could live with it. I was living my DREAM. What more could a guy want?  
''And then they had to drop the bombs. A lot of them. Again, and again and again.'' His voice broke, but he went on anyway. ''I was so broken.....there was no seeming way to put me back together. The guys and Paul....they had to see me go through that. I put them through all this pain.'' He was shaking, sobbing, all of his pain tumbling out of him. I could feel something break inside me. I couldn't bear seeing the man I loved tortured. It killed me.  
I wrapped my arms around him, stroking his back like I would a crying child. I felt hurt and immediately protective; if anyone tried to hurt him again, I would end them.  
His tears wetted my shoulder. It took a long time; I cried, too. When he finally lifted his head to look at me, his hazels burned. With pain. Intense pain. And gratitude. And so many of those emotions that made me go ooh-la-la inside.  
''Thank you,'' he choked out, ''I couldn't have done this without you. I couldn't have talked about it, let out all my pain.''  
''You don't have to thank me,'' I said in a soft voice. ''I'm right here for you, no matter what.''  
''I can see that.'' He stared at me intensely, and then changed the topic. ''So, how did it go with Tanya?''  
''The studying part went well. I think she understood everything that we went over today. There's still a lot to do, but she can do it. The idea is to do more in less time.''  
''And was there another part than studying?'' he asked, cavalier.  
''Actually,'' I frowned, ''yes.''  
''Well then, tell me quickly. Let's turn that frown upside down.'' His fingertip traced the shape of my lips. I shivered slightly.  
''She's a really calm person by nature. The most chilled-out I know. But she was acting really hyper today. I noticed it even in uni, but I just knew something was wrong when she came over. So I asked her. After some poking and prodding, she told me that she may be pregnant. I was shocked, but I made her take the test here. It was negative.''  
''Phew,'' he muttered. ''That's a relief.''  
''Yeah, well, she was pretty over the moon.''  
''She needs to go to her OB and check things out though, right?'' he confirmed.  
''Yupp. Something may be wrong there. I'm just surprised she wasn't on the pill,'' I expressed. ''I mean, I am, and so is Lexie.''  
''Maybe she took some antibiotics or something that knocked the pill out.''  
''Maybe, but she didn't say,'' I mused. ''At least I don't have to worry.''  
''Hmmm.''  
''So what did you do all day?''  
''Hung out with my sister and the guys,'' he answered. ''We had fun. I even got a chance to tell her some of the embarrassing things we've been up to recently.''  
''Yeah? And what were those?''  
''I can't tell you.''  
''Why are you playing hard to get?''  
''They're embarrassing! Doniya knows the worst things about me, so I figured, what the heck, the joke's on me.''  
''Okay. I won't ask.''  
''Trust me, you don't want to know.''  
''Fine.''  
''So, can I take you to the bedroom now?'' he asked.  
''You can, but you may not,'' I said, getting up. ''I'm perfectly capable of walking myself to my bedroom.''  
''Okay.'' He followed me, shutting the door behind him.

The sex was insane. Insanely glorious, that is. We just couldn't stop ourselves, or each other; it was our wildest time yet. Yet, because it could be wilder. It could always be wilder.  
We both slumped onto the bed, exhausted. ''You are unbelievable,'' he groaned, staring at my breasts. ''Just look at you.''  
I looked down at myself, and then looked at him. ''Look at YOU.''  
He shrugged. ''I drive you crazy, don't I?''  
''You have NO idea,'' I grinned, turning on my stomach. A strand of my hair came onto my face. He stroked it away, letting his hand stay there. ''This is what's going to happen now, isn't it?''  
''What is going to happen now?''  
''We'll just want to jump each other's bones whenever we are alone together.''  
''Yeah. That might happen. We should spend more time together, then,'' he said cheekily, but was then serious. ''We need to keep talking, keep the communication more than just sexual.''  
''I know,'' I nodded. ''That won't be so hard. I can talk to you about anything.''  
''Me, too. You're my everything.''  
''You're my everything, too. I love you.''  
''I love you. Good night.''  
''Good night, Zayn.''


	42. 40. Goodbye Doniya

Anya's POV

It was Thursday now, and Tanya still hadn't made an appointment with her OB. I was getting more and more concerned, and that led to scattered concentration. Zayn was evidently troubled to see me disturbed, and he had even suggested talking to her himself, but I doubted she would listen to him. I didn't want to drag him into all this, but I was doing it nevertheless.  
Doniya was leaving today evening, so I'd agreed to go straight to the house after lunch. We hadn't really had a chance to spend a lot of time together, because of the whole studying arrangemet I had with Tanya, but I wanted to say a proper goodbye. Missing an English lecture and a Christianity lecture wasn't really going to pummel my academic achievements, was it?  
I got to the house around one thirty. London University was on one side of the city, and the house on the other. Plus, the Tube was really crowded. Why does it always take more time to reach your destination when you're in a rush?  
The guys, Paul and Doniya had just finished lunch by the looks of it when I got there. Zayn hugged and kissed me, carefully inspecting me to make sure I wasn't obsessing over Tanya. I was fine right now.  
''Get a room,'' Niall muttered under his breath, making everyone laugh.  
''Maybe we will,'' Zayn said, ready to prove his point.  
''According to me, we have all the time in the world to get a room; I don't want to upset Doniya!'' I exclaimed.  
''You guys getting laid is not upsetting,'' she said, ''but keep it in your pants at least until I leave, okay?''  
Zayn and I chuckled in synchronisation.  
''That might be a LOT harder than you think!'' Louis popped, laughing.  
''Lou!'' I moaned.  
''Yes, dear?''  
''Don't tease me.''  
''Of course, dear.'' He smiled tauntingly.  
''Louis.'' This was Zayn.  
''Zayn.'' He mirrored his tone.  
''Enough,'' Doniya commanded. ''Anya, you're coming with me.''  
''Okay.'' I turned to Zayn. ''See you later?''  
''Yeah.''  
I let go of his hand, following Doniya upstairs to one of the guest rooms. ''What's up?''  
''They are driving me crazy,'' she groaned, flopping down on the bed. ''I'm about to flip.''  
''Then why did you visit?''  
''He's my brother, so I had to come, even if it was bearing bad news. That's the deal. I'd nearly forgotten how insane they've become. They get crazier every day. Each time I visit, they've gone more bonkers,'' she explained.  
I grinned. ''Yeah, I get it. I have a lot of mixed feelings when I'm coming over here.''  
''You grin like my brother,'' she observed.  
''His goofy grin? It looks good on him.''  
''Yeah. He's an idiot, though,'' she sighed morosely.  
''Why is he an idiot?''  
''Just 'cause,'' she shrugged. ''He didn't tell you how he felt for AGES! He is a shy guy, but this is seriously too much.''  
''You're forgetting that I could've said something, too, and didn't,'' I pointed out.  
''In the modern world, yes,'' she conceded, ''you could have. But Zayn's old-fashioned in that way. Traditional. So, he should've said something first.  
''You are an idiot, too, though.''  
''What?''  
''You fell in love with my idiot of a brother. So you're an idiot, too,'' she kid.  
''I guess I am,'' I mused. ''Never thought I'd want to be an idiot.''  
''Well, you do now. There's a first time for everything.''  
Something came to mind. ''Hey, what about that guy you were crushing on?''  
Her skin flushed. ''He invited me to study with his group.''  
''And who's in the group?''  
''Just him and me. He's still looking for members,'' she defended. ''I know what this looks like, but I'm glad he's being bold.''  
''Good for you. Let me know how that goes.''  
''Can I ask you something?'' She was tentative.  
''Of course.''  
''It's kinda big, and I don't want to impose on your privacy.''  
''You can go ahead. Unless you want to know my bedroom secrets with your brother, I'll answer you.''  
''Oh my God, that's why he's been so....happy.''  
''Really?''  
''Guess he's having a better time than he let on.''  
''I'll talk to him about that.''  
''God, ew, he's my brother!''  
''If you're uncomfortable, change the topic,'' I allowed.  
''Zayn mentioned you were disturbed.....he didn't say why.''  
''About that,'' I started, and proceeded to tell her the story.  
''No, you're right. She should go,'' she agreed.  
''But she hasn't even made an appointment yet,'' I lamented.  
''Maybe she's just afraid of doctors,'' Doniya suggested.  
''Maybe. Anyway, I've decided to stop obsessiong over it. It's her life, not mine.''  
''True. Life life. Make it large. You ain't gonna get it back once it's gone,'' she drawled. ''Life's like that; it passes you by. I'm the eldest of four siblings; I know what I'm talking about.''  
''That's actually good advice. Thank you, Doniya. I needed that.''  
''Don't mention it,'' she brushed me away. ''So....what should we do now?''  
''I don't know.....you decide.''  
''Gimme your phone number.'' We exchanged phone numbers. ''Now we'll be in touch.''  
We talked a lot, most of it around Zayn. He was our common point; we both loved him. I could see how he had been affected by her presence in his life; how she had shaped this amazing and glorious man. She'd gotten through to him when no one could be capable of even understanding. I realised I was grateful for her presence; if she hadn't been around, Zayn would not be who he was.  
I could see how protective they were about each other, and how they often got into fights about it was no secret. She was elder, so she was protective. He was Zayn, though. The man who thought it was his job, his responsibility to protect everyone and everything around him, needless of their capabilities to do it themselves. I could somehow begin to understand why he was so defending and protective about me; and I loved him even more for it. I had never held him in such high esteem in my thoughts before. I felt proud. He was mine. Mine, and no one else's.  
Doniya guessed as my mind travelled elsewhere. ''Thinking about Z?'' she quizzed.  
''Yes. I really can't lie.''  
''What were you thinking?''  
''You and him.....that's the kind of brother-sister thing everyone wants. You guys are....so extraordinary,'' I revered.  
''Aw, thanks!'' She hugged me from the side. ''We should go downstairs now. Gotta say goodbye to everyone else.''  
''Hmm. Let's,'' I agreed. ''When will I see you again?''  
''It will be awhile. You know what uni's like.''  
The guys looked at us as we descended from the stairs. Zayn moved past me to help Doniya with her bag, brushing my hand in the process. It seemed to express his sadness. The guys quickly said their goodbyes and were gone. Zayn and Doniya stood in the doorway, gazing at each other.  
''Bye, little brother. Don't get in trouble.''  
''I won't. You, too.''  
They hugged tightly. I couldn't tear my eyes off the image even though I knew I was invading their privacy. Something about the vision tugged at my heart.  
''Take care of him,'' she said to me, holding his face. ''And you, take care of her.''  
''Yes,'' we both said together.  
Once she was gone, I walked towards Zayn slowly, as his eyes stayed fixated on the car that led his sister out. He tore his eyes away once she disappeared from his line of sight. He gazed at me with eyes glittering wet. I hugged him.


	43. 41. A Day With Friends (Part 1)

Anya's POV

Doniya was gone, and Zayn's mood swings were giving me whiplash. He was happy, sad, elated, miserable together. I couldn't understand how to help him; I was an only child.  
Meanwhile, I had more to worry about. Tanya had finally made an appointment with her OB for Tuesday evening. The catch was, she wanted me to go with her. I couldn't really say no; it was evident she was desperate.  
More to be concerned about : uni. It had been a struggle to concentrate on my yearly project. I was falling behind on many subjects. This had never happened to me before.  
I decided to spend the day with Rob, Lex and Zen while Tanya studied for her test. We didn't tell her we were getting together; she wouldn't have been able to study if she'd known.  
We met at Zen's flat in central London. Well, you could hardly call it that. It was HUGE. Like a bungalow on the thirteenth floor of an apartment building. Rich parents.  
''So, what's been up?'' Zen greeted me.  
''Nothing much recently. I met Zayn's sister. She's nice.''  
''Which one?'' Lexie called out.  
''The older one.''  
''OMG, you met Doniya Malik?'' she squealed, jumping up and running towards me as Zen shut the door.  
''Yeah.''  
''What's she like?''  
''She's cool.'' I didn't really know what else to say.  
''Calm down, Lex,'' Rob lazed from the couch. ''At least let her relax first.'' She resumed her place next to him.  
''So, how's the boyfriend?'' Rob questioned. ''He keeping you happy and all?''  
''Yeah, mostly. It's hard sometimes,'' I admitted.  
''It is.''  
''But I love him, so nothing I can do about it,'' I shrugged. ''How are you feeling now?''  
''Nearly off all my painkillers,'' he announced proudly. ''It still hurts, though. I'll get over it.''  
''Hmm. You better bounce back soon.''  
''I'm doing it! Meanwhile, I laze around the dorm and do nothing. Gets boring.''  
Something came to mind. ''Guys, I want to apologize for being such a lousy friend. I hardly know what's going on in your lives. I'm much too wrapped up in my romantic fantasy. It's so wrong.  
''I now realise I've been unjust to you. I'm going to try to make it up, of course. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch.''  
''What are you even saying?!'' Zen exclaimed. ''We love ya, honey, but we don't miss ya. You're right here, with us. You haven't wronged us in any way.''  
''I say so, too,'' Rob said. ''Anya, you're being too hard on yourself, okay? We're fine with it. He's more important than we are. We get it.''  
''I was actually warmed when you took the job of teaching Tanya for a week,'' Lex admitted. ''I wouldn't have with a new guy in my life.''  
''But she's not you,'' Zen pointed out. ''What went wrong?''  
I sighed. ''Doniya left, and now his mood swings are giving me whiplash. There's more to this, but guys, can we just catch up, you know? We've hardly hung around recently.''  
''Okay, sure.'' Rob processed my mood. ''How is Tanya?''  
''She's nervous about her test and her appointment with her OB. She even wants me to go with her. I can't really say no now, can I?''  
''You can, though,'' Lexie interjected. ''Anya, you have to learn to say no, okay?''  
''But I want to help her in whatever way I can,'' I insisted. ''This is nothing.''  
''If she would've been preggers, it would've been a whole different story,'' Zen agreed. ''You're doing a good thing. I'm so proud of you.''  
''How come she wasn't on the pill?'' Rob asked.  
I shrugged. ''Beats me. I don't really want to push her, Rob. Once she's ready, we'll know the truth.''  
''Yeah.''  
The conversation drifted off to how well Rob was recuperating, and how his relationship with Lex had suffered a lot because of that. It had been strenuous on both of them, but they were now on the right path. They would make it.  
Zen and I went to the kitchen to cook something for lunch, giving the couple privacy. ''How are you, Zenith?''  
''Good. Though, seriously, if Zayn's hurting you or something-''  
''Don't even think that! I'm shocked you would. He's amazing. He's just having a hard time. We'll get through this.''  
''But why is he so upset?'' he prodded.  
''His family no longer see eye to eye with him. It's bad,'' I whispered.  
''How bad?''  
''Worse than your situation,'' I referred to his family. They were rich-ass people who resented everything their son did.  
He flinched visibly. ''Ouch. Tell him he's in my thoughts.''  
''Sure. Actually, can I ask you for a favour?'' I was tentative.  
''Shoot.''  
''Will you talk to him? You've been living with this for twenty one years. He's new at this.''  
''Of course,'' he said softly, rubbing my arm. ''Anything for you.''  
''Thanks.''  
He changed the topic before my tears could catch up with me. ''I made a pizza dough this morning.''  
''You're going to make pizza?'' I asked incredulously. ''You?''  
''You're going to help me,'' he said curtly.  
''Oh, why not?'' I rolled up the sleeves of my top. ''Let's go.'' I opened his fridge. It was full of everything that screamed Italian, especially pizza. ''Wow.''  
''Yeah. I went kinda crazy on the shopping last night,'' he admitted sheepishly.  
''Yeah!''  
''I figured, to hell with it, let's go barmy for once. We all love Italian cuisine, so suits me.''  
''Oh, yeah. But we don't need this much.''  
''I guess I'm eating Italian this week.''  
''Hmm.'' I pulled out lots of tomatoes to make the sauce, a few whole bulbs of garlic, onions, dried red chillies (OMG, I loved spices) and a humongous block of cheese.  
''Get some herbs, too, will ya?'' he grinned.  
I opened his herb tray. How was it even possible to have every single herb? Zen was baffling sometimes. Anyway, I took some basil, because it was, is and always will be a classic Italian herb.  
Zen kneaded the dough and made pizza bases. They had to be made early so that they could aerate and fluff up. I got onto the sauce, which took a while, obviously. He watched me as I worked, leaning against the counter in the position of a casual slumber.  
''You know you're amazing, right?''  
''Am I?''  
''Yeah. You're the bestest friend I've ever had.''  
''Actually, you've already told me that.''  
''When? Because I don't remember.''  
''It was the night we all went out for drinks. You were really drunk.''  
''Wow. Well, I'll say it again.''  
''No need to praise me so much. Zayn does it all the time.''  
''Girl,'' he groaned, ''you are obsessed with the guy. His name is always on the tip of your tongue.''  
''Which is why I have to be careful,'' I added. ''Here, the sauce is done.''  
He started smattering the sauce onto the base.  
''You have olives?''  
''Yeah, in the tray table.''  
''I got them. Wow, jalapenos, too?''  
''Yeah. Let's go bonkers.''  
I shrugged, chopping them up quickly. We made four such pizzas together, and by the end of it, we were exhausted. I couldn't eat a whole pizza, and neither could Lexie. Zenith and Rob did, though.  
It felt good to spend the day with friends, but I yearned for Zayn constantly. Just more proof that no matter what, I loved him.


	44. 42. Back To Being Us

Zayn's POV

I was harrowed. Completely harrowed. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Nasty thoughts swirled in my head at all times. I couldn't sleep; I couldn't even talk about it. Not even to Anya. I didn't want to hurt her. I'd thought I was protecting her, that it was better for her not to know my demons. I soon discovered just how wrong I was.  
It was just us five on Saturday. Anya was spending the day with her friends, and I was left to accompany mine. I didn't really have much to say to her anyway. My mind was otherwise occupied, but I was at least going to try to connect to the guys. I hardly knew what was going on in their lives.  
''So, how're things?'' I asked.  
''Just peachy,'' Niall grumbled. ''I'm sure you can see that.''  
''Don't listen to him, he's in a bad mood,'' Liam told me. ''Are you okay, though?''  
''Me? No.''  
''Someone's serious about believing in 'honesty is the best policy','' Louis commented.  
''It's better than lying,'' Harry said dryly, ''which he's been doing a lot these days.''  
''Hey! I'm right here,'' I objected.  
''I'm not scared of you, Zayn,'' he said coolly. ''And someone has to say it, so why not me? Get your head out of your ass and go apologize to your girlfriend. You're not fooling anybody.''  
''I thought I was protecting her,'' I mumbled.  
''No, you're doing the opposite,'' Lou agreed. ''You need to make it up to her.''  
''How?''  
''Talk to her,'' Liam suggested. ''I'm sure all she wants is to know how you're feeling.''  
'''You've been an a-hole,'' Niall shot.  
''Sorry, guys. And also sorry for not paying attention to you.''  
''We can get our revenge later. Now will you call her or what?'' Harry flung me my phone.  
I dialled, and she answered almost immediately. ''Zayn?''  
''It's me. Listen, can you talk right now?''  
''Um, just gimme a minute, 'kay?''  
''Sure.'' I waited patiently until she resumed talking. The guys stared at me. ''Yes?''  
''I'm sorry,'' I apologised.  
''You don't have to be.''  
''But I am. And let me get all this out now. Because I won't be able to say it again.''  
''Okay, I'm listening.''  
''I've been unreachable. I was trying to cope. With a lot of things. I've always endured it all alone......not even the guys can help there. I just somehow didn't realise that I was alone no longer. I have you, and I am being a dick about it.'' I jumped tense. ''I want to explain myself.''  
''You just did,'' she said thickly. ''This is why I love you, Zayn. You didn't need to apologise. Remember, I told you before, I love you even with all your scars, though I wish you didn't have them. For your sake, not mine.''  
I felt immensely elated. ''Thank you for this. I love you so much.''  
''Me, too.''  
''Can we meet now?''  
''Now?''  
''I want to get it all out, tell you everything I've been through. I know that it's the not knowing that hurts you more,'' I explained.  
''I don't need to know every little detail of what goes on in your head, Zayn.''  
''But I need to tell you.''  
''Okay, fine, I'll leave now,'' she sighed. ''Anything for you, my love.''  
''I wouldn't ask if it wasn't absolutely necessary.''  
''I know. I'm coming.''  
''Bye.''  
''Bye.''  
I hung up only to be confronted by four cold stares. ''So I guess you're leaving,'' Niall said casually.  
''You should go.'' This was Liam.  
''I was hoping, we all were hoping to hang with you, though,'' Louis pouted.  
''We can always do it later, Lou,'' Harry said quietly, ''this is more important.''  
''I'm sorry, but I'll be back tonight. How about an all-nighter with drinks?'' I suggested. ''It's on me.''  
''Sure, great!'' they all cheered. ''You should go.''  
I laughed. ''Yes, I'm going.'' I fetched my jacket and stepped out. The guard that usually accompanied me drove me to Anya's flat. It was more risky today; it was still light outside. The advantage was that I had a key.  
Anya was not home when I reached the flat. I walked around, musing over the past few days. I had been so wrong, so lost. This place, this was where all the magic had happened. Where I'd been reborn into the person I was now.  
Anya appeared in the doorway, looking as breathtaking as always. Our eyes met, and she smiled the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. I walked towards her, enthralled by her beauty. She looked spectacular, even though she was just wearing skinny jeans and a white top. Her hair hung loosely around her face and cascaded down her shoulders.  
''Hi,'' she whispered, appraising me with her eyes.  
''Hi.'' I reached out for her hand. She held back as we gazed into each other's eyes, expressing all of the things we couldn't say. ''I missed you.''  
''I missed you.''  
Just hearing that simple statement, mingled with the yearning in her voice made a chill run through me. I crushed her to me, feeling her warmth run through me. She wrapped her arms around my, pressing her face into my shoulder, inhaling the scent.  
''You smell so good.''  
''I'm not wearing any cologne.''  
''That's why it's so good. Because I like how YOU smell.''  
''I stink when I sweat.''  
''Then it's a good thing you don't sweat much.'' She looked up at me. ''You look divine.''  
''I do, huh?'' I was pleased.  
''My boyfriend, the vain guy.''  
''That's the way you want me, right?'' I checked.  
''Yeah.'' She kissed my cheek. ''Let's talk.''  
''Let's.''

I laid everything open in the air without fear of anything. It was simply marvellous. The way it felt after, so free. I was on top of the world. I no longer felt sad; it was all gone now. Nothing else but happiness.  
She gently stroked my face. ''I'm glad to know everything.''  
''I feel better, too.''  
''Yeah, you're back,'' she nodded.  
''Thanks for waiting patiently while I sorted things out.''  
''Why wouldn't I?'' she smiled. Oh, how her smile illuminated my world. ''How is everyone else? Are they upset you suddenly left?''  
''Actually, I think they're glad, because I was being a real sop. They'll be fine. I promised them a night with drinks on me for today.''  
''Mmm. You should spend this time with them wisely. I realised how much stuff I missed with my friends today. I don't regret it, because even they agree that my time is spent better with you.''  
That piqued my curiosity. ''How's that?''  
''Even when I'm with them, I'm dreaming about you, 'cause.''  
''Same here. So how are they?''  
''They're doing pretty good, except Tanya. Rob's nearly back, his relationship seems to have suffered no long-term damage, and Zenith is insane as usual.''  
I laughed. ''He's the coolest of your friends.''  
''Wait till I tell him that.''  
I tousled Anya's hair with my hand. ''Remember that time when I said 'never change your shampoo and conditioner'?''  
''Yeah, how could I forget?''  
''It won't matter even if you do. Your hair is just beautiful.'' Silky strands wove around my fingers.  
''Thank you.''  
''Now you've learned to take compliments.''  
She blushed.  
''That's the Anya I've come to know and love,'' I whispered, kissing her forehead. We sat there, holding each other, until we could bear to let go. Even that was a humongous effort.  
''When do you have to leave?'' Anya asked after a long silence.  
I looked at the watch. ''In a bit if I want to make it to dinner.''  
''Then you should go.''  
''But I don't want to now,'' I pouted.  
''I'm right here! If you miss me, just call.''  
''Okay, fine, I guess,'' I grumbled, standing up. ''Bye.''  
''Bye.'' She kissed me gently, slowly, calmly. A kiss that was truly heartfelt and said she would always be here for me, would always be mine.


	45. 43. A Day With Friends (Part 2)

Zayn's POV

The guys were waiting on me for dinner. Even Niall. And what did we eat? Takeaway from Nando's. Mmmm.......heaven. Even I wouldn't have been able to resist that.  
It was a while before we were done. Niall, as usual, ate more than the rest of us. Louis burped, making us all laugh.  
''So, what should we do now?'' Liam asked.  
''Let's just talk,'' I suggested. ''I want to know how you guys are doing.''  
''Well, I've got nothing to add,'' Niall said fully. ''I'm single and also unexciting, apparently.''  
''Hey, don't say that,'' Harry muttered, ''believe in yourself.''  
''I do sometimes,'' Ni mumbled. ''I've been hanging a lot in Twitter, though. Makes me feel better.''  
''We are damn lucky no one yet has a doubt about you, Zayn,'' Louis expressed. ''This could be a lot to handle when it gets out.''  
''It will be,'' I sighed. ''I'm just going to hope my luck holds out. And anyway, I'm not worried for myself when it gets out, but I'm concerned for Anya. She might take it hard.''  
''You should give her more credit,'' Liam snorted.  
''Yeah. Sorry,'' I retaliated. ''But you know I'm not wrong if I want to protect her.''  
''No. Soph's strong, but the hate is really starting to get to her.''  
''She'll be fine,'' Niall said. ''It's you I'm worried about, Li.''  
''I'll make it,'' he reassured his best friend.  
I turned to Harry. ''How's Kendall?''  
''Just super,'' he grumbled. ''She keeps calling me in the middle of the night. Time difference. Couldn't she just let me sleep for once? And then there's the reimbursement of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'. I'm agonizing over the whole thing.''  
''I'm actually proud of you,'' I expressed. ''Usually when things get bad you cut things off. You're really serious about her.''  
''It's like I told you before, I'm going to try my best to make this work, even with the distance. And if it doesn't, then it just wasn't meant to be,'' he sighed. ''We'll see what happens. I'm still incredibly attracted to her, so I'm not interested in breaking things off.''  
''Good. And what about you, Elounor?'' I used their couple name.  
Lou grinned. ''Amazing, as usual. Mindblowing, in fact. El's coming back into town every weekend from next week. I'm officially excited!''  
''I can see that.'' He was literally jumping up and down in his seat.  
''Hey,'' he burst, ''how about you introduce Anya to El? They'll get along, I know it. El's just been dying to meet her.''  
''You told her about Anya?'' I was disconcerted.  
''A few days ago, I slipped up accidentally,'' he admitted. ''I know you trust my Eleanor.''  
''Yes, I trust your Eleanor. Though, how is she?''  
''Just peachy. The weather in Manchester sucks, so you know.'' He rolled his eyes.  
''Can't blame her.''  
''Should we watch a movie or something?'' Harry asked. ''It's been forever since we did.''  
''Yeah, seems like a lifetime ago,'' Liam murmured.  
''I think the last time we sat together to watch a movie was when 'This Is Us' released,'' Niall recalled.  
''Yeah, we'd huddled in Haz's and my flat,'' Lou remembered. ''Those were good days.''  
''Cool. I'll get the beers,'' I offered.  
''They're in the cooler in the basement,'' Harry said.  
''How do you know?'' Lou asked.  
''I've been drinking a bit,'' he admitted. ''Kendall.''  
''Okay, I'll just go and get the beer. You get to the movie theatre and pick a good one.'' I referred to the movie area we had in the house.  
I got to the basement to find Paul there. He was looking for something. ''Hey, Paul, whatcha lookin' for?''  
''Your old set designs. They're here somewhere.''  
''The ones we used in 'Up All Night'?''  
''Yeah, that tour.''  
''Why?''  
''Simon wants 'em.''  
''Hmm.'' I pulled out two six packs.  
''You guys plannin' on gettin' drunk?'' Paul eyed the beers.  
''We're just gonna watch a movie together. It's been a while.''  
''Yeah. I'm glad you're feeling better.'' He slapped my shoulder.  
''Me, too.'' I got back upstairs and to the movie theatre. ''So, which movie are we watching?''  
'''Catch Me If You Can', 'Inception' or 'Mission: Impossible'?'' Lou held up the DVDs.  
''Ghost Protocol,'' I answered. ''I missed on watching that one.''  
''Oh, man, you've been missing out on a great movie. It's just like, Tom Cruise's wife, she ge-''  
''Louis!'' Harry, Niall and Liam complained. ''You'll ruin it for him. Let him watch it.''  
''Okay,'' he said grudgingly, hunting for 'Mission: Impossible : Ghost Protocol'. We sat down to watch.

''That was good,'' I said once the titles appeared on the screen.  
''Feels good, doesn't it? Just hanging out,'' Louis said, slightly buzzed.  
''How many beers have you had?'' Harry slurred.  
''You've had more than he has!'' Liam said.  
''Mmm....'' Niall mumbled, half-gone.  
I threw Li an exasperated glance. Just like old times. We were going to have to get their drunken asses into bed now.  
''Let's go.''  
Louis was pretty buzzed, and wasn't walking straight. I led him up the stairs. He bumped into the railing and the wall three times each. I tried not to laugh. He crashed onto the bed face down, barely pulling up the covers before burying his face into the pillows. I simply shook my head.  
When I came down, Liam was trying to get Harry up the stairs, and failing. I pulled Haz by his arms, but his feet weren't cooperating.  
''Should we lift him?'' Liam asked.  
''I think that's best.''  
I took his legs and Li took his arms as we carried him up the stairs and to his room. We dropped him on the bed. He started snoring immediately.  
''These guys.....they're never gonna change,'' Liam chucked. Niall looked worse, sleeping in his chair!  
''Nope. We shouldn't even expect it.''  
''Yeah.''  
We both looked at Ni. ''Should we just put him on the couch?'' I suggested.  
''Yeah, I don't think we can carry him up, too.''  
We lifted him up and dumped him on the sofa. He mumbled something unintelligible.  
Li and I both smiled. ''So I guess we should crash, too,'' he said.  
''Yeah, it's late.''  
'Zayn, what do you think will happen when the world finds out about you and Anya?''  
''Bad stuff. She'll no longer be a normal person. Not that she's normal anyway, but you know what I mean.''  
''Mm. I just hope the papz and fans treat Anya better than they do Sophia.''  
''Dude, stop moping about that. They just want someone to bitch about, and they targeted Sophia. You have GOT to stop blaming yourself.''  
He nodded. ''I'm going to bed. G'night.'' It was not hard to hear the sadness of acceptance in his voice.  
''G'night.'' This made me wonder. Was it really worth it to put Anya through all this? Just for me?  
There I was. I was doing it again, wasn't I? Trying to protect Anya in a way that would just hurt her more. I had to stop that. Now.  
It worried me. What if she got so much hate that we wouldn't make it? What if they hurt her?


	46. 44. Too Much To Handle

Zayn's POV

The three were a mess the next morning. Lou looked simply tired, Harry was wearing sunglasses and Niall hadn't even gotten up from the sofa. I rolled my eyes, walking to the kitchen at 12 in the afternoon. Liam and Paul were talking.  
''Hey, what's this I'm hearing about?'' Liam demanded.  
''I told him you wanted the house to yourself,'' Paul explained, ''for your date with Anya.'' He turned to Liam. ''I think it's very fair, Liam. If I'm being honest, this is the only way any of you can be truly safe when on a date. As a bodyguard, as YOUR bodyguard, I know what I'm talking about. I've been guarding you for three and a half years.''  
''Okay, fine,'' he sighed. ''But then everyone should get a chance.''  
''Things will be fair,'' I reassured. ''I promise.''  
''Okay, then.''  
''Paul, what are we going to do about Niall?'' I asked. ''He won't get off the couch.''  
''Let him stay there, I'd say,'' he ventured. ''I don't want him throwing up all over me when I'm carrying him upstairs.''  
''Good point.''  
''We carried Haz up last night,'' Liam told him. ''He couldn't even keep his eyes open.''  
''They're never going to change,'' I stated the obvious.  
''Don't even dream it,'' Paul scoffed. ''So what are you going to do today? Niall and Harry will be throwing up all day.''  
''An off day! Can I go see Soph, then?''  
''Sure, go ahead. Just keep your phone close,'' Paul muttered.  
''Thanks.''  
''And I suppose you're leaving, too?'' He eyed me.  
''No, I'm going to prep for the big date with Anya,'' I answered. ''We'll meet tonight, as usual.''  
''Hmm. Best I let you get on it, then. What are you going to do about dinner, though?''  
''I'm still on it. I don't want it to be extremely classy, but I want it to be close, intimate, homely. So I was thinking that I would order from her favourite place.''  
''Good planning,'' he commented. '' You're going to send a guard, right?''  
''Yes, Paul, don't worry. I'm not going to earn Anya's wrath on such an important day.''  
He laughed. ''Good to know. Tell me if you need anything.''  
''Wait, Paul,'' I stopped him, ''actually, I wanted to ask you something.''  
''Okay, shoot.''  
''Somehow, someday, the press will find out about Anya, right?''  
He accepted the possibility. ''Someday.''  
''And they will hurt her.''  
He saw where I was coming from. ''Simon warned you when you started out. You knew what you were getting into. And don't be worried about Anya. We'll see what to do once the time comes. Also, she does have Eleanor to explain it all to her.''  
''Yeah. But this is heavily intimidating for me.''  
''I know. There isn't really much I can do right now. You know how it is, Zayn. She'll make it.''  
''That doesn't mean I believe I will,'' I muttered, looking outside the window.''  
''Relax.''  
I took a deep breath.  
''Maybe you should talk it out with her. Prepare both of you for when it does happen.''  
''Okay.''  
He slapped my shoulder and left, to go do his job. I sighed to myself; I couldn't protect Anya from everything and everyone, no matter how much I wanted to. According to Paul, I was just going to have to suck it up and live with it.

Anya's POV

I smiled dreamily, thinking about Zayn. He was happy again, truly happy. That was all I'd ever wanted. We were going to do that date tomorrow, which was a Wednesday. Today, I was going with Tanya to her OB, and I was just as nervous as she was. We were both silent on the way over there, when she suddenly asked, ''What if something IS wrong with me?''  
''Honey, relax,'' I soothed, stroking her shoulder. ''You're going to be just fine. It's better to be on the safer side, though, right?''  
She nodded, burying her face in her hands. ''I'm feeling so tensed and wound up.''  
''It'll go away soon enough,'' I reassured her. We got there just in time for her appointment, and we were soon face to face with Dr Rogers. She was a 40-something woman with blonde hair and a calm face. It would just make you relax!  
''Miss Tanya Doberman,'' she said, looking at her clipboard.  
''Yes, that's me,'' she whispered.  
''What seems to be the problem?''  
Tanya looked at me, and I answered for her. ''She had a pregnancy scare a week ago, but she's ten days late on her menstrual cycle. She's usually never late.''  
''I've never been late in my whole life,'' she added. ''Is something wrong with me?''  
''That's what we're here to find out. Now, I would recommend a standard blood test and a sonography. Would you be able to give them now? The results are pretty quick here.''  
''Okay.'' I took Tanya's bag as she sat in the chair. A nurse promptly arrived with a syringe. She looked away as the nurse drew blood and then pressed down with a cotton ball.  
''Are you scared of needles?'' Dr Rogers asked her.  
''Not really, but I can't watch them go in,'' she admitted.  
''Now, I want you to drink at least 500 ml of water as I prep for the sonography.'' I handed Tanya a bottle immediately. The doctor turned to me. ''You seem to be prepared.''  
''I've had experience with gynaecologists. I'm Anya.''  
''Well, it's always good to see someone who's well informed.''  
I smiled. ''You ready, Tanya?''  
She nodded. ''Let's do this.'' She lay down on the table, pulling her top up and her pants lower to expose her abdomen. I watched as the radiology expert squirted out the cold gel and started pressing the handle to her stomach.  
The doctor was shaking her head. ''Is something the matter?'' I questioned.  
''Yes.''  
I could see Tanya get nervous. ''Tanya, relax,'' I breathed. She slumped again. Once the whole ordeal was done, the doctor finally explained herself.  
''I'm sorry to say, Miss Doberman, but you have PCOS.''  
I gasped involuntarily.  
The doctor went on. ''It stands for 'Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome'. Both your ovaries are swollen and your eggs are cystic. It means that the eggs themselves contain small cysts between their nuclei.''  
''What does this mean to my health?'' She was calm.  
''Irregular menstrual cycles, for one. Every woman experiences it differently. I would recommend you did research on the subject. I actually know an expert on PCOS who I would be happy to refer you to.''  
''Yes, of course.''  
I was surprised at her calm demeanour. I watched dumbly as the doctor handed her a business card, and we stepped outside.  
''Are you okay?'' I asked her.  
''I'll be fine,'' she said, paying the bill at the reception. ''I'm going to make it.''  
''You might change your mind about that,'' I said quietly.  
''Maybe once I meet this expert.'' She waved the card. ''We'll see. Thanks for coming with me.''  
''Hey, you didn't even have to ask. If there's anything else I can do, do tell.''  
''I'll be fine. You should go, your boyfriend's probably waiting for you.''  
I blushed. ''Okay, then. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything or just want to talk.''  
''Yep. Bye.''  
''Bye.''  
I had a lot to think about on my way home, but I couldn't get my mind to unattach from Zayn. I had to talk to him about today; I felt horrible. He was the one person who I could talk to. The one person I could count on. Always.


	47. 45. The One I Love

Zayn's POV

Anya opened the door to me. She looked exhausted, her face subdued. She smiled, but it wasn't entirely genuine. It didn't take a second to know something was wrong.  
''Is everything okay? Anya?''  
She didn't say anything, but simply put her arms around me. She pressed her face into my shoulder, reaching for comfort. Horror washed through me.  
''What's wrong?'' I asked, stroking her hair.  
She still didn't say anything, but started shaking slightly. A shaking I knew too well. I felt my shirt get wet with tears, and this pained me. What had happened?  
She pulled away, turning to hide her face in embarrassment. I gently put my hands on her shoulder, kissing her head through her hair.  
''You don't have to be embarrassed about crying, Anya. Not with me.''  
''I'm sorry,'' she whispered for fear her voice would break.  
''You don't have to say sorry. Just tell me what's wrong,'' I begged.  
She wiped her cheeks before turning. I could not bear the thought of someone hurting her immaculate persona. ''It's a long story. Sit.''  
We both sat down. ''Tell me.''  
She rested her head on my shoulder, holding onto my arm. ''I went with Tanya to the doctor. The news isn't good.''  
I realised I'd forgotten about this.  
''She has PCOS. That's-''  
''I know what it is,'' I cut, ''my sister used to have it.''  
''Doniya?''  
''Yeah.''  
She swallowed. ''I'm sorry. Tanya is taking it quite well so far, but I'm not. I don't really know why I should feel so sad. I know I shouldn't be. But it's just-''  
''You feel that you're priviliged,'' I guessed. ''You can see it's affecting people around you, and you're feeling guilty at no fault of yours. You're healthy.''  
''That's exactly right. You know me so well,'' she sighed. ''What would I do without you, Zayn Javadd Malik?''  
''Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence.''  
She lifted her legs and turned to me, hanging them on the other side of the sofa across my lap. She locked her arms around my neck, pressing her forehead to the side of my face. ''I was doing nothing then. My life was just.....bland. Normal. Nothing extraordinary or amazing. Nothing that made me want to just.....sing.''  
''Sing?'' I murmured.  
''Yeah.'' She kissed my cheek.  
''Sing to me,'' I whispered.  
''You can see why I'm hesitant about that. You ARE a professional singer. Not just any professional, but one-fifth of world-famous One Direction. I sometimes can't believe it's you I'm holding,'' she confessed.  
''Pwease?'' I jutted out my lower lip, pouting.  
''Okay, fine. What song shall I sing? Hmm....let's see.'' She thought about it for a minute. ''I'll sing you your own song.''  
''Okay, then. This is rather exciting.''  
She closed her eyes, and sang. '''Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me, but bear this in mind, it was meant to be, and I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks, and it all makes sense to me.'''  
I was lost. Completely and utterly lost. Her voice was flowing velvet, mimicking the way I had sung the song. She'd sung exactly my lines. I couldn't speak.  
''I know that you don't have freckles, Zayn,'' she said, ''but that's the line.''  
I cupped her cheek. ''It was phenominal. You could be a singer, Anya. It was simply beautiful.''  
''Really?''  
''Really.''  
She placed a light kiss on my lips. ''I love you.''  
''As I love you.''  
''Forever?''  
''You're the one I love.''  
She smiled. ''So, how about some dinner? I got pizza from a place close to the clinic.''  
''Sure. Let's go.''

A few hours later, Anya and I lay in bed, listening to each other breathe. We'd had sex after a week; it had not been what I'd expected. It was not like the first time, when I'd been cautious and controlling myself. Neither had it been like the second time when I'd wrestled the control from Anya, nor like the third, when I'd nearly lost my mind. It had been completely different. It was no longer just a physical act. It would never be just a physical act.  
We had taken time in exploring each other; lots of time. We had establised a spiritual connection from a physical one. How could I ever live without her now? We had just worshipped each other!  
I kissed her forehead, letting the memories rush over. ''You are more beautiful, more gorgeous, more breathtaking and a lot more stunning than I knew before.''  
She smiled. ''The same goes for you, handsome.''  
''I've never felt so profoundly....connected,'' I confessed, ''to anyone.''  
''Me neither. I'm glad you took it slow.''  
''I wanted to explore you. Of course, I had no idea I would be so entirely pleased with what I found....'' I trailled off, chuckling along with her. ''I'm running out of adjectives here.''  
''Yeah, me too.''  
I stroked her face with one finger. ''Such beauty.....'' I was spellbound again.  
''You, too,'' she replied softly. ''Like I said, sometimes I think you aren't real. Like you're just a figment of my imagination.''  
''Me, too. I can't believe someone like you exists.''  
''Now we're getting repetitive,'' she pointed out.  
''I could go on about this all night,'' I said truthfully, ''even though it would be repetitive.''  
''Mmm.''  
''I won't, though, because I know you don't like it when I praise you too much.''  
''You do praise me too much. You're spoiling me.''  
''It's my job. Besides, I thought women want praise.''  
''We do, but not so much! I, at least, like the truth a whole lot better than some puffed up praise.''  
''The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.''  
''You're so poetic,'' she sighed.  
''I have to be, I'm a songwriter,'' I answered. ''It's practically my job.''  
''Yeah.''  
''If you want truth and not praise, it's going to get a lot worse,'' I warned her.  
''Oh, really?''  
''Oh, yeah.'' I nuzzled her cheek.  
''Good night, then.''  
I laughed. ''Anya, this somehow gives me the feeling that you have never been praised before.''  
''I haven't; not a lot, at least,'' she said uneasily. ''My parents never really appreciated my life or my decisions. When I got good grades, they thought it was my job to, not something to be appreciated for.''  
I tried not to get serious, and succeeded. ''Then I'm going to turn you into a spoilt brat.''  
''You try that,'' she challenged.  
''It's on,'' I accepted.


	48. 46. The Date

Anya's POV

I stared at the dress sprawled out on my bed in horror. It was so......beautiful. It didn't belong on my body. But Zayn had picked it out. I didn't want to wear it; I didn't want to hurt his feelings, either. Sighing to myself, I stripped down and wore the black studded dress anyway. I realised it fit me perfectly.  
I gazed at myself in the mirror. I had to admit, the dress was stellar. It was the best thing I'd ever worn (except for some sexy lingerie, of course). It had short sleeves, a closed neck and pleated like a skirt below my midriff. It rested lightly above my knees. I pulled a brush through my hair, combing it thoroughly. Now I looked ready.  
I was so nervous, though! I had to remind myself that it was just a date, even though it could never be just a date to me. I had to take deep breaths to calm myself down as a I walked downstairs to the now familiar black Mercedes.  
I slipped in unobtrusively, closing the door quickly. When I turned to Zayn, he was gawking at me, his mouth hanging open. I held his chin, leaning in and placing a sexy kiss on his open mouth. I pulled back into my seat before he could make this go any further.  
''Wow....'' he said. ''You look so amazing in that.''  
''You picked it out. And you're not looking so bad yourself.'' I appraised his slim-fit navy blue shirt and black jeans.  
''Stop looking at me like that.'' He focussed on the road ahead as I watched his profile. His piercing was a larger diamond today, sparkling on his left ear. His hair was impeccably gelled forward and then up, giving him that look that made me go crazy. His forehead was plain, no worry creasing it. His beautiful eyes fringed by those thick lashes looked straight ahead as I gazed at the perfect angle of his nose, and those oh, so kissable lips.  
''Anya,'' he snapped, ''stop looking at me like that. Otherwise, I'll pull over and take you in the back seat.''  
''That doesn't really sound like a very bad idea.''  
''I have made the best plans for tonight, and I don't want to ruin them.''  
''Okay,'' I allowed, ''I'll stop ogling you.''  
''Good. We're here anyway.'' He stopped the car in front of the entrance, getting out and opening the door for me. ''Let's go.'' We walked to the house, our hands linked together.  
The house looked lovely. There were red and blue lights in the corners, illuminating the humongous living area. All the sofas were gone; so was the plush red carpet and the teapoy. Instead, there was a table, with two chairs opposite to each other. Two glasses and plates were laid out, and a bottle of champagne was resting in ice. I smiled unknowingly as he pulled the chair out for me.  
''You like it?'' he asked nervously.  
''Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?''  
''Wait until I serve you.'' He disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with a huge platter in his hand. The moment I saw it, I knew what it was.  
''You went to Lily's Diner?''  
''Yeah. I know that place is important to you, and I wanted it to be a night full of emotion.''  
''It was, even without this,'' I said, ''but thank you.''  
''Anything for you, my love. This was nothing.''  
''Did you go, or did you send someone else?'' I demanded, silently praying it was the latter.  
''I sent Preston, don't worry. He's the head of security after Paul, that is,'' he reassured me. ''Actually, I was going to go, but I didn't want to upset you on such an important occasion. So I sent him.''  
I sighed in relief. ''Thank God.''  
''Let's eat?''  
''Yeah.''  
He served us and poured the champagne. ''So, how's Tanya?''  
''She's taking it much better than I'd expected, to be honest. I didn't really think she would be so......okay with it. She's got an appointment with the expert on Friday. Said she would go alone.''  
''That's great. She needs to do these things alone. That's the best way to get some courage.''  
''You know all about courage, don't you?'' I teased. ''Going out there every day, in front of thousands of screaming fans, and singing until you drop?''  
''It takes a helluva lot of courage,'' he agreed. ''And it's not a joke.''  
''Of course it isn't. I know you still get butterflies before going onstage.''  
''Yep. We all do.''  
''I would like to see that, you know, you guys freaking out before a show. That would be very entertaining.''  
''Would it? You should have seen us when we first performed at the O2. You would've probably slapped us all.''  
''Really? That bad?''  
''You have NO idea!''  
I laughed, tilting my head backwards. ''I love you guys so damn much for that! You're like nobody else. It's just like it was in 'This Is Us', you know? You really threw down all your defenses and gave your fans the world, everything they wanted. I should say, everything 'we' wanted.''  
''Exactly how big a fan are you?'' he asked curiously, a taunting edge in his voice.  
''Truthfully, a tad bit too much out there with it,'' I admitted.  
''You didn't appear it when you first saw me,'' he scoffed.  
''I was more focussed on trying to get you the hell inside! What would've happened if I wouldn't have pulled you inside? Imagine that,'' I said confidently.  
He backed up. ''Okay, okay, I give in.''  
''You'd better.'' I narrowed my eyes. By now, we'd finished eating. ''This is great.''  
''Yeah.'' He held my hand gently. ''I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.''  
''Zayn, it doesn't matter where we are, or what we're doing, I love spending time with you.''  
He smiled. ''Me, too. Come on.'' He stood up and put his hand forward for me to take.  
''Where are we going?'' I stood, walking with him outside. ''Oh my God.''  
The whole garden outside looked so....wow. There were drapes across the tops of the trees, lighting that seemed to belong right here as the colour of moonlight and a perfect, calm serenity beckoning us.  
''What do you think?'' he whispered.  
I turned to him, cupping his face. ''You, Zayn Malik, are an artist.'' I brought my face to his, kissing him long enough for us to feel oxygen-deprived.  
''That was a great way to express your feelings,'' he gasped.  
I smiled lightheadedly. ''I think so, too.''  
''Come on.'' He tugged at my hand. We walked to the swing, which was covered with twists of lavender and blossoms. ''Sit.''  
We both sat down. ''This is truly amazing, Zayn. How long did it take to plan and do all this?'' I asked incredulously.  
''A week,'' he admitted. ''But I wanted it to be etched into our memories forever.''  
''I will never forget this,'' I reassured, ''ever.''  
He smiled hugely, entirely pleased. I snuggled into him, gazing at the sky. The moon was a perfect cresent wedge today; the sky peppered with stars. We sat together in the night's velvet blue, with nothing but our love, and the silence. To quote One Direction's own song : our hearts sat tight like bookends; the pages between us were written with no ink.


	49. 47. Exhaustion Generated

Anya's POV

The first thing I registered was the warm, familiar body along the line of mine. He smelled exquisite; that manly scent I could not find a name for. It was incomparable. I stretched around him gently for I did not want to wake him. I realised we were not in my bed.  
My eyes fluttered open, focussing on the ceiling. I could see the chandelier in the centre of the room. This was looking way too crazy. If I was right, this looked like the rooms in the One Direction mansion.  
I sucked in a deep breath, shocked. Could this be correct? Was I in Zayn's room? Naked?  
The next thing I registered wiped everything else from my mind. Zayn's face was just centimetres away, his chin jutting out towards me. His hair looked messy, but it looked glorious. He was fast asleep, gone in the myriad of dreams. He looked absolutely angelic, his face bearing complete innocence. I had not seen such a humbling sight in my life. So handsome.....it was hard to believe he was real.  
There was a loud scraping, coming from somewhere. It was coming from the other side of that door, I realised. I covered my ears, cowering. Zayn stirred.  
''Zayn?'' I whispered.  
His eyes opened, and he smiled sleepily. ''Good morning, love.'' He slid towards me on the satin sheets, placing a kiss on my cheek. ''And how is the world's most angelic girl today?''  
''There's something going on, outside.'' I pointed to the door. The scraping sounded again.  
''Louis!'' he boomed through the door. ''I know you're there!''  
I could hear loud laughs erupting.  
''Do you want me to come out there?'' Zayn threatened. ''Don't make me spill all your bedroom secrets with El to the whole world!''  
''I'm leaving!'' Louis said, sounding offended. ''Jesus.'' We heard his departure.  
I looked up at Zayn. ''What happened last night?''  
He stroked my face. ''What's the last thing you remember?''  
''Sitting in the garden.''  
''Let me refresh your memory.''  
He started talking. And then it all came back to me.

''Now do you remember?'' he asked.  
I gave a small nod.  
''You're blushing so much. Just look.'' He stood up, and I froze. His body was glowing mutely in the diffuse light coming from the curtained windows. I was stunned into silence.  
''Anya?'' He broke my stare, and I whipped up to where he was. He gently led me to the huge mirror in the side of the room, standing behind me. ''Just look.''  
I obeyed, looking at my bare body in the mirror. I had to admit, it looked like my whole body was blushing. Maybe it was. Zayn pushed my hair over my left shoulder, exposing my right. He kissed me there slowly, deeply inhaling the scent of my skin. Suddenly, my whole attention was on him again.  
''Why are you looking at me like that?'' he asked, lifting his head to catch me gazing at his reflection.  
''Do I have to explain that?'' I pulled myself behind him. He was now looking at himself in the mirror. ''How could I not stare at that?''  
He pursed his lips. I could see humour flickering across his face. ''Well, I do get your point....''  
I laughed, turning away to look for my dress. There it was, all spread out on the floor, accompanied by my bra and underwear. I started wearing them.  
''You're dressing so soon?'' he pouted.  
''Yeah. I need to go back to my flat. If I stay here any longer, we're going to get teased. A lot.''  
''Somehow, I think we shouldn't let that stop us,'' he grinned.  
''I really should get out of here before they gang up on us.''  
''I don't want to have to face them all alone!''  
''Okay, then how about I go home and then come back today evening? I do have to go to uni, Zayn!''  
''Okay, fine,'' he said grudgingly. ''As you wish.''  
''Oh, come on, don't be so down,'' I pleaded. ''You make it hard to leave.''  
''Okay.''  
I didn't want to go, either, but what option did I have? If I kept up with the bunking, I would most likely fail the year, or next year.  
''I love you,'' he mumbled, looking down and scratching the back of his neck.  
''I love you, too.'' I sat down next to him, turning his face towards mine. ''And don't you ever forget that.''

Zayn's POV

The guys were laughing loudly as Anya did her best to remain unfazed as she ran out. I was about to yell at them when they stopped.  
''So, I guess last night's date went a lot better than you had expected,'' Harry guffawed. Louis whistled.  
''Shut up,'' I grumbled, walking to the kitchen. ''Why are you here, anyways?''  
''The deal didn't specify that we had to sit out the morning, too,'' Liam said, ''so we came back.''  
''Next time, I'll put that clause in,'' I noted, pulling out some cold pasta from the fridge. It would have to do. ''I don't really think it would make much of a difference, though.''  
''No, it wouldn't!'' Niall exclaimed, eating some of the pasta. When I gave him a disapproving look, he stated the obvious. ''I'm always hungry and willing to eat.''  
''I think the whole world knows that,'' Lou said.  
''Though, really on a serious note, how did it go?'' Harry asked curiously.  
''It went perfectly,'' I sighed.  
''I can't say I'm not happy for you, but I can't say I won't tease you, either.'' This was, quite sassily, our you-know-who leader.  
''Yeah, but we gotta go work now.'' Niall pointed outside. Paul was waiting.  
''Let's just get this done with,'' Harry muttered under his breath.  
''Don't make snotty remarks under your breath, Styles!'' Paul boomed through the glass wall. Everyone but Hazza laughed.  
''Okay, then let's just go.''

It took time. We spent the whole day in an area of the house called the 'cave', literally. It was nothing like a cave, actually, except for the odd round shape of it. This was where we came to write when inspiration was hard to come by. It was the only place we could be cooped up together without getting up to mischief.  
It was just us and Niall's guitar. Lou even took to the piano, which was a rare occurence these days. Maybe the whole going back home thing had made it happen.  
We wrote a whole lot. Two whole songs in one day. That was huge. The lyrics, the composition, the who would sing which line. Done. Dusted. Phew.  
Needless to say, we were completely mentally exhausted by the end of it. We stumbled out of the cave, trying to get some air.  
''That was.....'' Lou trailled off.  
''Damned hard work,'' Harry finished.  
''Damn straight,'' Niall agreed.  
Liam and I could only nod.  
We went straight to the light and roomy TV room on the ground floor. Harry and I slumped down on the largest sofa, leaning up against each other. Niall was on the chair, his legs and head dangling from either side. Lou sat next to Li, as they played PS3 or something. I was too buzzed out to look.  
''Hey, when's Anya coming over?'' Lou asked.  
''I dunno,'' I grunted, looking at my wristwatch. ''She'll be here any moment now. Promise not to tease us, guys.''  
''I promise,'' Harry slurred, half-asleep.  
''I promise,'' Niall mumbled.  
''I have to promise,'' Lou said, ''because you know some secrets of mine that I'd rather not share with the world.''  
''I would never,'' Liam said solemnly.  
''Thanks.''


	50. 48. These Are My People Now, Too

Anya's POV

I reached the One Direction house at seven, with dinner in tow. I thought that food would soften them up. Everyone else had probably gotten on Zayn's nerves. Paul was standing at the doorway, talking on the phone with someone. He put his hand over the mouthpiece and said, ''They're in the back.''  
I nodded and smiled, stepping inside. The living room was back to normal, but I could still visualise the way it had looked last night. I blushed to myself just thinking about it, walking through the kitchen and to the back. I'd only been in this part of the house once, when Zayn had given me a tour of the place. I swung the door open to a lounging area. It was huge.  
''Hey, baby,'' Zayn crooned in a lilted voice, halfway lying down on the sofa, leaned up against the curly-haired lad. It was then I noticed that they all looked dog tired.  
''What happened here?'' I asked, stepping ahead cautiously, with my large bag in tow.  
''We were working the whole day,'' Harry mumbled, his eyes closed. ''Didn't quite make it to the end there.''  
I smiled. ''Maybe you shouldn't be working this hard.''  
''Tell that to Paul Higgins,'' Niall said.  
''Okay, I will.''  
''And also to the great father, Simon Cowell,'' Louis requested sweetly, smiling at me. ''Hey, how are you?''  
''I'm great, thanks for asking.'' I laughed when he jumped up and snatched the bag from my hand.  
''Look at us, just lounging as a girl hauls weight. What has happened to us?'' he joked.  
''That's quite all right, Lou,'' I brushed him off. ''Oh, and by the way, I got dinner.''  
This made Niall get up. ''Great. I'm hungry.''  
Everyone laughed, getting up one by one. Zayn was the fourth, coming up to me and putting an arm around my waist. He kissed my head, murmuring an 'I love you'. Harry watched us affectionately.  
''You guys.....you look really great together,'' he said.  
I blushed while Zayn said, ''Thanks.'' We went to the kitchen, where Lou had already opened the spread. Niall was eating some chicken wings.  
''Hey, those are for me,'' Zayn said, towing me along with him, his arm still around me protectively. His warmth was so good. We sat down together, still touching. Everyone tucked in to what was a wholesome meal with the most amazing, phenominal, fabulous, brilliant, extraordinary people I'd ever met, one of which was the love of my life. I realised that these were now MY people, too.  
Once we were done, Niall burped loudly, making us all laugh. ''I can't believe how much you guys eat!'' I exclaimed. ''I did not think you would actually finish the pounds and pounds of food I got!''  
''I warned you,'' Zayn said. ''I warned you.''  
''I should've listened,'' I replied, gazing into his almond-shaped, perfect hazel eyes.  
Louis cleared his throat. ''Get a room.''  
''I might do just that,'' Zayn challenged, getting up.  
''Ew,'' Harry muttered.  
''Don't give him grief, smut king,'' Liam smirked. ''You know it's true.''  
''Yeah. He even got laid in the bathroom during this year's Brit Awards,'' Niall pointed out. ''Don't lie, Harry.''  
''I didn't,'' he insisted. ''You really think I would cheat on Kendall like that?''  
''Then what were you doing?'' Liam challenged.  
''I was going to cheat on her, but I didn't, okay?'' he said. ''I stayed faithful. And for what? I'm beginning to think she's not worth it.''  
''Don't think that, Haz, come on,'' Zayn pleaded.  
He hung his head.  
I had to say something; it felt like a moral obligation. ''Harry, listen to me,'' I coaxed, holding his hand. ''It's okay. It's your decision. You're the only one who can decide if she is worth it or not. Now, I'm not saying that you've exactly been very honourable as a guy, but that doesn't mean you don't have that right. Harry, you have a choice to make. Choose. Stop with all the pain. Stop hurting yourself. If you're together - the two of you - then you're together. If you're not, then you're not. You need to make this a happy place with or without Kendall Jenner in your life.''  
It was only when I'd finished speaking did I realise the reactions people were having. Liam, Louis and Niall were looking at me, mouths agape. I couldn't see Zayn's face as he was behind me, but I heard his audible gasp, and his grip around me tighgtened possessively. It seemed to proclaim me. I was his. They really were my people, weren't they?  
Harry, though, was the most important one here. He looked up at me to meet my eyes, and I was oddly surpirsed to see them tearless, but full of emotion. ''Thank you.''  
''Anything,'' I said fervently.  
He looked at both Zayn and I. ''You should go. Spend time together, alone. We're kinda big downers on that sorta thing.''  
''We do that every single day,'' Zayn stated. ''Today, you need help. We're right here.''  
''Thanks, guys.''  
My phone rang loudly. I hurriedly answered the call. ''Zenith?''  
''Hey, listen, can we meet? I need to talk.'' He sounded urgent.  
''Anything wrong?''  
''I need to talk to you. No one's dying, no one's going insane for real, okay? There's no world crisis. But I need to see you ASAP.''  
''Okay.'' I processed. ''Should I come over to your place?''  
''At this hour?'' He sounded incredulous. ''I can't allow that.''  
''I'm with Zayn and the guys right now, so I'm sure someone can drop me. Zen, I'll be there. Don't drive when you're distressed, okay? I'll see you.''  
''Okay. Bye.'' He hung up.  
''Lemme guess,'' Zayn ventured, ''Zenith needs to talk.''  
''Yep. Can you read my mind or something?''  
''Maybe. It isn't entirely impossible, is it?''  
''No,'' I smiled. I turned to everyone. ''I'm sorry, but I have to go now. Friend emergencies.''  
''Of course, we totally understand,'' nodded Liam.  
''We'll see you soon, then?'' Niall asked hopefully.  
''Yes, definitely,'' I agreed.  
''When will that be?'' This was Lou.  
''This weekend, maybe? I'll let you know, I gotta go. Bye! Feel better, Harry.''  
''Thanks.''  
Zayn and I walked out. He signalled a guard to get the car. ''Call me?''  
''Yes.''  
''I would feel better if you stayed the night at Zenith's place. Don't go home so late alone, okay?''  
''I wouldn't dream of it.'' I leaned up to kiss him. ''Take care.''  
''You, too.'' The car pulled up. ''Bye.''  
''Bye.'' I got in and the car lurched forward immediately. I gave the driver the address, and fought not to bite my nails the whole fifteen-minute ride. We pulled up in front of Zen's loft, and I took a deep breath. Time to find out why my friend was so freaked out.


	51. 49. We Are Unstoppable Together

Anya's POV

Zen opened the door in a flurry. I got in, shutting it behind me. He looked half-mad.  
''What's up?''  
''It's not good,'' he muttered. ''Not good at all.''  
''Would you just tell me and put me out of my misery?'' I demanded.  
''I overheard some girls at uni talking about how Sean was going to 'unearth your truths'.''  
''What?!''  
''Yeah. And that means-''  
''He knows about Zayn and I,'' I finished.  
''Most probably,'' he said grimly. ''What are you going to do?''  
''Okay, let's just think about this. How could he have found out? That's the first step.''  
''Hmmmm.''  
''I got it.'' A light bulb flickered on above my head. ''He saw Zayn, probably. He comes over often, and I don't think it's beneath Sean to stalk me.''  
''It isn't,'' he agreed. ''That's entirely possible.''  
''Okay, then. I don't really know when this could've happened. At night, it's usually too dark. But, he has met him.'' Memories flooded my mind. ''That was weeks ago, though.''  
''He needed proof,'' Zen realised. ''He needed to make sure before he exposed you.''  
''He's just so perverted! Why did I ever date him?''  
''He's a good actor. Don't blame yourself. Don't even think about it anymore. You need to concentrate on other things. More important things,'' he emphasised. ''You need to tell Zayn.''  
I threw my head in my hands. ''Oh my God.''  
''Yeah. Do it now. It'll be better if you're both going crazy together.''  
''Will you call him?''  
''I have a better idea. Come on.''  
I followed him downstairs. ''What are we doing?''  
''I'm driving you to the One Direction house right now. You're talking to him, face to face. If you won't, I will.'' His eyes blazed.  
''Why are you pushing this?''  
''Because this is what he wants, Anya! He wants you to separate over this! So that he can show everybody how 'unstable' you are. He's just trying to prove that the only reason you left him is because you're pathologically crazy!''  
''Where are you getting all this from?''  
''I don't know! Get in the goddamned car.''  
I did as he said, shooting directions at him. We arrived ten minutes later. Paul stood at the doorway, puzzled. ''Anya, what are you doing here?''  
''I need to talk to Zayn. It's an emergency,'' I bit out.  
''Of course.'' He swung open the door for me, and I was running inside, running up the stairs, running to his room. Had it only been this morning when I'd woken up here, blissful?  
''Zayn,'' I choked out, opening the door and seeing him nowhere. ''Where are you?''  
He appeared almost immediately, from behind me. ''Anya?''  
I turned quickly, adrenaline fuelling me. ''Zayn, we need to talk.''  
''What's wrong?'' He instinctively held me close.  
''Everything is wrong,'' I sobbed, not being able to hold it in anymore.  
''Tell me.'' He coaxed my face up.  
''Sean.....''  
Just one word had him fuming. ''What did he do?''  
''It's not what he's done, but what he's going to do. He's going to expose us.'' I proceeded to tell him. Once I'd finished the story, I began to cry again. It was all my fault. I was the reason.  
''Honey, please don't cry,'' he pleaded, holding me in his lap. ''Please. We'll get through this together. Trust me.''  
''Of course I trust you. How could I not?'' I stated, half-blubbering. ''It's just- it's all my fault. Now I've put you in danger. You would be safe had you never met me.''  
He was suddenly fierce, holding my chin up and making me face his burning gaze. ''I would be nowhere without you. You saved me. From so many perils. Do you not know?''  
I nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.  
''We WILL get through this.'' He kissed me, with a passion so large that he pushed us both down on the bed. He pulled away and looked at me. ''So what should we do now?''  
''What do you think?'' I asked as he laid down next to me.  
''I think we should declare ourselves before he exposes us. That's always safer.''  
''But that means he's won!'' I was horrified.  
He reconsidered. ''I do see your point.''  
''Zen thinks that all Sean wants is to break us up and prove me as a failure in relationships.''  
''He's trying to make us turn against each other.''  
''Exactly.''  
''That's not going to happen,'' he declared, holding my gaze with his own. ''We're stronger than he knows; he underestimates our power. Let him do as he wishes; when the right time comes, we will announce our relation officially.''  
''That sounds perfect,'' I whispered. ''But, what are our families going to think?''  
''That's going to be quite dreadful, I assure you. But I'll never leave your side.''  
''My parents.....'' I was horrified. Anything could happen. They would never accept something like this!  
''I know.''  
Sudden determination filled me. ''I don't care what they, or the world, thinks. I, Anya Singh, love you, Zayn Malik. And nothing will ever change that.''  
He beamed at me. ''I love you. No matter what happens, I love you. Whatever happens, we'll face it, together. We are unstoppable together.''  
''We are.''  
At that moment, our world exploded into happiness. No matter what, we would always love each other.  
He kissed me, long, languid and slow. It made my bones go spongy. THIS what what I lived and yearned for. This feeling. I kissed back, our lips fusing electrically. We were already horizontal; it took a lot of effort to finally pull away.  
We were both gasping into each other's faces; this had possibly been the longest kiss ever. I could feel myself getting covered in blushes.  
''This is what I live for. The way you look when you blush. Shot through the heart.''  
I blushed even more, averting his eyes. I realised I hadn't showered today. ''Um, Zayn?''  
''Yes?''  
''Is there any chance you're going to let me go back home today?''  
''Not today, not tomorrow, not the entire weekend,'' he chuckled, slinging an arm across my waist. ''I know you have a holiday at uni tomorrow.''  
''How?''  
''Preston said it was a bank holiday through the entire country. He's updated on that kinda stuff,'' he informed me.  
''Oh, really?''  
''And why do you want to go home, anyways? Everyone is locked away in their rooms, most probably asleep. We have time to ourselves.'' He trailled a burning pattern across my cheek.  
I shivered slightly. ''I feel kinda....grimy. I haven't showered today. And I don't even have any clothes to change into.''  
He gave me a wicked smile. ''You don't need clothes, honey. Not when it's just you and me.''  
''Zayn!'' I complained.  
He laughed. ''You can wear my clothes, Anya.''  
''Seriously?''  
''Yeah, sure. Why not? I mean, they'll be a bit big on you, but not too baggy, considering my size.''  
''Thanks.''  
''Anything for you. You can take a shower right there.'' He pointed to the bathroom. ''Go ahead. Relax a bit. Actually, take a bath. You NEED to relax.''  
''I do,'' I agreed, getting up. ''I love you even more now.''  
''I'm glad to hear it. Now go, get all blissed out.''


	52. 50. This Is The Life

Zayn's POV

I opened my cupboard and searched for some of my older clothes, ones from when I was thinner. It was hard to find them because I probably didn't have most of them anymore. Not here, at least. Maybe they were at home. It was not easy to keep old clothes that didn't fit me anymore even before touring, so now it was practically impossible.  
I finally dug up some clothes that I'd probably worn a year ago; sweatpants and a black tee. I remembered them as a loose fit, but I'd probably discarded them as I'd gotten thicker. I pulled them out; they smelled clean. At least I'd washed them before stowing them away.  
Now I had a dilemma. Was I supposed to just wait out here and then give her the clothes? No! Time to be a little naughty.  
I walked to the door, opening it slightly. Steam escaped away and billowed onto my face. I could smell my shower gel and shampoo. I walked in stealthily, closing the door again before she could notice. She was just on the other side of that flimsy shower curtain; damn, I wanted to be in there with her. I slipped off my shoes, not thinking about it twice, and quickly got rid of my clothes. Once that was done, I gently parted the shower curtain from one side and peeped inside.  
Anya had her back to me, her wet hair slicked across her back. I stepped in behind her, slowly making my way to her in the tub so as not to startle her. I put my arms on her waist, kissing her shoulder. She leaned into my touch.  
''What are you doing in here?'' she giggled.  
''Taking a shower with you,'' I said playfully.  
''Then why is there something poking into my leg?'' she asked sarcastically, turning to face me.  
I looked down. Whoops. ''Well, what can I say,'' I said casually, ''the thing just popped up. You're very sexy, you know. Or maybe, you don't.''  
She laughed. ''Very funny.''  
I kissed her, pushing her along the wall. The hot water beat down on our skin.  
''We shouldn't do this here.....'' she breathed once I'd moved my lips from hers and to her cheek.  
''Good point,'' I frowned against her skin. I turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing a towel.  
''He's still unsatisfied,'' she pointed out, looking at my fully erect member.  
''And what should we do about that?'' I played along.  
She eyed the box of condoms sitting right there on the counter. I took the message, ripping it open and grabbing one. She pulled me down to the floor with her, and let me lead.

An hour later (yes, I know what you're thinking), Anya and I were wrapped under the covers of my warm bed on a cool night. The moment was perfect.  
''Are you comfortable?'' I asked her. She was in my old clothes.  
''More than comfortable,'' she whispered, inhaling the scent of the shirt she now wore. ''It smells like you.''  
''Does it?''  
''Mm.'' Now she buried her face in my shoulder. ''But the real thing is so much better.''  
''I think so, too,'' I agreed, deeply inhaling her hair's scent. It was now a mixture of her shampoo and mine. Heavenly. I felt her stiffen all of a sudden. ''What's wrong?''  
''I'm just worried about what's going to happen on Monday,'' she sighed.  
''Let's not think about that now,'' I pleaded, coaxing her face up. ''Let's just enjoy our weekend, and whatever happens, happens. We can't let it stop us from living our lives or being who we are.''  
''You're right.''  
''Baby, I'm always right,'' I grinned.  
''Cocky,'' she commented. ''I'm tired. Let's sleep?''  
''Yeah.''  
''Good night, Zayn.''  
''Good night.''

Anya's POV

I woke up in Zayn's arms, comfortable as ever. He was fast asleep, his lower lip jutting out from his face. It made him look adorable! I watched him, mesmerised. I would never get enough of this. Waking up next to him, watching him sleep, peaceful was my favourite thing to do in the world at the moment.  
I would have liked to stare at his face forever, but other bodily needs made themselves known. My stomach rumbled, and I had to say goodbye to the warmth of the bed. I padded to the door, opening at just a peek. No one was in the hallway.  
I slipped out quickly, not wanting to be spotted. I didn't really think I would remain hidden for the next three days, anyway (since Zayn would not let me leave), and we would now become the target of the teasing haraunging.  
I walked down the stairs and made my way to the kitchen. There had to be something in the fridge, considering the amount these guys ate. And their timings, oh Lord. They could eat anything, anytime. For example, Louis had once eaten cereal and milk for dinner. It was true. There were photos.  
I smiled to myself, opening the fridge and hunting for something I would actually eat. There was a lot of wild or unhealthy stuff in there. Finally, I picked out some veggies and sauce and got some bread. I quickly fixed myself a sandwich and sat down to eat it. At that moment, a tough-looking bodyguard walking in.  
He introduced himself. ''Hello, I'm Preston,'' he said jovially, ''and you must be Anya. Nice to meet you.''  
''Hello to you, too. The pleasure's all mine.''  
''You can go ahead and eat.'' He pointed to my plate. ''I don't mind. The guys make messes of themselves all the time.''  
I laughed. ''They are pretty crazy.''  
''Yeah. They are.''  
''How long have you been working with them?''  
''About three years. They needed a proper guard in place as soon as 'What Makes You Beautiful' was released.''  
''I can imagine that,'' I nodded. ''The girls did get pretty crazy right about then.''  
''That's true, and they haven't stopped since.''  
''Do you think they're wrong? For loving five boys so much?''  
''Not at all. We all need something to believe in, right?'' He looked at me. ''Seems like these days Zayn's believing in you, mostly.''  
''Really?''  
''I'm glad to meet you, Anya. I know at least some things about Zayn, which is somewhat rare considering how secretive he is. He was having an extremely hard time, what with his family and all-'' He cut off abruptly. ''I guess, what I'm trying to say is - thank you.''  
''I'm honoured. But he saved me, too. Plus, I can see how close this unit is. You're all family to each other. That is why so many girls love and idolise these five boys. That is how it is. People don't just want good looking guys that can sing, they want people who are good at heart, and are simply relatable. One Direction are all of those things,'' I explained.  
''You're right. Just how big of a fan of then are you, though?'' He peered at me.  
''I'm a bit out there, I'll admit. It's the only thing I'm outgoing about, really.''  
''Yes, Zayn mentioned your similarities. Look, I'm completely grateful to you, no matter what you say.''  
''I'm grateful to YOU. You're the reason they're alive, probably. Those girls would've killed them already.''  
''That's true! We have scars from girls' fingernails and stuff like that sometimes.''  
I grimaced.  
''It's just how it goes,'' he shrugged. ''I don't really mind that part. What I do mind, is the boys' childishness.''  
I giggled. ''Yeah, they're all a bit whack, I have to admit.''  
''A bit?''  
''I get your point.''  
''I have to go now, Anya, duty calls. I hope to see you around here more often.''  
''You do?'' I asked, confused. ''I thought that would just make your job harder.''  
''It doesn't make much difference. They hardly get to see their families. We do what we can.''  
I nodded as he departed. Maybe something could be done about their rather forceful separation from their loved ones.


	53. 51. One Direction And Anya

Zayn's POV

When I woke up Anya was nowhere to be seen. Grunting, I got out of bed (which takes an immense amount of effort for me) and walked to the bathroom. I looked as I usually did in the mornings. Stretching, I proceeded to brush my teeth while trying to wake myself up properly. Once I was done, I washed my face and ran a hand through my hair. Now I looked somewhat less shitty.  
I went downstairs, looking for Anya. She was standing at the glass wall at the back of the living area, sipping at a cup of tea. I stepped behind her and gently put my hands on her shoulder, kissing her head through her hair.  
''Good morning, sweetheart,'' she said, not turning.  
''Good morning to you, too. Whatcha lookin' at?''  
''Just the beauty of this place,'' she sighed. ''You want anything to eat?''  
''Anya, I'm not keeping you here as a cook. I'll manage.''  
''I'm offering,'' she said curtly, ''to teach all of you how to cook. Your diets are horrible.''  
''Okay, but I'm going to have to warn you, we are very bad learners.''  
''We'll see. Breakfast?''  
''Sure.''  
We went to the kitchen together, hands twined together. ''I woke up kinda early today and I was hungry, but there wasn't much to eat for breakfast. So I made a sandwich. I think that'll suffice today, don't you think?''  
''Hmm.'' I sat down on one of the counter stools, watching Anya grab a few simple ingredients essential for a good sandwich. I was so immersed in watching her face that I didn't notice when she was done.  
''Zayn!'' she chirped, bringing me back to earth. ''Eat.''  
I complied, taking a big bite. ''Mmmm.''  
''You like it?''  
''Oh yeah. Want some?''  
''No, I already ate,'' she grinned. She watched me as I devoured the sandwiches. ''You're a fast eater.''  
''I was hungry, and that was delicious.''  
''You got a little something right there,'' she pointed.  
''Why don't you take care of it for me?'' I pushed my face forward.  
She leaned in, licking outside my lips. ''There, done.''  
''But I'm not done.'' I brought her face to mine, hungrily crashing my lips onto hers. She moaned against my lips before assaulting me with her own attack. I was about to pick her up and go to the bedroom when I heard someone clearing their throat behind us loudly. Embarrassed, Anya extricated herself from my grip and averted her eyes quickly. I turned to see Liam.  
''Uh, I can leave,'' he said.  
''No, no it's okay. What's up?'' I asked.  
''Nothing,'' he mumbled. ''Harry's taking it hard. Kendall called him at 5 in the morning and he's been awake since then. I think he fell asleep again a few minutes ago.''  
''Do Lou and Ni know about this?'' I hissed.  
''No. And I'm not telling.'' He turned to Anya. ''They'll freak out.''  
She nodded. ''Got it.''  
''It's not good,'' I said under my breath. ''What are we supposed to do?''  
''I don't know,'' Li frowned. ''I haven't come up with anything.''  
''I don't understand why he's putting up with this, anyway,'' I muttered. ''He should've dumped her by now.''  
''That's the tendency.''  
''Wait a minute,'' Anya interrupted, ''how long has this been going on?''  
''About a week?'' Liam said uncertainly.  
''And he never endures this kind of crap from anyone else?''  
''Nope,'' I confirmed.  
''Then there's only two options : one, he's in love, two : he's prepping for one big-ass break up.''  
''You think so?'' Li was shocked.  
''Mm. Pretty sure.''  
''Makes sense,'' I voiced. ''I just hope it's the latter. If he's in love with Kendall Jenner, God help us.''  
''Yeah. That's not a lie,'' Liam agreed.  
''What's she like?'' Anya questioned, putting the kettle on and slicing up some veggies.  
''Not someone you'd want a guy you like to date,'' I answered dryly.  
''Hmmm. Well, those Kardashians,'' Li muttered.  
''Then I, too, hope it is the latter. Though, do you think he will embarrass her or something like that?'' Anya sounded worried. ''Those things tend to back fire.''  
''We need to talk to him,'' Li said urgently.  
''Yeah. We need a strategy, though.'' This was me.  
''Think it over,'' Anya sighed, piling sandwiches onto a plate and pouring hot tea into two mugs. ''Here you go, Liam. Considering the amount everyone eats around here, you're going to need that much.''  
We all laughed as Anya passed me the other cup of tea. ''This is really good,'' Liam complimented.  
''Thanks.''  
Just then, Louis entered, yawning and sleepy. He rubbed his eyes comically. ''Is it just me, or is that Anya?''  
''Yeah, it's me. Hi, Louis. Good morning. Slept well?''  
''Rather well,'' he said oddly. ''Oh my God. Zayn, that's your clothes!''  
Anya blushed, turning away and concentrating on the task at hand.  
''Well, yeah pretty much,'' I shrugged. ''She's going to stay here for the weekend.''  
''It'll be nice to have you around,'' Lou said cheerfully, ''as long as you don't make us clean our bedrooms.''  
''I won't,'' she laughed. ''That only applies to Zayn's wardrobe.''  
''Hey!'' I objected humorously. ''That's not fair.''  
''Love is never fair,'' Liam stated. ''You knew that.''  
''It really isn't, and you should see that the pros do outweigh the cons, Zaynie,'' Lou drawled.  
''That's so cute,'' Anya said, ''Zaynie is just adorable. And it suits him.''  
''It sounds like I'm a kid,'' I wailed.  
''Who said you aren't?'' Lou joked. ''You are to me. I'll always be older than you.''  
''But I'm not a kid!'' I protested. ''Oh, come on Anya.''  
Lou poked in again. ''Oh, Anya of course knows that, you fool. She's the one who knows it best!''  
''Louis,'' she muttered, putting a plate of sandwiches in front of him.  
He backed up. ''Okay, okay, fine. If you keep feeding me food this good, I will never tease you again.''  
''That actually sounds like the best deal we're going to get,'' I observed, ''so we'll take it.''  
''Oh,'' Lou said suddenly, ''Eleanor might be coming over today. If she can leave Manchester.''  
''I'm probably swinging by to meet Soph tonight, anyways,'' Liam informed, ''so she could just come by here instead. You'll get to meet them both, Anya.''  
''Only if you're comfortable with it,'' I amended quickly, looking at my girlfriend.  
''Of course. I would love to meet them guys. They sound incredible,'' she beamed. She turned to me. ''But what about my clothes?''  
''You want to drop by your flat? We'll go,'' I offered.  
''Don't come with me. I'll take a guard, don't sweat it. You stay here.''  
''Why?'' I pouted.  
''I don't like you out there, exposing yourself. And then there's Sean.''  
''Okay.''  
''Who's Sean?'' Li asked. I looked at Anya.  
''They should know. You tell them. I'll be back in an hour.'' She pecked my cheek. ''See you guys.''


	54. 52. On The Path Of Ruin

Zayn's POV

Now I had to tell the guys who the hell this Sean guy was. I didn't want it to come to this! I didn't have a choice anymore.  
''What's going on?'' Harry asked, walking in with Niall behind him. I immediately focussed on the two youngest lads, especially on the curly-haired one.  
''Wow, you're up early,'' Lou commented, slapping his best mate's shoulder. Li and I didn't even breathe.  
''I couldn't sleep,'' Haz replied. ''Who made tea?''  
''Um, Anya did,'' Li told him, pointing at the sandwiches she'd made for them before leaving. ''Those are for you guys. I don't really think they're going to be enough considering one of you's Niall, but have a go, anyways.''  
''Just spill, already. We're all here together, better get on with it,'' Louis asserted.  
''Anything wrong?'' Niall's mouth was full. ''Oh my God, these are good.''  
''What's up?'' Harry looked at me, daring me to confess.  
''Sit down first,'' I sighed. ''It's important.''  
''Okay.'' Everyone shuffled for a minute. ''Spill.''  
''When I met Anya, she'd just broken up with another guy. His name is Sean Richard. He was really harassing her, making a scene for no reason, stuff like that. One time he'd even gone up to her flat and screamed at her to come out, but she wasn't home. That was when I found out about him. Of course, that was infuriating for me, as you can imagine.  
''You remember the day she met you first, right? That night, we went back to her flat and he was there. He'd somehow broken in and trashed a glass sheet. I obviously made him leave, but I was absolutely pissed at the guy. He wanted to hurt her. I don't know what would have happened had I not been there. And then I was worried I was going to kill him! But she was there, and I couldn't allow myself to turn violent. Here I was, trying to express my feelings!  
''Later, I asked her if he was causing any trouble, but he'd calmed down pretty well, more so than I had expected. Just when we thought it might be over, bam! Oh, it's not over.  
''He's been keeping an eye on Anya. He already knew I knew Anya, but he didn't know we were in a relationship. So, he was making sure, and now he is. He is going to expose us,'' I finished my monologue.  
Everyone was shell-shocked. Liam was the first to speak. ''Wow.''  
Lou was next. ''What a dick head.''  
''Indeed,'' Niall agreed.  
''Maybe we should bash his face in before he can do this,'' Harry suggested rather menacingly. ''That way, you're safe, Zayn, and so is Anya.''  
''This isn't really about me, it's about Anya,'' I insisted.  
''Bro, she's important to you, that means she's important to me.'' He looked at me with his emerald eyes. ''I'm serious. Do something about the arse.''  
''What can I?'' I felt hopeless. ''We only have till Monday.''  
''That means we need to act NOW,'' Haz pushed. ''Dude, this is very important.''  
''Yeah,'' Lou nodded, ''act now, before it is too late.''  
''Let's think,'' Niall started.  
''Guys,'' Liam interrupted, just I was about to. ''This is wrong. If we scheme against Sean, what better are we than him?''  
''Daddy Direction,'' Lou said, ''we don't give a freaking damn about whether we are above or beneath this ass. Am I right, Narry?''  
They both nodded sassily.  
''Guys, no,'' I objected. ''Please. Even if you do succeed in stopping him, someone else will find out and spread it instead. It's going to come outt some day, right?''  
''But we're not prepared for this right now,'' Liam said coolly, ''and we need time. Isn't there a way to just stop this guy in a civilized manner?''  
''I don't really think so.'' I hung my head.  
''Zayn?'' Anya's distant voice registered in my mind.  
I hid my head in my hands, trying to push the tears back into my eyes. So impossible.  
She hugged me from the side, pressing her face into the back of my neck. She was almost cradling me, her hair falling onto me. ''Zayn, please. You need to stay strong. Otherwise I won't be able to.''  
I could feel wet drops falling on the nape of my neck, sliding down either side. They broke me; the worst thing I could ever go through was Anya, crying.  
I lifted my head and pulled her to me tightly, crushing our bodies together. She didn't mind, and let me. I just wanted to make her pain go away; I couldn't not. At the same time, I was trying to pull myself together. It was a lot more difficult than I would've thought, and it took time. Anya felt my grip on her loosen, and she pulled away gently.  
''How are you feeling?'' she whispered, wiping my tears away.  
''I'll make it.'' I sounded horrible. My voice was choked up, tight and closed-off.  
She looked at me worriedly, and I knew she didn't believe me. I didn't know if I believed myself right now.  
''Really,'' I insisted, stronger now. ''I just need a few minutes to myself. Like I always do.'' I gave her a half-smile, but her expression didn't change. My attempt at bravado hadn't worked then.  
Anya said just one word. ''Please.''  
I had to turn around and walk away, because I knew that if I didn't, I would break down right in front of her. And my band mates, who I'd nearly forgotten about. I ran away to the cave, and I knew I would be alone here.

Anya's POV

Only part of my brain registered the fact that Zayn had gotten up and walked away. The rest of it was focussed on the reason. The only only reason he would do something like that was....  
No. No. We could do this together, right? We could, and we would. We had to. I needed him too much now. I couldn't live without him. Tears fell down my face, but I couldn't unfreeze to wipe them away. My whole body started shaking violently, but I couldn't wrap myself together nor could I get a grip on myself. I couldn't bear to think that Sean had succeeded.  
This made my crying worse. It was no longer silent; the sobs tore through me, completely destroying everything in their path. I didn't really see him get up or approach me until he was actually touching me. Harry hugged me, tightly wrapping his arms around me and allowing me to wet his shirt. It was almost as if he was trying to keep me from crashing into pieces. I didn't try to stop myself from my emotions; it was too late now. There was nothing I could do. The damage was done.


	55. 53. All Healed

Anya's POV

It took a long time. I didn't really know how much time had passed, and I didn't want to know how long Harry had simply held me. I was finally able to stop crying, stop shaking and stop feeling defeated. Sean Richard was not going to ruin me any more. And he would not be able to hurt the man I loved.  
Once I calmed down, Harry gently pulled away. I looked up at him, a little rueful. I needed to thank him for what he'd just done for me.  
''No thanks required, love,'' he said before I could speak, ''no thanks required at all. You needed that; I could see it in your face. You're my friend, too, now.''  
I felt emotional hearing his words. ''I don't know what I would've done.''  
''You're going to be just fine.''  
''You overestimate me,'' I sniffled.  
''Come on, now, maybe you should rest. This has been stressful.''  
It was now I noticed that Liam, Louis and Niall were gone. ''Where did the boys go?''  
''They left when I told them to,'' he replied, reaching for my bag. ''Let me just drop this in your room.''  
''It's Zayn's room,'' I corrected, following him up the stairs.  
''And you're his girl. So it's yours, too.'' He dropped the bag next to the dresser.  
''Do you think Zayn will be okay?'' I asked tentatively.  
''He'll be fine. He's stronger than we think. Get some rest.''  
Harry left me alone, and I was beginning to think that wasn't such a good idea. I changed into yoga pants and a holey tee, and laid down on the bed. My heart was hammering. I was tensed. Nervous. Sad.  
I closed my eyes, but I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was conjuring up disturbing scenarios. Images that made me shake and cry hovered in my head. My pillow was now wet.

''Anya, honey?'' I could hear his melodious voice close to me. ''Wake up, darling.''  
My eyes flew open. He had sounded so....normal. He looked normal.  
''Hey, there,'' he whispered, touching my face. ''Are you okay? Your pillow is wet.''  
''Forget about me,'' I said weakly, touching his hand. ''Please tell me you're okay.'' My desperation was so evident in my voice, it made his forehead crease. ''Please.''  
''Shh, Anya,'' he consoled me, ''I'm fine. I overreacted a little. I'm okay now. You know me. I just need some time to myself and then I make it.''  
I nodded, sitting up and crushing my body to his. He needed it as much as I did. He wrapped himself around me, holding me with just the right amount of tightness.  
''I love you,'' he said softly into my ear.  
''I love you, too.'' I buried my face in his shoulder, revelling in the way it felt when he held me. I didn't have words. I needed better words.  
''We should go downstairs now,'' he said gently, ''the guys are waiting.''  
Suddenly I remembered something. ''Are Eleanor and Sophia here?''  
''No, they're coming tonight. Louis and Liam told them to. We were a wreck, and they know that we can both be very embarrassed to be seen that way.''  
I pulled away, nodding. ''This is all my fault.''  
He held my chin and jerked my face up, forcing me to meet his eyes. ''Anya, don't you ever say that to me again. Do you have any idea how much that hurts me?''  
Pain lanced through my chest. ''I'm sorry.''  
He kissed me all of a sudden, with a burning kind of passion. It consumed everything else. There was nothing else, no one else as we drowned together.  
He pulled away just as abruptly, his eyes looking like charcoal embers. ''Let's go downstairs.''  
I bit my lip. ''Um, can I change and do my hair? It'll only take five minutes.''  
He laughed, smirking at me. ''Oh, you're back.''  
I ignored his remark, pulling out a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved top. I changed quickly, wanting to go down and reassure the boys we were fine now. I hastily pulled a brush through my tangles, dissatisfied. Giving up, I finally plaited my hair. Much better.  
''I guess I'm not the only one who's vain,'' he commented. I glared at him. He surrended, throwing his hands up. ''Whatever you say.''  
I took his hand and we walked downstairs together. Four stares weighed on my skin. I really couldn't put it off any longer. ''I need to say something,'' I announced. ''I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you. I'm going to try not to keep blaming myself here, but it is kind of hard. I know this affects all of you. There's nothing we can do to undo it, though. Thank you, for being my friends. Especially you.'' I looked at curly.  
''Hey, I do what I can.''  
''You don't have to thank us, Anya,'' Lou said. ''We're your friends.''  
''Yeah, isn't there a rule that says friends don't say sorry and thank you to each other?'' Niall asked. ''You just said both.''  
''Okay, I won't anymore.''  
''Good. Let's have some lunch.''

Things slowly made their way back to normal, and everyone relaxed as the day progressed. I had nearly forgotten about having to meet Eleanor and Sophia when Louis's phone started blasting a Robbie Williams love song. I zoned out the conversation, looking at the way Lou just lit up. And this was just from a phone conversation no more than a minute long. I wondered how hyper he would get once she got here.  
He cut the call and gave me a sassy look. ''Are you, Anya, ready to meet my fabulous Eleanor Calder?''  
''Of course she's ready,'' Zayn murmured, kissing my head. My head was on his chest.  
''As ready as I'll ever be,'' I confirmed.  
''She's here, 'cause.'' Just then, as if by the best time-sync ever, she appeared. She stood in the doorway of the room for a second, looking at us lounging. And then Louis was literally running up to her, lifting her up the ground and spinning her around as she kissed him.  
They both pulled away from each other at the same time, smiling and beaming. I couldn't help but be struck by her beauty, just like I had with Doniya.  
''You must be Anya,'' she smiled. ''Louis has told me so much about you.''  
I looked at him. ''Oh, really? He doesn't stop talking about you, either.''  
She laughed, sitting next to me. Zayn and Louis both grumbled. ''Shut up, you guys,'' she commanded. ''So, have you gone crazy yet hanging with these idiots?''  
''Not yet. But I might.''  
''Hey!'' Zayn objected.  
I gave him a sly glance. ''Don't worry, Zayn, I'll always love you.''  
Everyone 'oooh'ed. I blushed, averting my eyes to my lap.  
''Maybe we should go outside,'' Eleanor suggested. ''Here, it's like the tease-fest.'' She looked as if she actually enjoyed it.  
''Sure.'' I stood up. Zayn was pouting. ''Oh, come on, I'm not going to the moon. Have some fun with your mates.''  
''Fine.''  
I followed Eleanor outside.


	56. 54. Eleanor Calder

Zayn's POV

We were all looking outside, watching Anya and Eleanor. They sat on the swing, looking at the woods. Their faces were smiling and laughing most of the time, and their lips moved continuously. Who knew my Anya could be so talkative?  
Louis grunted when they both laughed so much they looked as if they would fall down. It was probably something about Louis's antics, but I guessed that was not the reason he was growling. That reason was the fact that his girlfriend was out there, engaging in girl talk, rather than being with him. I couldn't really hold that against him. I felt the same way.  
''What do you think they're talking about?'' Lou asked, still looking outside.  
''I don't know,'' I frowned. ''I'm not a lip reader.''  
''My guess is, they're talking about you two,'' Liam said casually, typing away on his phone.  
''Or maybe how bad we are at dancing,'' Ni suggested.  
We all laughed. ''Sometimes I think you're my baby brother,'' I told him.  
''Greg likes that,'' Li said absently.  
''Oh, come on guys, I'm not even the youngest one here.'' He pointed at Harry.  
''Shut up,'' he muttered. ''I'm done with all the babying stuff. Like, I'm 20 years old.''  
I gave up, turning to Haz. ''But you'll always be younger than all of us.''  
''I hate that.'' He threw his head into a pillow.  
''My petty, petty brother,'' Lou sighed, patting his curls. ''There, there. Don't feel bad.''  
Everyone sniggered. ''It's like we said,'' Liam interjected, ''without Louis Tomlinson, we would be the most boring bad in the world.''  
''Well, thank you, Payne.''  
Li bowed slightly. ''Praise the leader.''  
We all laughed again, musing over all of the last three and a half years. ''Really, it's been crazy,'' Niall reminisced. ''Like I said, we're the luckiest people in the world. There were so many 'what ifs' when it came to our formation.''  
''What if one of us hadn't auditioned?'' Lou added.  
''What if one of us had actually sung better and gotten selected in the boys category?'' This was Harry.  
''What if Uncle Simon hadn't created and worked with us?'' Li went.  
''Most importantly, guys,'' I prodded, ''what if he hadn't signed us?''  
''And the only reason he did was because of the fans. He literally has no idea why we have so many screaming girls as our fans, or what our appeal is. When we lost the X-Factor, they made it their mission,'' Lou reminded. ''Without them, we are nothing.''  
''And now we're dating fans,'' I said to him. ''Who would've thought?''  
''We always dreamed of making it big, just individually. That would've been boring compared to this,'' Li put in.  
''Yeah, solo artistes get so bored on tour, lonely. At least, we have each other, you know?'' This was Horan.  
''I love you guys,'' Harry slobbered all over the pillow.  
''You're sleepy,'' I noted.  
''I love you guys,'' he repeated. He had no idea what he was saying. He was talking like a drunk. We knew it was the truth, mind you, and we all loved each other. But wasn't this a step too far?  
''We should get him to bed,'' Lou said, concerned.  
''I'll go get Paul or Preston.'' Liam got up, walking outside.  
''What has he been doing all night?'' I wondered out loud.  
''Kendall might be keeping him up, mate. Or maybe it's his active libido going unsatisfied,'' Lou thought out loud.  
''Possible,'' Ni nodded.  
Just then, Preston walked in, gave Harry one look and rolled his eyes. Without a word, he lifted him up and carried him upstairs.  
Liam entered. ''I wonder how they put up with us. We're such a mess sometimes.''  
''Most of the times,'' his best pal corrected.  
''True,'' I breathed, turning my attention to Anya and Eleanor again. ''I'm thankful for whatever it is that's made them stick with us.''  
''Yeah, us too.''

Anya's POV

We were finally quiet, looking around us. I gazed at the woods.  
''Can I ask you something?'' she said.  
''Of course.''  
''Do you think they'll stop?''  
''What do you mean? Stop singing? Stop being One Direction?'' My voice became elevated, stressed. ''Did Louis say anything?''  
''Not really, but I was just thinking. What will happen if- when they stop?''  
''They'll get to live normal lives a few years later, once the hype dies down. They'll get to experience all the things they've missed out on so far. They'll get to marry and have kids. But they'll always be friends. No matter what.''  
''You really think so?''  
I nodded. ''Yeah, but I can barely imagine them ever stopping. It would be so....''  
''I know what you mean,'' she sighed. ''It won't be easy for them, or the fans. I should say 'us' fans, but you know what I mean.''  
''Hmmm. I try not to think about it, really.''  
''Me, too.''  
''I always wondered how all of them, especially Louis, could be so crazy and yet so grounded at the same time. Now I know,'' I smiled.  
''I used to wonder how everyone put up with them. The stylists, bodyguards, management, everyone. They're just so lovable.''  
''That's why we call ourselves Directioners,'' I added.  
She giggled. ''I can just imagine how Lou would react if he heard that coming from us.''  
''Oh yeah.''  
''You're fun.''  
''Thanks. You, too. Though I expected that.''  
''How come?''  
''Louis,'' I said his name like an expletive. ''You have to be like him to understand and handle him. And you're forgetting I ship all couples.''  
''And now you're in one,'' she pointed out.  
''Somehow, that still feels unreal,'' I admitted. ''But he doesn't. Maybe the whole 'I'm dating a famous guy' part hasn't sunk in yet.''  
''I think that's why he loves you. You see the person inside, not the one on the outside.''  
''In today's world, that is a huge compliment for me. So thanks.''  
''Don't mention it. I don't really want to ask you this, but....'' she hesitated.  
''Go ahead.''  
''Are you ready to handle it all? The hate, the papz, the fans.....it's very overwhelming.''  
''Actually, I was going to ask you for help on that one. Your story is not that different from mine.''  
''Right.''  
''Does it hurt? When people say you don't deserve Lou?''  
''It hurt a lot in the beginning. I was going crazy. Here I was, suddenly turning into a girlfriend to Louis Tomlinson. I'd been just another fan a mere month ago. You have no idea.....but I got over it. When Lou found out I was upset, he said that he would always think he didn't deserve me. Like I would ever believe that!''  
''You guys are perfect together,'' I told her. ''I sincerely believe that.''  
''Thanks. I just ponder over it sometimes. We were both dating other people when we met. I love him to the moon and back.'' She looked at the woods dreamily.  
''Aww, that's so cute!''  
She blushed, looking away. ''And what about you? Zayn is crazy about you!''  
''I might have to warn you, your boyfriend exaggerates things sometimes,'' I said sarcastically.  
''I saw the way he was holding you and looking at you. Girl, he's so deeply in love with you, he wants to make you his wife someday.''  
My heart seemed to skip a beat. ''You really think so?''  
''I know, honey. Trust me.''  
I flushed, looking at the ground.  
''Yeah. Go ahead and blush.''  
Of course, that just made me turn redder. But was she right?


	57. 55. Being A Couple

Anya's POV

Louis and Zayn came outside at about 5 in the evening. We'd mostly talked about them in the past few hours, anyway. Zayn extended his hand for me, and I took it. He pulled me up and to his body before running his hand through my hair and kissing me. I kissed back, feeling a thrill as to how perfectly our bodies fit together.  
He pulled away, brushing a tendril of my hair that had crept onto my face. I smiled at him. He dazzled me. We gazed into each other's eyes, and it was one of those moments when everything and everyone else simply ceased to exist.  
When we finally snapped out of it, Lou was down on his knees in front of Eleanor, and they were kissing passionately. Zayn put his arms around me as I did the same. I rested my head on his chest. We watched affectionately, remembering similar experiences of our own.  
They stopped after what seemed like a very long time. ''Guys, you can stop staring now,'' Louis told us, but he was still looking at his girlfriend and she at him. He stood up, took her hand and made her stand up. ''You're coming with me.'' With that, he was pulling her away.  
She turned to us as she went, still red. ''I'll see you guys later!'' And just like that, they were running to the bedroom.  
''I would love to take their example,'' Zayn said low in my ear.  
I lifted my face. ''You would, wouldn't you?''  
''Oh, you have NO idea.''  
I traced the outer line of his lips with my fingertip, making him shiver slightly. I followed with my tongue. I smirked when I felt a poking in my stomach. He swallowed, trying to clear his head.  
''Anya,'' he said breathlessly. It pleased me to know how much power I had over him.  
''Come on.'' I pulled at his tee. As if he couldn't get it done fast enough, he swept me up into his arms so fast I didn't see it coming. And then he was running to the stairs, up the stairs and to his bedroom. He dropped me on the bed and locked the door in all of five seconds.  
He came down on me, his eyes dark with desire. I gave in to him as he hastily got my clothes, and his, out of the way. His thick shaft throbbed as I touched him. He rolled and sank into the bed, his breath shortening. I stroked him, whispering his name. He moaned.  
I kissed, licked, bit and sucked on his skin around his chest. His moans were getting louder, more pronounced. I washed my tongue over his nipples, making him grab my hair with one arm. I paid no attention as I lowered myself to his member. I rubbed along the tip before holding him at the base and licking him. Tasting him gave a new thrill; a new high. I sucked on the tip as he groaned loudly.  
He pushed me away all of a sudden, gasping for air. ''I was about to....'' he tried to say.  
I realised what he was going to tell me. ''I want it,'' I breathed, dipping my head and taking him in my mouth entirely. His fingers weaved into my hair, but this time he didn't stop me. I pulled away and pushed ahead again, making him grunt. I resisted the urge to gag as his tip entered my throat, hollowing my cheeks around him. He shouted my name, releasing inside my mouth. I swallowed, pleased.  
I stood on all fours on the bed, trying to draw breath. I was so preoccupied in doing that, I didn't see Zayn flip me over. Now he was on top of me. His eyes were excited, and I knew he was going to make me scream louder than I'd made him.  
He cupped my breasts, palming them and thumbing my nipples. I bit my lip. He massaged me, whispering at me. ''You like that, huh? I bet you do. But this is just the beginning. You're going to be screaming so loud, Anya. So loud your throat is going to be sore tomorrow.''  
A chill ran through me. He took one stiff point in between his lips, sucking and licking. My hands wound into his silky hair involuntarity.  
He took his time before moving to the other one. I was nearly about to let my throat rip, but I had somehow held back. Small moans passed my lips almost continuously; it was impossible not to make a sound when he was touching me like this.  
He slid down my body, parting my legs gently. He rubbed me.....there. Liquid heat coursed through me maddeningly. ''That feels nice, doesn't it?'' he teased me with a throaty chuckle. ''Shockingly pleasurable, isn't it? I know you're going to LOVE this.''  
He lowered his head, and washed his tongue over my centre. ''Zayn,'' I gasped, my voice sounding half-strangled. He didn't say anything, nor did he stop. When I said his name again, he closed his lips around it and suckled, making me scream. He was even more motivated, and prodded inside me with one finger. I screamed again.  
He worked it in and out, using his tongue at the same time. I started to shake slightly; I was close. So close.....  
Again he startled me. He suddenly straightened, still stroking me while reaching to the drawer, and pulling out the familiar package. He unwrapped it hastily, my loud moans making him do it faster. He removed his hand and plunged his erect self deep inside me.  
''Zayn.'' My voice sounded shaky. The sensations had been building up for a long time, and they exploded when he kissed me. I moaned into his mouth as I flew off the cliff edge, spasming. He waited for me, gazing at me once I opened my eyes. ''That was....'' I had no words.  
He kissed me again, short this time. And then he started to move. My body was still vibrating from the aftershocks of my peak, and I was soon edging towards it again. I was unable to comprehed how it had happened, but suddenly we were both screaming each others' names, in a perfect tangle.  
''Open your eyes, Anya,'' he crooned, our bodies still attached. I obeyed, gazing at his face. It had a sheen of sweat. ''You are....amazing.''  
I was still panting, my lungs not as capacitative as his. ''You are the one that's truly amazing.''  
We untangled, and I fell on my stomach, trying to get out of my temporary shortness of breath. He lay down next to me on his side, watching me pant. ''Still out of breath?''  
I nodded. ''I don't have your superhuman lungs.''  
He chuckled. ''That's understandable.''  
''You think anyone heard us?'' I asked tentatively.  
''Baby, I think everyone in London heard us,'' he grinned. ''Well, the guys definitely did. Let's just hope Louis and Eleanor were louder than us.''  
''Zayn!'' I grumbled.  
He shrugged. ''You know what I'm like when it comes to sex.''  
''Yeah,'' I shot back, ''I can describe it in one word. Insatiable.''  
''I'm hoping you're being sarcastic,'' he said, but then re-thought. ''Actually, you may be right.''  
''Zayn!'' I complained again.  
He looked at the watch, sighing. ''As much as I'd love to stay here and chat, maybe we should go downstairs. It's almost 7.''  
''Wow,'' I said, stretching. ''We're going to get picked on.''  
''Damn right. But tonight, I just wouldn't mind. I might even enjoy it.''  
''You liked it that much?''  
''You don't know?''  
''Really?'' I widened my eyes.  
''Mm-hmm.''  
''Wow. Wow.''  
He shrugged again, getting up. ''Let's just go before I fall asleep.''  
''Yeah, let's,'' I laughed. ''Otherwise you will fall asleep and wake up tomorrow morning.''


End file.
